as Page 2311 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is Why We Should Arm All Umpires .. And Mascots
You know what would make baseball even more popular? Regularly scheduled gunfights! In East Texas, a rec league game turned into a hail of buckshot....

Lakers Make It Just Interesting Enough To Ultimately Disappoint
In a way, we kind of agree with what Free Darko wrote in their playoff preview for us: This could end up being the one playoff series in which, if the Lakers lose, Kobe Bryant might get a pass. But he's not gonna be able to pull it off if the Lakers, you know, actually make it close. A four-game swe...

The Daily Closer: Oh Sammy, You Crazy Nut
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while fishing with Tony Soprano ... • NBA: Well, he was 30 short of 75 points, but Kobe, Lakers make it a series vs. Suns • MLB: Phil of the Future rocked in Yankees' debut, Blue Jays prevail 6-0. • NHL: The Great White Hope ... Sharks clamp down on Red Wings, 2-0....

Alex Rodriguez, Baseball's Savior
White is black, black is white, people ... dogs and cats are living together, mass hysteria. In a scenario that seems so insane that it just might work, can you imagine a planet in which Alex Rodriguez becomes the most beloved player in the game, the savior of the sport we all revere? Rumors And Ran...

As The Old Joke Goes, She's Out With A Womb
Considering we don't, you know, pay all the collegiate athletes who bring in so much money for their universities, an athletic scholarship is the holy grail, the precious, the one benefit to spending so much time training and sweating. So one can't lose it, lest the whole matter go to waste....

"No, I Said HOLD The Mayo!"
According to CNN, the five most dangerous jobs in America are:...

He Doesn't Give A Damn, Sing Whatever You Want
This somewhat old — from October — video, via Every Day Should Be Saturday, features two, um, casual Oklahoma State fans just kind of chilling, not giving a damn....

Stone Cold Tony Stewart Tells It Like It Is
If only Don Imus had thought of this. Tony Stewart says he was fighting a fever on Tuesday night on his weekly radio show when he accused NASCAR of rigging their races like professional wrestling, which is a big insult to either NASCAR or professional wrestling, we're not sure which....

Bonds Is Gonna Break The Record, And It's Driving Some People Mad
Kids, we hate to be there bearer of bad tidings here, but it's pretty clear right now that Barry Bonds is going to break Hank Aaron's home run record, and quite soon. After another homer last night, Bonds is now only 14 behind Aaron. It's happening, everyone. We're just going to have to be ready for...

Curt Schilling Accused Of Being Self-Aggrandizing. Really.
We're not sure it matters, ultimately, whether or not Curt Schilling, as Gary Thorne famously (and obliviously) claimed last evening, actually painted blood on his sock in the 2004 World Series. We don't think he did, and his performance was rather amazing either way, but Schilling has always seemed...

Warriors Were Closer Than You Probably Think They Were
The final score might not have been indicative, but anyone who watched that Dallas-Golden State game last night knows that the Warriors had every opportunity to make this a 2-0 series last night. Something — whether it's pace, or just Avery Johnson being a bad playoff coach — about the Warriors fall...

The Daily Closer: What's A Guy Got To Do To Get A $%&#&! Win Around Here?
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while ... Sweet Fancy Moses! ... • NBA: Avery Johnson finally decides to supersize it, Mavericks 112, Warriors 99. • MLB: Sixteen strikeouts, down the drain! Arizona 3, San Diego 2. • NHL: Ha, take that, Bloomberg. Sabres 5, Rangers 2....

Seriously, Arkansas Fans Are Insane
We're not sure the true historic nature of what's going on at the University of Arkansas is being adequately appreciated. Basically, a bunch of ticked-off message board fans are doing everything they can to take down the athletic department of their university ... and they're doing a damned good job...

About Last Night ...
What you missed due to another troubling incident involving your superhero pants burrito ... • NBA: If Phil Jackson has any of those motivational tricks up his sleeve, now would be the time to roll those out we think. Suns 126, Lakers 98. • MLB: Hey look, Randy Johnson is back. Padres 10, Diamondbac...

The Atlanta Braves Will Happily Separate You From Your Money
So here's a novel concept: The Atlanta Braves, trying to figure out a way to sell more tickets, are allowing fans to buy tickets on a payment plan basis. If you don't have the cash to see a game, don't worry: The Braves will finance you....

The Orioles Get Their Mike Cooper And Carl Monday On
So the Orioles — yes, the Orioles — are off to a blistering start in the American League East, and the explanation can not be found in Leo Mazzone or Erik Bedard. It's in the mustache!...

We Really Need To Get Out To A NASCAR Race Soon
We've never been to a NASCAR race ... but this is pretty much always what we've imagined it's like....
