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Welcome Newcastlers!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Marty Brodeur Is Happy Again
We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week....

Hornets Cancel Dallas' Dynasty
Nobody can quite explain why the Hornets franchise has been unable to beat the Dallas Mavericks since 1999. Experts agree one factor might be that in those games, the Hornets were unable to score more points than the Mavericks. Others blame global warming. Others still claim that last night the Horn...

A Wagon Fulla Channels? For The Champeenship?
• In Progress — MAC Championship: Central Michigan-Miami U. [ESPN2] • 12 noon — Army-Navy [CBS] • 12 noon — C-USA Championship: Central Florida-Tulsa [ESPN] • 12 noon — NCAA Basketball: Duke-Davidson [ESPNU] • 1 p.m. — ACC Championship: Boston College-Virginia Tech [ABC] • 1:30 p.m. — Movie: Jingle ...

Lou Holtz - 60 Years = Jason Krause
Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on ...

Fun With Knicks' Math
• R.I.P., Sean Taylor. • Enough, Eli, enough. • We miss Saturday NFL too. • Pau Gasol poops. • The Daily Illini rules. • The Patriots could possibly lose. Possibly. • The Bob Knight Gun Show • God, we love Canada. • Bill Conlin would like you to get off his lawn. • Covering the Knicks is miserable. ...

Dissecting Captain Crazy
Watching the Knicks these days is a brutal, glorious experience; last night's loss to the Celtics was the nadir in a season full of them. And the centerpiece of the madness is, of course, Stephon Marbury, the Tracy Jordan of the NBA. He's mesmerizing; we can't look away....

When Ya Gotta Go ...
Sometimes, the call of nature is so powerful that it cannot be overcome. We know. We've been there. You might be in an inconvenient location, but whaddya gonna do? Just ask Kansas State forward Bill Walker....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......


Oh, This Is Just Sad
So it's at this point in the Knicks' season where we hear the band leader say "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure and an honor playing with you," and then, as the ship creaks and begins its slow descent into the sea, they play the final hymn of "Nearer My God to Thee." (Later Fred Jones will be found f...

The Patriots Need A Theme Song
Determined to ruin a good thing, the Boston Globe somehow decided that the Patriots need a theme song. The easy way to do this would be to search through Tom Brady's iTunes folder until something clicks (Huey Lewis and the News!), but no, the Globe is putting it up to a vote. Poems, slogans and Chri...

Jamboroo, Week 13: Where The F—k Are My December NFL Saturdays?
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

The Patriots Aren't The Same Without Troy Brown
Today, we thank Bill Belichick for adding the one ingredient this otherwise-inspirational Patriots team has been missing: Troy Brown is back!...

The Raw Joy Of The Covering The New York Knicks
We know: The life of a beat reporter is a glamorous, joyous one. Every night is like a private party in which there are unicorns and rainbows. But when you're a Knicks beat reporter, you're living the life fantastic....

Perhaps It's Time To Let Eli Manning Go
OK, let's all just get together and agree on this, so we don't have to unduly pick on the guy: Eli Manning isn't any good. Like, at all. Obviously, his last name has offered him "potential" status long past the expiration date, but we think all of us, along with Eli himself, would be a lot happier i...

Eat Ice, Evil Doers!
In Canada, it's never too early to teach the fundamentals of the national sport, even to eight-year-olds. Inside and outside edges, skating backward, forward crossovers, and if there's a scuffle on the ice you go over the boards and get in a few good shots, son!...