i Page 7645 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pistons Lose Despite Home Court, Insane Fans
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's hoping that Spring will eventually come to Chicago. Not that 40-degree weather isn't fun...in, like, December. When he's not hating the hell out of the Midwestern weather, he can be found doing a sunshine dance at Basketbawful. Enjoy! There's no place...
Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...
About Last Night...
What you missed re-creating the chase scene from Space Mutiny... • NBA: Yeah, well, Boston still hasn't won two road games yet. • NHL: Son of Samuel goes on massive scoring spree, dozens wounded, Red Wings at large with 4-0 win. • MLB: Cubs won the first eight innings. Problem is, the dang thing wen...
Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while shopping around for once-in-a-lifetime deals on infants... • 7:30 p.m. — NASCAR: Nationwide Series, Conquest Auto Parts 300, Concord, N.C. Watch your favorite drivers in different numbered cars wail on lesser drivers! [ESPN2] • 8:00 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. The fact...
Sonics Ownership Seems To Be Unable To Delete Old E-Mails
Any mail client has it. Trash can. Deleted items. They all call it something different, but my God, it's right there. A half-terrabyte of data doesn't mean you save every freakin' Twitter message that comes your way. The Seattle Supersonics management might have gotten away with merely being hated i...
For The Spurs, It's All About Moral Victories
• How Tim Duncan successfully returns a pair of pants. [Food Court Lunch] • I wasn't expecting a sports joke here. [McSweeney's] • Mitch Williams: "Yo." [The 700 Level] • Nothing beats old timey baseball. [Walkoff Walk] • Sure, Mike Piazza can hit, but he can't slide. [Fire Joe Morgan] • Don't say y...
Gary Carter Wonders If He Should Let The Mets Know He Wants To Manage Them
Willie Randolph could very well be Art Howe-ing his way out of a job in New York, but what's kind of important is the fact that he still has employment with the Mets. That hasn't stopped Gary Carter, who's currently managing an independent minor league team in California, to start inquiring about wh...
Hello, Barber, I Think I'd Like The 'Hobo Antennae' Today
I'm very hesitant to say the soccer season is over, because I know one of Deadspin's readers will chime in and correct me with, "How silly of you ignorant Americans to forget about the Antarctic World Cup, and it's called football, unlike your football, where you don't even use your feet!" And they'...
Wait, They Traded Blue Moon Odom?
It's not very gratifying to be traded for an inanimate object. Unless my ex-girlfriend breaking up with me so she could spend more time with her vibrator counts, I have no idea what it must feel like to be traded for 10 baseball bats....
Spurs-Lakers: First Blood, Part II
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to get a very bad feeling about these playoffs. A very bad feeling. When he's having nightmares about another Lakers championship, he can be found crafting Kobe Bryant voodoo dolls at Basketbawful. Enjoy! When you're pushed, killin's as easy...
At Least One Jew Went On To Become A Video Game Superhero
There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation behind my false sense of superiority. I blame today's retro video game pick, Solomon's Key. You see, every five levels or so were grouped together by a sign of the Zodiac. It started with Aries and moved forward. Aquarius, my birth mascot, was one of...
It's Delicious, It's Flavorful, It's The Everything Closer
See this everything bagel? No, you can't eat it. After all, it's just on a computer screen, and that would be foolish, even for you. Although your request to take a bite right now lets me know that you, too, believe in the power of the everything bagel. So today we're going to channel that untapped ...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching the most realistic portrayal of Helen Keller ever…...
Commence Memorializing In An Approrpriate Manner Right Now
• Barkley admits he has a gambing problem. Kind of. • Softball ladies no longer have to resemble Drew Carey • Bill Simmons continues to fulminate • Chris Cooley: Almost married man • Basketbawful has been killing the NBA playoff coverage • Minor Enterprise is definitely hitting its stride • He...
Souvenirs, Novelties, Party Tricks
We've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. We even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, we just can't bring our wife to orgasm....
Vince Young Is Doing It For The Kids, You See
Well, this is exciting. Tennessee Titans quarterback and part-time shirtless dancing zombie has come out and apologized for those photos that popped up online last week. Young explained himself to the throngs of Tennessee media after practice on Thursday....
A Strictly Business-Like Examination Of The Women's French Open Contenders And Their Respective Tawdry Photos
For those of you out there who are fans of yellow fuzzy balls bouncing off of clay courts, the French Open at Roland Garros begins this weekend. This is the favorite surface of Rafael Nadal and his exposed biceps, but those types of examinations can be found elsewhere online....
Perhaps One Of These Men Could Fight Jose Canseco
I'm having a tough time figuring out whether these photos of terrifying looking bodybuilders are actual real-live human beings or the product of some sort of anti-steroid ad campaign. If these men were racehorses, they'd probably snap their ankles on the way to the urinal and have to be euthanized....