as Page 2363 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ah, To Be Able To Scream, Dance And Touch Athletes' Heads Again ...
This video, shot after Indiana's upset victory over Wisconsin last evening, is mostly grueling to watch, and definitely has that Blair Witch shaky-nausea feel to it. But, even though it is hated Indiana, we couldn't help but be charmed by the great college tradition of rushing the court after a big ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while bathing your dingo ... • College basketball: Indiana beats No. 2 Wisconsin, as a confused Kelvin Sampson chokes a chair and throws Neil Reid. • NBA: Hey look, Kobe's back! • NHL: Ice, ice baby ... Sundin's milestone goal is difference for Maple Leafs over Rangers....
What This Means For Us: The Chicago Bears
Way back in August, we asked various writers to preview their favorite NFL teams as the season approached. (We think the most famous was James Frey's "preview" of the Cleveland Browns.)...
Bonds Contract: Baseball's Version Of A Constitutional Crisis?
So someone took the time to actually read the contract that Barry Bonds signed with the Giants on Monday, and they made a startling discovery. According to the fine print, Bonds not only must play both ends of any doubleheaders, he must dress as Paula Abdul in the second game. Also, there's this:...
An Entirely Different Kind Of Monkey Suit
Sorry, ladies of Boston: Your hopes of bedding the youngest GM in baseball history, the man partly responsible for the Red Sox World Championship and one rockin' guitar hero are over. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein went out and got himself secretly married last month....
OJ Mayo Can Shove Refs With His Mind
We've been hearing all week about video of prep star O.J. Mayo's "incident," in which he supposedly knocked a referee over. Mayo claimed the ref was "vengeful" and that he pulled a soccer-type flop, for whatever reason....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while inventing bulletproof underpants ... • NBA: It's all about keeping the home fans happy. Mavericks win 14th straight at home, 122-102 over Sonics. • College basketball: New Mexico beats Wyoming as ... whoa! Fight! Fight! • NHL: Flames, Kings, burning, Conroy gets revenge on old ...
Forever Barry
He's 43, kind of a dick and subject to a variety of ailments, including, if you believe the horse steroids charges, laminitis. But nonetheless, Barry Bonds is officially back in the fold with the San Francisco Giants, ready to tackle Mt. Aaron once again. Whew. We were on pins and needles....
Albert Belle, Still Available
It's official, folks, if you can handle it: Sammy Sosa and the Texas Rangers have agreed on a deal. Sosa will receive $500,000 on a one-year contract and will be invited to make the team out of Spring Training. It's good to see that the new Rangers manager Ron Washington is attempting to be realisti...
He's Probably Been Waiting Outside The Studio For Weeks
We had a few people email us yesterday, mostly saying a variation on the following: "So I'm home with the flu, and it's possible that I'm just hallucinating, but I think I just saw A.J. Pierzynski as a bouncer on the 'Jerry Springer Show.' Can that be possible?"...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while constructing your oats-and-alfalfa wreath for Barbaro ... • NBA: Another buzzer-beater, as Nets beat Jazz. Exciting, ain't it? • College basketball: Pitt stops Villanova behind ... hey wait. Pitt has 20 wins already? Holy crap. • NHL: Canadiens beat Senators 3-1. Check their pa...
NBA Roundup: Raising Arizona
Notes from Sunday's games in the National Baskteball Association ......
About Last Night ...
What you missed while readjusting ... • College basketball: Iona gets a scare before finally losing as usual, preserving perfect record. • NBA: Steve Nash will not let you jinx this streak, dammit! • NHL: Not tonight, I have a Hasek ... Red Wings top Avalanche 3-1. • College basketball: Cardinal Rul...
Broken Glass! WooHoo!
Continuing with the theme of "Dunk Attempts Gone Awry," I'm happy to bring you this three-man high school effort....
In Hindsight, a Lay Up Might Have Been A Better Idea
Kansas forward Julian Wright has it all. The quick hands and anticipation on defense, the speed to get a breakaway dunk, and then, unfortunately, the spontaneous onset of quadriplegia during said dunk attempt....
College Hoops Compendium: I Hate It When UNC Is This Good
• (4) North Carolina 92, Arizona 64. Lute Olson vows to burn the game tape of this one, and if that's all he burns, it's an accomplishment, because no one would blame him if he engulfed himself in flames right about now. Arizona had lost three of their last four, but still had this date to look at ....
About Last Night...
• College Basketball. Ohio State 66, Michigan State 64. Twenty-four second half points from Drew Neitzel end up being completely inconsequential. "Neitzel" actually means "inconsequential" in Burmese. • College Football. Senior Bowl. North 27, South 0. And you still can't secede from the union. • NB...
This One's For The Cranks and Birds
Conan O'Brien, on top of his game ... and a little bit of baseball history for you, too. Pitchers and catchers report in 18 days....
Be Careful When Shaking Jason Kidd's Hand
For years, every time he went to the free throw line, Jason Kidd has blown a kiss into the air as a symbol of his love for his wife. Now that the marriage is over, though, Kidd is apparently sending the kisses somewhere that he feels needs the love a little more ... his own asshole....
ACC Admits Clock Error; Does Absolutely Nothing Else
Just to follow up quickly on the Duke/Clemson clock controversy on Thursday night, ACC officials have reviewed the tape (and here it is again, if they need any help) and after much careful consideration, have decided, "fuck it."...