ap Page 1615 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Take Some Time Off, Spurs
While Tim Duncan justifiably receives all the credit for the Spurs advancement to the NBA Finals — which don't start for another week, by the way — Full Court NBA Blog points out that the guards have been pretty great too. That said, last night, the Jazz checked out plenty early; they looked eager t...
It's The Spurs ... Again
We congratulate the Spurs on their trip to the NBA Finals. We're gonna try really hard to like them. Honest. We are. Hey, Tim Duncan! He's good. That's something. See you tomorrow....
Could Be The Last Night For Your Jazz
Now that the Eastern Conference Finals are heating up — as much as anything post-Golden State in this playoffs has been able to "heat up" — the Western Conference can wrap up tonight, with San Antonio finishing up the Manu-ization of the NBA. There won't be as many Jazz fans to throw Blistex at Bruc...
Larry Hughes Is Feeling Rather Marginalized Right Now
Over the weekend, we were discussing LeBron James with a friend of ours. Specifically, we were discussing whether or not it was fair of us, on this here site, to brush off any notion of unfairness about LeBron's late game exploits by saying, "if you want us to drink your shitty sports drink, you mus...
LeBron James Extreme Closeup!
We bring you this terrifying photo of LeBron James not just to make sure you have appropriate nightmare fuel this evening — seriously, this guy is the most marketable athlete in the NBA? — but because in a few hours, we'll know right well whether or not LeBron and his Cavs can singlehandedly veer us...
Jose Canseco, Keeping Us Entertained For Nearly A Quarter Of A Century
Oh, 'tis a sad, sad day indeed when one is outwitted by Jose Canseco. As SportsbyBrooks so dutifly reported over the weekend, the man who once had a baseball bounce off his noggin for a home run has apparently convinced USA Today columnist Michael McCarthy that his non-existent TV reality show, Win ...
How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter
Problem: Nasty bloggers are spreading your 18-year-old pole vaulting daughter's picture across the Internets. (They can send all the letters to Ufford they want, but you can still find the picture here and here and about a million other places.) Solution: Scream your lungs out about it on the front ...
The Spurs, And The Playoffs, Are All About The Flop
If you needed concrete proof why many NBA fans have been dreading seeing the Spurs in the NBA Finals, last night's win over the Jazz provided it. It was a succession of flops, plods, slaps, free throws and Manu Ginobili. We know some just call this winning basketball; we think it's sucking all the l...
One Series Is Alive ... Can We Make It Two?
As close as this series has been so far, we're just one Pistons victory away from it being totally lopsided. They've been so close on the road, most people believe the Cavs will be able to take at least a game at home. Except for Rasheed Wallace, who would lead you to believe that if the Pistons try...
Small Cars Going In Circles, Because Peyton Manning Said They Could
The Indianapolis 500 is underway, and if the fact that I haven't mentioned until over an hour after it started seems to give an indication of my interest level in the race ... it probably does....
As Deron Williams Becomes A Superstar...
Well, that was emphatic ... and just what this postseason needed. The Utah Jazz, back on their homecourt, busted out the whoopin' sticks on the San Antonio Spurs last night. Carlos Boozer (while not trying to stuff the basketball into Tim Duncan's rectal cavity) and Deron Williams had that pick-and-...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Jazz 109, Spurs 83. And to think, I ridiculed their t-shirts. My apologies. • MLS: Wizards 4, Revolution 3. And it's a hat trick for Eddie Johnson. That guy's a wizard. • MLB: Padres 6, Brewers 3. Justin Germano: 4 starts, 3 wins, 1.08 ERA....
Hopefully, Tim Duncan Suffers From Cyanophobia
A fear of the color blue is what we're counting on to tighten this series up. The attire of the fans in Salt Lake City is the focus of the AP article previewing Game Three of the Spurs/Jazz series. Everyone in Energy Solutions arena will be decked out tonight in "True Blue" shirts that will, I don't...
Remembering Back When This Race Mattered
Allow us to be the next in the long line of people lamenting the sorry state of the Indianapolis 500. The race has always been the only automobile-related event — save for any demolition derby — we've ever cared much about, and not just because it took place an hour-and-a-half from our house....
Time For The Daily Taking Of LeBron's Temperature
As we've said before, even though it's probably not fair to pin every Cleveland Cavaliers playoff loss on LeBron James, hey, if you want us to buy your shitty sports drink, them's the breaks....
They're Playing Basketball Again
As we wonder which LeBron James will show up tonight, we gear ourselves back up again for the NBA Playoffs, which feel like they've been gone longer than they have even though no one's particularly missed them all that much. There's a thought that if Cleveland wasn't gonna sneak out Game 1 — when th...
We Still Can't Find The Name Kaka In the Bible
Would it surprise you to learn that right now we are wearing the exact same shirt as our friend, Kaka, above? In addition to the gift of spiritual peace and salvation, we will be quickly returned to Jesus if we are ever lost or stolen. So we have that going for us....
Shane Victorino And His Skirt Can Be On Your Dashboard
Pity poor Shane Victorino. The Phillies outfielder/journeyman is being honored with his own figurine at a Phillies game on June 3, which has to be a thrill for any major league baseball player. (It was certainly a thrill for Mr. Celery!) Why Shane Victorino? Well, he's Hawaiian, and that makes him u...
Andrew Walter Will Hear Your Confession Now
We're a bit late on this, but alas:...
Yes. Right. Playoffs. Still Happening. Got It.
Oh yeah! There was a basketball game last night! Right!...