as Page 2312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Prepare For The Brain Explosion That Is The Home Run Derby
We know we got yelled at just this morning for recycling — consider the "Year Ago In Deadspin" feature toast — but it's Home Run Derby, and that means just one thing: It's the day Chris Berman lives for, and the day the rest of us pray for a quick, merciful death. (Last year, we actually watched si...
Dan Shaughnessy Needs Your Help!
A couple of months ago, everybody's favorite Curly Haired Boyfriend — credit to Simmons: No nasty emails please, Bill! — Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy release a memoir about his son's senior year of high school baseball. Whatever your thoughts on this — and we suspect you have some — the bo...
Dane Cook Is The Face Of Postseason Baseball
If you're Major League Baseball, you have a veritable cornucopia of options of whom you should choose to serve as your postseason spokesperson. You could use Tommy Lasorda, like last year, though there's always the dangerous possibility he could ask Joe Buck to show off his swirly move. You could us...
Big Weekend For NASCAR Substances
It was an active weekend in the world of NASCAR. Well, it must have been, anyway, considering we're writing about it. And they involved coke and heroin!...
Richard Gasquet Is Your Not-Gay Semifinalist
Roger Federer, staving off a surprising surge from longtime rival Rafael Nadal, won his fifth consecutive Wimbledon yesterday. (His first Wimbledon win was over that idiot on that dumb NBC reality show, by the way.) But the real winner wasn't Federer, but semifinalist Richard Gasquet, who finally ba...
The Wind Was Angry That Day, My Friends
"Help! The infield tarp has got me!" If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies' Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while taking out a restraining order on Chewbacca ... • Tennis: Federer Express ... One for the Thumb at Wimbledon. • MLB: Alex Rodriguez stages own little private home run derby in Yankees' 12-0 win over Angels. • Golf: Choi to the World ... AT&T National has a champ, and it's not T...
Do NOT ... Go In There. WOOO!
It's perfectly acceptable to vent frustration after a lousy inning of relief pitching. (Fernando Rodney does it all the time.) But here's a lesson to all those up-and-coming pitchers: if you plan to exact physical damage in the dugout bathroom after such an outing, make sure you have an escape route...
Felix Hernandez Informed By Internet That He Has Other Pitches Besides Fastball
All right, I initially highlighted the mischievousness of sports blogs to preface you all with some of the goodness sportsbloggery can achieve in life. The blog U.S.S. Mariner wrote an open letter to Seattle Mariners pitching coach Rafael Chavez, wherein he mentions how Felix Hernandez throws way to...
When Fabricated Quotes Are Taken Out Of Context
Yesterday, I mentioned in the Blogdome about how a sports talk radio show made a crucial mistake none of us seasoned sports blog readers ever do: take an Every Day Should Be Saturday post seriously. Continuing this trend, Sports Illustrated appeared to have taken a satirical riff on the NBA Draft di...
Police Find Maasive Collection Of Drugs (And One Gun)
I bet you're wondering why one person, namely former NFL player and current Fox Sports commentator Bill Maas, needs both a gun and illegal drugs and his car. You'd think one or the other would suffice for a former lineman, but it's quite simple, actually. See, the guns fend off anyone trying to take...
They Were The Games That Never End, Yes They Went On And On My Friend
Omigod, We're Gonna Be Here Forever. It's now time to discuss universal differences between men and their girlfriends regarding extra innings. When the game spills into the 10th inning, guys are usually excited that they are watching extra baseball for free. The girlfriends, meanwhile, are just tick...
About Last Night ...
• NASCAR: Jamie McMurray takes Pepsi 400 checkered flag by a bottleneck. • MLB: Rangers become hoist by the O's Bedard. Horsefly sex down 300%. • Horse Racing: Panty Raid wins Grade 1 American Oaks, several Tri-Lambdas seen with winning tickets....
A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...
One More Pittsburgh Pirates Fan Will Stake A Walkout
Earlier this year, Kevin McClatchy released the chair of Pittsburgh Pirates majority owner from his grasp. Since he was on a roll, yesterday he announced he will let go of another cherished title at the end of the year: CEO. Hey, if you love something, let it go. If it finally earns a winning season...
Maybe it's because Eric Byrnes is just too IN YOUR FACE for the studio. Maybe Fox Sports is afraid his energy and enthusiasm could, at any given moment, blow away Jeanne Zelasko's carbon-fiber wig. Either way, the Arizona Diamondbacks centerfielder, who plays analyst when his team no longer plays ba...
It's A Football Score! Get It?
Guys, We Were Closer When We Gave Up 20 Runs. Go ahead. Make the joke. "It's a football score!" Haw haw haw! Because, see, 20-14 is the kind of final score you might see in an NFL game. But you never hear the joke "Wow, maybe they were playing lacrosse!" Or, "Golly, looks like he should have hit on ...
Saturday Afternoon Stuff To Watch
12 p.m. — Drag Racing: NHRA Sportsman Series in Norwalk, Ohio [ESPN2] 12:15 p.m. — Movie: Best In Show [TBS] 1 p.m. — 2003 ALCS Game 7, Red Sox at Yankees [ESPN Classic] 3 p.m. — PGA Tour: AT&T National, Third Round [CBS] 3 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Colorado Crush at San Jose SaberCats [ESPN] ...