It has always seemed like Darren Rovell cherished nothing more than farting out press releases to Twitter, writing embarrassing columns, and owning himself while trying and failing to explain economics to people. But no, it appears that Darren has another, perhaps even greater, passion: Musical theater.
Darren Rovell, an AI who aims to drive Earth’s entire population insane through the banality of its observations, launched yet another attack on our psyches last night:
“Actually,” Darren Rovell probably smirked as he adjusted his bowtie before lecturing a celebratory Marvin Jones, who had just tweeted about a bakery franchise he is opening with his wife, “it’s more complicated than you think.”
ESPN sports business reporter and press-release dumpster Darren Rovell plays D like he has suddenly been stricken with scoliosis. This was true in 2016 when he flailed and yelled at Kristaps Porzingis, and it was still true this weekend when he took on AND1 Mixtape star Philip “Hot Sauce” Champion at a Hawks game.
And also, how did he take this picture?
If you merely scanned today’s Darren Rovell ESPN article on a new survey of NFL fans, you might be forgiven for coming away believing that fans are leaving in droves, turned off by the national anthem protests inspired by Colin Kaepernick. If you bothered to actually read the damn thing, you know this isn’t close to…
The Golden State Warriors just spent the first two games of the NBA Finals dominating the Cleveland Cavaliers in humiliating fashion. After sweeping through the preliminary rounds of the playoffs, and with a Finals sweep very much on the table, the Warriors have a real chance to go 4-4-4-4.
Prolific tweeting cornball Darren Rovell has a pretty cute story about Jeff Bagwell coming to his bar mitzvah on ESPN today.
This evening, at 10:21 p.m. EDT, Darren Rovell reached his terrifying final form.
Darren Rovell—a living, breathing blazer from Northwestern’s business school—is fond of tweeting out pictures. Sometimes, it’s a cake that’s shaped like a shoe, and usually it’s a piece of truly fucked up junk food from a stadium. Tonight, he posted a very well-composed picture of the Chicago White Sox’s stadium, and…
The Deadspin Awards are in July, and we need our readers to decide the winners of these prestigious honors. Today, we ask you to vote on an issue close to our hearts: Of all these bad tweets, which one was the absolute worst?
Post-human business doof Darren Rovell did some tweets tonight, like he does whenever a dollar farts. They were bad and bland in their undressed form, but Twitter user @trillballins spiced them up with dramatic vocals and now I love them. Consider this asinine joke our dude probably drafted a week ago.
ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell, a man with many unread issues of The Economist in his bathroom, has a habit of using his Twitter account to explain that all sorts of terrible things are just fine so long as capitalists can profit from them. Racism? Totally cool if the market says it is. What about the abhorrent…
Former Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones, who is currently preparing for the NFL draft, took some parting shots at the NCAA today. His criticisms have gotten much more pointed since “we ain’t come to play SCHOOL,” but the spirit is the same:
“I tweeted 171 times on Super Bowl Sunday, but at any given time on that day, I had about 250 tweets ready to go that I prepared in the months, weeks and days before the game.” That’s ESPN’s Darren Rovell, in a blog post on Medium about how he, uh, did a good job(?) on Twitter on Super Bowl Sunday—like what does it…
If you’ve ever wondered exactly what kind of “reporting” ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell does, the following tweets will be illuminating.