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Derrick Rose Actually Sprained <em>Both</em> His Ankles Last Night
Turns out Derrick Rose left last night's game not due to just one sprained ankle, but both! ...

Derrick Rose Knocked Out Of Game Due To Injury, Again
We insist this is not a repeat: Derrick Rose left tonight's game against the Cavaliers after suffering an injury on the court....

Suns Pranked By Old "Dinosaur In The Arena" Trick
Completely blowing the Flyers' Halloween prank out of the water, the Suns' Goran Dragic teamed up with one of those animatronic dinosaur puppets to scare the crap out of his teammates. Please be sure fast-forward to 3:15 for the Morris twins; even the gif can't do it justice....

Cubs Fire Rick Renteria After One Season, Admit He Got Fucked
After Joe Maddon unexpectedly left the Tampa Bay Rays, the Cubs worked quickly to cut a deal and bring him on. Current skipper Rick Renteria, a baseball lifer in his first-ever major league managing gig, got the shaft, and president Theo Epstein admitted as much in today's press release....

The Kings Introduced The Warriors With The <em>Full House</em> Theme
Visiting teams are used to getting booed during the introductions of their starting lineups. So maybe, the Sacramento arena crew figured, they might be thrown off by getting laughed at. At Wednesday's opener, they cued up the Full House theme music to welcome the Bay Area squad....

Bradley Wright-Phillips Scores 90th-Minute Goal, Puts Red Bulls Past KC
Sporting KC's season is over after Bradley Wright-Phillips scored in the 90th minute to put his New York Red Bulls into the MLS Eastern Conference semifinals....

Michael Jordan Keeps It Real, Calls Barack Obama A "Shitty Golfer"
Michael Jordan still doesn't give any fucks, for those wondering. He'll call out Barack Obama for being a shitty golfer and shrug it off, as if Obama were nothing more than another in a long line of LaBradford Smiths....

No, Alex Gordon Could Not Have Scored On The Misplayed Ball
Alex Gordon's ninth-inning, two-out single left Kansas City with the tying run 90 feet from home plate thanks to Gregor Blanco's colossal misplay in the outfield. Some, however, have begun the hand-wringing that maybe Gordon could have scored, had he sprinted the entire way and been sent from thir...

What Was This "God Bless America" Performance?
We assume MSgt. Jennifer Sherman is who she says she is, which puts her a step up from previous "God Bless America" singers. But her interesting take on the seventh-inning showtune left the nation a bit baffled:...

Report: Joe Maddon To Manage The Cubs
Well, that happened pretty quickly. It's been less than a week since Joe Maddon left the Tampa Bay Rays in the dust, and he's already found himself a new job managing the Chicago Cubs, according to Jon Heyman of CBS Sports....

Luis Suárez Is All The Way Back
Like, c'mon. This shouldn't be legal. Sure, it's only the Catalan Supercup, but Espanyol are a real team and Luis Suárez still had to juke the defender out of his shorts before chipping an outrageous pass onto the head of Gerard Piqué. Here's the vine:...

Report: Gordie Howe Suffered "Serious" Stroke
Red Wings legend Gordie Howe suffered a stroke early Sunday morning in Texas, according to The Detroit News. Howe, 86, is now out of the hospital and recuperating in Lubbock at his daughter's house. His son told the paper that, while Howe is having significant physical issues, his mind is doing bett...

Warriors Owner Blames "Hoodish" Email On Autocorrect
Golden State co-owner Peter Guber has sort-of apologized for an team-wide email he sent yesterday in which he seemingly joked that he had to learn "hoodish" to speak to some Warriors players. And by "apologized," I mean "offered an excuse that makes no sense."...

The Warriors Might Actually Play Some Offense This Year. Thank God.
You'd think the mere presence of a shooter and playmaker like Steph Curry would guarantee you a top 10 offense. Last year, you would've thought wrong. Despite surrounding Curry with Klay Thompson, Swiss Army Knife Andre Iguodala, and a couple of skilled big men in David Lee and Andrew Bogut, Mark Ja...

Video Emerges Of Diego Maradona Hitting His Former Fiancée
According to Spanish paper El Mundo, the above video depicts Diego Maradona hitting his ex-girlfriend, the 24-year-old Rocío Oliva. Here’s one Argentine TV station’s translation of the argument as it unfolds in the video:...

Legalize Josh Gordon
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
![Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Lamarr Houston Injures Self Celebrating Sack While Getting Blown Out [Update]
Bears defensive end Lamarr Houston joined Stephen Tulloch on the list of idiots who injured themselves celebrating a sack this season. It's made worse by the fact Chicago is down 25 points to the Patriots, and that Houston's sack came against New England's rookie backup quarterback....

Neymar Scores Just Three Minutes Into <em>El Clásico</em>
The Ray Hudson orgasm engine cranked up early as beautiful midfield play led to a perfect opportunity for Neymar to put Barcelona up 1-0 on Real Madrid three minutes and change into the match....

PGA President Fired For Calling Ian Poulter "Lil Girl" On Twitter
PGA president Ted Bishop was canned today after bickering with English golfer Ian Poulter on Twitter yesterday and calling him a "lil girl."...