ew Page 2889 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Final Jamboroo And The Art Of Being A Sports Fan Without Watching Sports
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Well, until today, anyway....

This Should Cause The Mets No PR Problems Whatsoever
Pitchers and catchers haven't even begun packing, but the first sensational storyline of spring training is already here. Pedro Martinez: Cock Fighter! (As first reported by Home Run Derby.) PETA officials are sharpening their talons and animal activists are massing at the Florida border as we speak...

Light Dawns On The Patriots
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!
Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his fin...

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'
Ah, Victor Thompson. Poor dumb sap. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there; tattoos are permanent, but football winning streaks are not. Sure, it was all fun and games when he decided to get the Patriots logo etched into both sides of his skull earlier this season. What could possibly go wro...

Giants Fans Celebrate Tiki As Well
Reader Matthew Ott headed down to the Giants' Super Bowl ticker-tape parade in Lower Manhattan yesterday and found a guy after our own heart. The "uncensored" photo after the jump. Lots of work went into that sign, clearly....

Analyzing Belichick's Insane Decision Not To Kick
Of all the oddities during Super Bowl XLII, the one that might stick, and the one that might hurt the reputation of Patriots coach Bill Belichick the most, was his decision to go for it instead of sending kicker Stephen Gostkowski out for a 49-yard field goal. That doesn't look good when you lose a ...

Whining About Patriots' Loss Now A Greater Threat Than Global Warming
So this is somewhat amusing. According to Amani Toomer, before the game on Sunday Patriots' players were inviting him to their victory parties. "They were inviting us to their parties after the game," Toomer said. "They showed us no respect." Meanwhile, Tom Brady has dropped out of the Pro Bowl (exp...

Bobby Knight Drinks Your Milkshake! He Drinks It Up!
So Bobby Knight is talking about his decision to resign at Texas Tech, telling the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal that he wanted to give his son, Pat, a running start as head coach. Whether that's true or not, we're left to grapple with the aftermath. And in a weird way, it helps that the film There Will...

The Giants Celebrate Their Title An Hour Away (In Traffic) From Their Home Field
Tons of people headed to lower Manhattan today to cheer on a team from New Jersey. It's nice to see Eli so nattily dressed. That guy's gonna get cool yet!...

Boy, Did You Ever Miss A Barnburner At MSG Last Night
So, if there were ever a day for the Knicks to finally get fed up with Isiah Thomas and end this madness, today would seem like a good one....

Sen. Specter Is Hardly Mr. Pure, Impartial Judgment Guy
You might have thought Sen. Arlen Specter was going after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and the New England Patriots because he's an Eagles fan. (And because he is, generally, rather cranky.) Turns out he might have some ulterior motives....

Mr. T Pities Fools, Miami Heat
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not admiring this Rik Smits wallpaper, he can be found country line dancing at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • At least he's in Barkley's Fav...

Patriots Fans Cry The Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness
As you may have imagined, folks are having a bit of fun with the Super Bowl result, Photoshop-wise. Following are some of this morning's more interesting efforts. I have to admit, I chuckled at most of them. And by the way ... if you happen to come across this, it isn't a Photoshop. These books are ...

How That Felt: New York Giants
Last week, Peter Schrager of Fox Sports wrote about the excitement of having his beloved Giants in the Super Bowl. You can imagine how he feels today....

Boston Fans, Still Struggling The Day After
After reading Bill Simmons' magnanimous column this morning, we were began to feel vaguely sympathetic to Boston fans. (Though the biggest revelation from his column is that, had the Patriots won, Simmons had set up to hang out with Tom Brady in his private entourage party room afterwards. The Gia...

All Hail Tiki Barber, Maker Of Omelets
At this point, it's pretty much clear: The New England Patriots might have lost, but the person who comes across the worst in the wake of the upset is clearly Tiki Barber. Pity....

I Love You Sweeeeaaaatshirt! (Red Hooded) Sweeeeeeaaaatshirt
What they're saying from the Patriots' perspective about the New York Giants' 17-14 win over New England in Super Bowl XLII ......

Giants Win! New York Is Very Drunk Right Now! Weee!
What they're saying from the Giants' perspective about New York's 17-14 win over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLII ......
