go Page 534 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Beards Caressed In Sensuous Slow-Motion
Jonny Gomes earned a facial hair-fondling on account of his home run last night that proved to be the game-winner. And, really, who on the Red Sox is more befitting of the beard than Gomes? He was likely born bearded. ...
Check Out Clint Dempsey's First Goal With Sounders FC
Clint Dempsey notched his first goal with Seattle Sounders FC by finishing Lamar Neagle's cross with a deft tap from the outside of his right foot. It was Dempsey's first MLS goal since 2006, back in his days with the New England Revolution. Deuce's simple finish gave his side a 1-0 lead....
Luis Suárez Scores Hat Trick, Is Just Toying With People Now
Liverpool are playing West Brom today in what was supposed to be a competitive match. After all, West Brom have already beaten Manchester United at Old Trafford and outplayed league leaders Arsenal at times in a draw, so you gotta think they might have what it takes to challenge Liverpool. They do n...
Lightning Defensemen Combine For Humiliating Own Goal
The timing couldn't have been worse. With 1:49 left in regulation, just 40 seconds after the Lightning had taken the lead on the defending champ Blackhawks, Matt Carle inexplicably and forcefully fired a pass back at Radko Gudas. It deflected off a surprised Gudas's skate, skittering past Ben Bishop...
Vodka Samm: "I Didn't Come To College To Drink And Be Vodka Samm"
Vodka Samm has spoken....
Greg Oden Dunked!
It was just four minutes in a preseason game, but those four minutes were Greg Oden's first NBA action in nearly four years. He had one bucket, a dunk on Al-Farouq Aminu, and was able to walk back up the court under his own power....
Greg Oden Has Been Sighted Playing Professional Basketball
Tonight perpetual pine-rider Greg Oden, who was picked ahead of Kevin Durant in the 2007 NBA Draft, logged his first minutes in an NBA game since 2009. The Heat put him on the floor for almost four solid minutes. Oden, who was picked ahead of a guy who has scored more than 12,000 points in 460 caree...
Zlatan Ibrahimovic Opens Wormhole With Ridiculous Strike
Please, Zlatan, we have accepted you as Soccer God, do not use your powers for evil!...
Steve Kerr's Story About Toni Kukoc's Pregame Ritual Is Wonderful
Here's Steve Kerr telling a story about his former Bulls teammate, Toni Kukoc, that makes Kukoc sound like the most European man to have ever existed. I think it's safe to say that the world needs more stories about Toni Kukoc....
Giant Pigeon Spies On Oregon Football Practice
Oregon's athletic video department says its "new pigeon friend" was simply an ordinary pigeon that parked itself in front of a remote camera high above Autzen Stadium. But we know the truth. We know no one in Eugene is willing to say anything that might anger their new pigeon overlords....
Northwestern Walk-On Receives Full Scholarship, Hugs From Entire Team
Senior guard James Montgomery has spent two years walking on for Northwestern, getting a grand total of 124 minutes. But new head coach Chris Collins has apparently been so taken with Montgomery's effort in practices, he called a team meeting to announce that Montgomery will be receiving a full sch...
Report: Texans Rookies Were Released For Smoking Weed
ESPN's Tania Ganguli is reporting that Cierre Wood, Sam Montgomery, and Willie Jefferson—the three Houston Texans rookie who were unceremoniously cut from the team yesterday—were released because they were caught smoking weed in a hotel room. [Exaggerated wanking motion]....
"I Am Not Sure If You Are Actually An Asshole": Tales Of Parking In The City
Reader Jon shares this note, left on the windshield of his Ford Explorer Friday morning. It's from a neighbor who takes issue with Jon's park job....
Report: Houston Texans Cut Three Players After Incident In Hotel Room
Either Cierre Wood, Sam Montgomery, and Willie Jefferson were doing some seriously crazy shit in a Kansas City hotel room this weekend, or Gary Kubiak fancies himself a bit of a Schiano Man. There's really no other way to explain why all three players were released from the Houston Texans' roster th...
Did CBS Spike An NFL Storyline On <em>The Good Wife</em>?
Two weeks ago, the co-creators of the CBS show, The Good Wife, sat on a New Yorker Festival panel called "Television and Politics." At one point, they were asked if they envied the freedom granted their cable counterparts. Michelle King, sitting next to her husband and Good Wife co-creator, Robert...
Oregon Fan Really, Really Didn't Like The Ducks Wearing Pink
I thought it was a pretty cool look, if maybe somewhat overplayed. But when Oregon suited up with pink helmets, gloves, socks, and shoes, one fan felt he had to call GoDucks.com editor Rob Moseley and leave a voicemail with his complaints:...
Oregon Coach Sorry For Calling Out Mike Leach's "Low-Class Bullshit"
Washington State quarterback Connor Halliday set the FBS record for most pass attempts in a game on Saturday in a blowout loss to Oregon. He did it despite the game being all but over, and Ducks defensive coordinator Nick Aliotti was pissed at WSU coach Mike Leach for making it happen. "Total bullsh...
The BCS Standings Are Out
Despite Oregon being No. 2 in both the Harris and Coaches Polls (and the AP poll), the computers give the slimmest of edges to Florida State. That puts the Seminoles in pole position for the BCS Championship, but winning out probably won't be enough....