as Page 2295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dancing With The Fantasy Football Stars
The Internet, we must confess, has mostly ruined the time-tested ritual of in-person fantasy football drafts. The Cheeto-stained cheat sheets, the endless (and mostly lame) trash-talking and the guy wearing the Jake Plummer jersey (ahem) ... all that's pretty much behind us. We have friends from all...
Just When We Think The Yankees Are Out Of It, Someone Pulls Them Back In
Roger Clemens — you may remember him — is back in the news, having been arrested in a Minnesota restroom for soliciting sex from an undercover ... whoa, sorry. Let's back up. I've made a painful error; let's start over. Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) threw six innings of two-hit ball against the Red Sox...
About Last Night
What you missed while scrubbing your retinas ... • MLB: Yankees get your hopes up before their inevitable demise. NY 4, Boston 3. • Basketball: Actual USA Today headline ... "LeBron's Laser-Sharp Focus Leads USA Over Uruguay" • Soccer: In which we are shocked to learn that David Beckham is injured a...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while developing through chemicals the best damned roller skater in the nation ... • Basketball: FIBA Americas Championship, second round, at Las Vegas, Uruguay vs. USA. Uruguay's mascot is the fearsome two-toed sloth. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. This looked a lot more c...
Red Sox Fans Try To Explain The President Of Red Sox Nation Thing
We do not speak the language of Red Sox Nation. We do not dislike the Red Sox, or their fans, and we do not think the city of Boston is racist. We love Boston! We just don't understand the Red Sox Nation thing; it just scares us. That said, many of our best friends are Red Sox fans, and they're at l...
Start Collecting Pennies For Bonds' Ball
It might be time to start pouring some funds into your Paypal account, because Matt Murphy's auctioning off of Barry Bonds' 756th home run ball has begun. It's rather pricey....
Andy Rooney Is Quite Old
Editor's Note: Given our longstanding love of Andy Rooney — we remind you that we own every book Andy Rooney has ever written — we've been trying to avoid any discussion of his recent and now infamous baseball column all week. Alas, inertia has overtaken us. To save our broken heart, we decided to h...
NFL Season Preview: New York Jets
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Jumpin' Jacques Flash Has Chicago Glowing
In a world where the Milwaukee Brewers spent 125 days in first place, there was danger in the air for every Cubs fan. But a new wind was about to blow ... . Jacque Jones was once the object of ridicule and scorn at Wrigley Field; Cubs fans going from actively booing him to simply sitting on their ha...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while organizing your chickens ... • MLB: Your first-place Cubs drop the Brewers to third. Let's see, who does that leave in second? • Basketball: Small island territory falls to the might of LeBron James and the U.S. But Uruguay looms ... (ominous music) ... • Tennis: Um, you don't ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as all the verbs in your latest book project go on strike ... • Basketball: FIBA Americas Championship, second round, at Las Vegas, Canada vs. Argentina, at Las Vegas [FSN]; Puerto Rico vs. USA. Winner of Warm Weather bracket will meet winner of Cold Weather bracket for title. [ESPN2] ...
Probably Time To Retire The Seventh Inning Stretch At Wrigley
We recognize that we are saying this as a dastardly Cardinals fan who roots for the Cubs to lose even when they aren't two games ahead with just more than a month to play, but we still think we're at least slightly justified when we say this: It's probably time to knock it off with the seventh innin...
Mark Cuban Doesn't Really Care About Steroids
Chalk us up as people who would love to see Mark Cuban be allowed to buy the Chicago Cubs — he says he still can't talk about it whether or not he has even submitted a bid — but we can't think his response to a question about steroids, in an interview with Portfolio magazine, is gonna help his cause...
Ray McDonald Coulda Been Somebody
We'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to Ray McDonald. You've probably never heard of him. He would desperately like to change that....
EVERYTHING HE EDITS IS IMPORTANT
Surely, by now, you've heard of the genius that is Wikiscanner, the program that reveals which corporations are editing their Wikipedia pages. (Exxon cleaning up details on their oil spill, for example; Slate has a great story about it.) Well, it should probably come as little surprise that ESPN is ...
NFL Season Preview: Cleveland Browns
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Miss Teen South Carolina Has Discovered The Map To Our Hearts
She captivated the nation with her controversial stances on maps, and "the Iraq, everywhere such as." Yesterday we showed you the video of her performance at the Miss Teen USA Pageant, and like the rest of "U.S. Americans," you instantly fell in love. Now, here's more of Miss Teen South Carolina Lau...
Brett Myers Wishes To Clear The Air
Only one apology in this edition of Who's Sorry Now?, if we're not counting Michael Vick. It's Phillies reliever Brett Myers, who expresses regret over calling Philadelphia Inquirer reporter Sam Carchidi "a retard" during a terse exchange Saturday. Myers had given up a couple of home runs against th...
Looks Like We Have Us Another Race, Folks
Well lookee here, the Padres have decided to make this interesting after all. Geoff Blum's two-run homer in the seventh and Jake Peavy's 11-strikeouts led San Diego to a 3-1 win over Arizona, cutting the Diamondbacks' lead in the West to two games. And since the teams play each other six more times ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while corraling your emu ... • MLB: Chase Utley is back, which can only mean ... World Series! Phillies 9, Mets 2. • Basketball: OK, this has got to be traveling, or carrying, or something ... U.S. easily handles Mexico in FIBA action. • Tennis: Roger Federer somehow beats the great ...