ap Page 1606 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • In progress — Bowling. PBA Spartanburg [ESPNC] • In progress — Into The Blue [SHOe] • 1:00 — Pool. Women's 9-Ball Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — U.S. Marshals [SPIKE] • 1:30 — The Jackal [USA] • 2:00 — Shanghai Noon [TBS] • 2:00 — National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [TBS] • 2:30 — ...

Year In Review: April
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with April. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature someth...

Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...

Yes America, The K-Fuk Era Is Here
Move over, Stubby Clapp. One side, Rusty Kuntz. There's a new sheriff in town. Cubs fans — and America — get ready to welcome Kosuke Fukudome to Major League Baseball, and into your hearts. The Japanese outfielder has agreed in principal to a four-year, $48 million deal with Chicago, which means tha...

About Last Night
What you missed while stumbling upon a ditch full of stumps... • NBA: The Wizards couldn't hang with the Suns, but at least I got to have a nice chat with my buddy Tony Brothers. • CBB: Virginia beat the Longwood Boners* but Mustapha Farrakhan was held scoreless in two minutes much to the dismay of ...

Which Sports-Related Person Would Engage In A 2Girls1Cup-Type Video?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next five Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FIVE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....

The Patriots Might Just Be Toying With Us Now
A while back, we said that this whole "call a timeout right before a big play" business would end when someone called a timeout that nullified a great, game-winning play by his own team. That's exactly what happened tonight, thanks to an overeager timeout from Baltimore defensive coordinator Rex Ry...

At Least The Big Ten Won Three, Anyway
Yes, we know we're the only people who care about the Big Ten/ACC Challenge, but indulge us: It's difficult to find any kind of sustained series between two supposedly competitive leagues that involves such repeated dominance....

About Last Night
What you missed while dodging errant gunfire by Bobby Knight ... • College basketball: Take the A Train ... Ellington, North Carolina subdue Ohio State, 66-55. • NBA: Ow, my dialing finger! James injured as Pistons beat Cavaliers 109-74. • Soccer: The lads from Liverpool are still alive in the Champ...

The Winter Olympic Mascots Are ... Yeaagh! What The Hell? ...
Inspired by Native American tales of creatures that will claw children's eyes out if they don't behave, please welcome the new Winter Olympic mascots, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi! The Games are a mere 2 1/2 years from now, so these charming critters need to get right to work, doing, um, whatever it is th...

That'll Be All For The Leafs
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....

The Patriots Are, For One Night, Almost Mortal
The Eagles might have fallen just short tonight, but three important things happened....

The Capitals Are Still On A Winning Streak!
• In Boudreau They Trust. Alexander Ovechkin tickled twine twice and Michael Nylander had a goal and two assists as the Capitals won their second straight under interim coach Bruce Boudreau. Caps 5, Hurricanes 2. The consecutive victories are DC's first since early October, the end of a three-game w...

The Capitals Are On A Winning Streak
It's the NHL Closer. I now snatch the mic from the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. "Hey, karaoke man, punch in System's "Chop Suey" will ya? The pipes feel strong today." This NHL Closer is written by a Canadian for Americans, Africans and Australians. That's it. So screw off, Luxembourgers....

Thanksgiving Games As Uninspiring As Always
As usual, the Thanksgiving Day slate of games yesterday was hardly compelling. All three games were blowouts, and it's never a positive sign when the most dramatic moment involves the phrase, "hey, the Lions are within 15 now!"...

Baseball Loses A Trailblazer
It is truly a sad day in the world of baseball: Kaz Tadano, the Japanese former relief pitcher for the Indians, has decided to return to Japan. We already miss him....

This Is Why People Hate High School
Everybody knows that the only thing on earth better than cheerleaders are cheerleaders who flash some ass. Despite this universal understanding the Modesto City Gestapo School Board are allowing cheerleaders to be suspended for flashing their panties....


Past, Present And Future Football Action
Brett Favre joined Dan Marino as the only quarterbacks in NFL history to throw for 60,000 yards during the Packers' 34-0 shellacking of the Vikings today. (Yes! I started the GB defense this week!) Adrian Peterson injured his knee thanks to an Al Harris helmet shot, but Jesus eventually rose and mad...

Just Like Indiana Jones, But Not
Non-Football TV • 12:30 — Sahara [TNT] • 1:00 — Bowling: PBA Etonic Championship [ESPN] • 1:00 — Boxing: Mike Tyson's Greatest Hits [ESPNC] • 1:00 — Golf: LPGA Tournament of Champions, Final-Round [GOLF] • 1:00 — Reindeer Games [FLIXe] • 1:00 — Rounders [FX] • 1:45 — Richie Rich [TBS] • 2:30 — NCAA ...