as Page 2395 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Clinton Portis' Supermarket Sweep
Ever wonder what Clinton Portis might do if given $10,000 to spend in a Best Buy in the span of half an hour? Jeez, who hasn't?...
Some 1 A.M. Bowl Goodness
We're never reminded more of just how old we're getting than when we watch college freshmen play sports. Penn State kicker Kevin Kelly, we swear, has to be lying on his birth certificate; there's no way he's older than 12. The poor kid finally erased the chances he'd be a Buckner-type goat by fina...
A Match Made In ... Well, In Detroit
We were marvelling this morning at the potential news: Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions are bringing in former Saints coach Jim Haslett for a job interview. We don't necessarily think that hiring Haslett would bring the Fire Millen crowd much closer to dragging the guy out of his house and having...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while laboriously sewing an Iraq-Iran World Cup half-and-half jersey ... • Rascal Scooter Orange Bowl: Penn State finally kicks a FG to beat Florida State in three overtimes. Surprisingly, neither Joe Paterno nor Bobby Bowden die of old age in the process. • College Basketball: Novak...
Orange Bowl: A Contrast In Coaches
Everyone's making a huge deal about the coaching legends Joe Paterno and Bobby Bowden facing off in the Orange Bowl tonight. They're the two winningest coaches in Division I-A history, and they're both still going strong. It's nice when old people do well....
Ma Sweets Will Punch You In The Mouth
What kind of woman would raise a man who would wear a costume like this? What kind of woman could raise such a spawn?...
About Last Night ...
What you missed after finally waking from a long, long winter's nap ... • Fiesta Bowl: Ohio State prevails over Notre Dame, making God royally pissed. • Sugar Bowl: Steve Slaton had over a hundred yards before your hangover even began subsiding — West Virginia over Georgia. • NBA: Marbury, Knicks up...
The Real Reason For Manny's Trade Demand
We've heard all the rumors too, and Red Sox blogger Sheriff Sully finally puts the cards on the table: One of the main reasons Manny Ramirez is seeking a trade from the Red Sox, say the rumors, because his wife wants him out of Boston because of "temptations of infidelity." Says the Sheriff Sully ...
Southeast Jerome In Heaven With Friends
OK, so as we showed you yesterday, Clinton Portis brought along some pals for his press conference yesterday. The conceit was that Southeast Jerome — who had been previously considered "lost" — had died and made it to heaven with all his friends. They included:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while pimping your ride (actually, waxing the Volvo) ... • Holiday Bowl: Oklahoma upsets Oregon as another Leaf struggles in San Diego. • College Basketball: UCLA ends six-game losing streak against Stanford. Don't look now, but the Bruins are 11-1. We told you not to look! • NBA: ...
Kenny Rogers' Special Friend
Our old, dear friends at On The DL — whom will always be our best friends, because they've been nice to us from the beginning — have uncovered some excellent photos of new Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers out on the town with a lady who does not particularly resemble Mrs. Rogers. The photos — there's ...
Clinton Portis And His New Friends
We'll get into this more tomorrow ... but if you go to Redskins.com right now, you'll see that our man Clinton Portis has, uh, brought a few friends along for his weekly psychological exploration....
FSU Linebacker Accused Of Rape
Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson — linebacker prospect "No. 5B" on Mel Kiper's draft ratings — has been accused of rape. According to the Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinal, Nicholson is accused of raping a "19-year-old acquaintence" at a Broward hotel. He has been suspended by coach Bobby Bowden ...
How To Simulate Reggie Bush
Apparently, the Texas Longhorns are having a difficult time finding someone to simulate Reggie Bush on the scout team during practices....
They Must Draw 6,000 Fans, Or God Will Call Them Home
So we were watching the Illini's 89-64 victory over Southeast Missouri State last night — we have the ESPN Full Court package; you honestly do not want to know how much money we give that network — and when it was over, we flipped around the other games. It was a bad Full Court night; nothing but ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while perfecting your mime/ventriloquist act ... • NBA: Grizzlies maul Kobe, beat Lakers 100-99. • NHL: Jagr, Rangers rout Islanders, make world safe for democracy. • College Football: Nebraska beats Michigan in something called the Mastercard Alamo Bowl. Sorry, but the whole concept...
MLB, Feel The Excitement!
In typical finger-on-the-pulse fashion, MLB.com promotes the World Baseball Classic, encouraging readers to tap into the electric current of excitement by showing us ... a picture of two pasty white guys. To be fair, the guy on the left has a pretty sweater vest that is packing much funk....
Palmeiro Gets His Family Circus On
Remember during the steroid trials, when Sammy Sosa inexplicably forgot how to speak english? Rafael Palmeiro, albeit a few months late, apparently is trying to same tactic....
Scoop Jackson's Look Back
True Hoop takes on something that we've been kind of eager to sink our teeth into anyway this morning: Scoop Jackson's "Year In Review" column on ESPN Page 2. Jackson has always confused us a bit; his position as Black Columnist at ESPN has, in our opinion, allowed him to get away with continued s...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while giving the hamster a Viking funeral ... • "What do I have to do?" Carmelo Anthony's 45 points not enough as 76ers beat Nuggets. • Insight Bowl: ASU's 45-40 win over Rutgers sets all kinds of records, draws interest from Arena Football League scouts. • NHL: Osgood's 27 saves lea...