dwi Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Stanley Cup Finals Mule Variations
The NHL Closer is written by five octopi from Melt Your Face Off. When Al Sobotka isn't twirling us over his head, we're served with pickled ginger, green onion and mayonnaise in takoyaki. Raskolnikov emptied his ink sacs to write a recap of last night's action....
Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....
Ooof, Stars, That'll Leave a Mark
The NHL Closer is written by five checking-line centers from Melt Your Face Off. When we're not receiving praise for our work ethic, we're taking shots to kill the pain from blocking shots. Raskolnikov momentarily stopped playing along the boards to write this recap....
Here Come The Red Wings ... Duck!
The NHL Closer is written by the Five Horsemen of the Apuckalypse from Melt Your Face Off. When not poring over the Book of Revelation for clues as to how to finally take out Gary Bettman, they can be found discovering new and inventive ways to commit blasphemy, blog-style. Weed Against Speed takes ...
Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End
While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the en...
Previewing The Red Wings-Stars
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you by the five foppish gents at Melt Your Face Off. Please don't wear an ascot when a cravat is called for, or they will be right put out. LeNoceur breaks down the Western Conference Finals....
UNC's Bobby Frasor Might Hurt Himself. Again.
The man preparing to jump off the roof into that fantastic above-ground pool is, according to some college hoops bloggers, University of North Carolina point guard Bobby Frasor. He's just having some fun, blowing off steam, as classes wind down for the semester at North Carolina. No harm, really — h...
Previewing The Red Wings-Avalanche
The NHL playoffs continue tonight with the Conference Semifinals. The five degenerates over at Melt Your Face Off will preview each matchup....
The Ones Meet The Eights
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...
Man's Ashes Have More Fun Than He Ever Did
Dear tiny infant Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, "Jezus," please welcome Big George Helms (pictured here) into your Heavenly kingdom. But first, kindly bear with us as his remains take a couple of laps at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Then its over to the KFC drive-thru, and then straig...
Derek Anderson Leaves Browns For Free Agency, Signs With Browns
I'm picturing the scene from Meet The Parents where a dejected Ben Stiller stands in an empty terminal and must wait his turn to board the airplane, thanks to the by-the-book airline employee who has yet to call his row. "Please step aside, sir."...
Sean Salisbury, Moving On Down That Road, Man
To the casual ESPN viewer, it must have seemed confusing that Sean Salisbury, the former Vikings quarterback who once actually sported a fade, would be one of the most prominent NFL analysts on the world's biggest sports media enterprise. Sean Salisbury? That guy? Really?...
Brent Petway Wants To Take Down Dwight Howard
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm has all of our NBA Development League coverage. Today, he talked to Brent Petway, former Michigan Wolverine and champion of the D-League's dunk contest, about how he wants to challenge Dwight Howard....
Acorns In The Digestive Tract
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Dr. Lawyer Indian Chief....
From Octopussies To Go Wings Gonads
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
Dwight Howard Saves Your Dunk Contest
Finally the right man wins the dunk contest. This is what happens when you don't allow Michael Jordan to be a judge, even if Darryl Dawkins is perhaps his equal in hateration. Howard stole the show in what many are saying was one of the best dunk contests ever, if at least in recent memory....
Whither Sports Unfiltered With Dennis Miller?
There's nothing sadder than a big blank space where your cable show's programming schedule used to be. Exactly what fate has befallen Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller, the Versus series that made America fall in love with elephant polo references once again? It's a mystery (for some reason, Vers...
An Athlete Magazine Goes Bankrupt. Really.
Overtime Magazine is a monthly — kind of — magazine devoted to "helping professional athletes manage their money." You know what that means: They're broke!...
Why Do We Deny The Awesomeness Of The Red Wings?
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
Your Prayers For More Carlos Mencia Have Been Answered
When someone convinces Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas to reprise their Bob and Doug MacKenzie characters for a beer ad, that's when I'll get excited about a Super Bowl commercial. Until then we've got Carlos Mencia, who will be featured in a Bud Light Super Bowl spot this year. Hey, where's everybody ...