i Page 7646 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Chance For All Your Spurs Bile
Either the world of NBA fans is going to collectively groan and try to work themselves up for yet another Spurs playoff series tonight ... or the Spurs' assault on our senses will perhaps finally end. Fingers crossed....
I'm Doing It For You, Big Brown!
I won't lie; it's hard to be upbeat with Ted Kennedy still in the hospital. But to lift your spirits, here's something the Senator from Massachusetts no doubt would have attempted, had he been 40 years younger and on the infield at Pimlico on Sunday. Will this brave fan's attempted leap from one por...
Have The Jazz Passed Jerry Sloan By?
• Should the Jazz lose Jerry Sloan? [With Malice] • The Padres' season is really going well, isn't it? [Rumors And Rants] • Terrell Owens ... on ACTING! (Lovitz!) [The 700 Level] • You, too, can impersonate a soccer coach, and get paid for the privilege. [The Beautiful Game] • How to act at the gym....
Could This Guy Be The NBA's Rally Monkey?
We can't thank The Sports Hernia enough for this beautiful photo of a Celtics fan drawing unnecessary attention to his own toupee. We've always taken a lot of pride in our ability to spot toupees ... but this one required no specific expertise....
Media Approval Ratings: Chris Berman
Even though we've been accused of having some sort of vendetta against Chris Berman in the past, we can honestly say that's not even close to true. We still (mostly) enjoy him on "NFL Primetime," or the "Blitz," or whatever the hell they call that now. He, during our first six months of existence,...
Bill Simmons Is Enjoying His "Rebellious" Status
Ever since his gauntlet-throwing interview with us last week, Bill Simmons has been doodling with his blogspot page. Amusingly, he seems to be drawing a parallel between himself and Tom Cruise's character in The Firm....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Yankee Stadium Looks To Be Going Down Without A Fight
Just to follow up on what Rick was saying earlier ... we don't think we're gonna have much reason to write about the Yankees too much longer. Once that All-Star Game is over, and we'll just have the Yankee Stadium elegies ... and then we can all go back to our lives. The Yankees looked deader than ...
Big Brown Wins Preakness, Thinks, "Boy, I Am Hungry"
Look. This is Big Brown. This is a horse. We suppose Big Brown is a good-looking, as far as horses go, though we're not sure, from this angle, if we could possibly tell the difference between Big Brown and any other horse on the planet that wasn't, you know, a zebra....
Penguins Return Home For Game Five, Get Back In The Habit
The NHL Closer is written by the five pillars of piety from Melt Your Face Off. When not serving the needy, sick, poor and uneducated, they can be found sneaking sips from the Baptismal Font. Weed Against Speed somehow got his hands on the keys to the Popemobile, so let's take this sucker out for a ...
Mets Live Again After Feeding On Yankees' Corpse
Those who live there would know better than I, but doesn't there seem to be a weighty, menacing cloud hovering over the Yankees these days? That's your last-place New York Yankees, who lost to the Metropolitans, 11-2, on Sunday to complete a two-game sweep. Is Oliver Perez supposed to be beating Chi...
The Truth Really <em>Does</em> Hurt. Just Ask LeBron and The Cavaliers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who watched some legendary basketball yesterday. When he's not being really freaking impressed by Paul Pierce and LeBron James, he can be found being...really freaking impressed by Paul Pierce and Lebron James at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching the topless news ... • NBA: The crowd down at Cheers are still celebrating this one ... except for Norm, who's in the crapper. Celtics 97, Cavaliers 92. • NHL: Bow before our flightless, herring-breathed overlords. Penguins 6, Flyers 0. • Auto racing: I misunderstood ....
Red Would Have Enjoyed That
The Celtics pulled out another game seven win meaning that LeBron James will not have a chance to defend Cleveland's Eastern Conference title. Paul Pierce was the man for Boston with 41 points on 13-23 from the field and some big free throws down the stretch to seal a 97-92 win....
'Boxing After Dark' Delivers
Yuriorkis Gamboa might have a bit of work left to do in the gym, but last night's unanimous decision over Darling Jimenez showed why so many people believe he'll soon sit atop his division. Continue after the jump for some thoughts on last night's triple header....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while warming up the grill for a cheese race... • MLB: New York Yankees vs. New York Mets. Yep, plenty of erections in Bristol tonight. [ESPN] • Movie: Knocked Up. That's way too many chairs for one room. [HBO] • Sports Movie: Bang the Drum Slowly. Shouldn't there be a Hornets game ton...
Fun At the Preakness
Near as anyone could tell, today's game of beer-can volleyball broke out when someone flung a brew from on top of an outhouse. That, the surrounding masses realized, looked like jolly good fun. And soon the sky filled with silver-and-foam, the silver signifying surprisingly heavy vessels of lite bee...
Jay Bruce Needs A Nickname
• He could also use a big league roster spot. [Bus League Baseball] • Can you really put a price on Big Brown's ejaculate? [Insomniac's Lounge] • Not good times for Will Allen. [100% Injury Rate] • Salisbury University could use a good lacrosse goalie. [Busted Coverage] • I've been trying to not thi...
The Second Round Is Almost Over
The Boston Celtics are set to host their second game seven of the playoffs, having successfully defended home court in each game of the post-season. If the Cleveland Cavaliers are going to buck the trend it's going to take a special performance from LeBron James, or at least some help from the refer...
Jelena Is Excitable
Jelena Jankovic defeated the unseeded Alizé Cornet in straight sets to retain her title in the Italian Open before celebrating with a bit of champagne....