i Page 7647 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...
Weep Not For John Terry
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Beware The Handrails Of Death
It appears there is no more a dangerous threat at the ballpark than staircases or escalators. If 2001 was famously called the "Summer Of The Shark," after numerous Floridians smelling like chum or dressed in seal costumes were chomped, this 2008's TV news fear bait might be "Spring Of The Handrail."...
Chris Cooley-ooley-ooley-o Is Making All Men Look Silly
Redskin Chris Cooley's nuptials are happening this Friday, and what better way to express his joyfulness and show off his hot-ass soon-to-be wife than post a long, heartfelt story about his pending marriage at the House That Mottram Built....
Marlins Break Brandon Webb's Evil Spell
Somewhere in a third-world country, a child is wearing a Brandon Webb 10-0 t-shirt. It looks rather spiffy with his Patriots 19-0 Super Bowl hat, and his New Orleans Hornets foam No. 1 finger. To beat the most unbeatable of pitchers on Wednesday, Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez called for the most de...
San Antonio Duncan And The Fourth Quarter Of Doom
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was very moved by Ray Allen's love letter to his missing jump shot. Let's hope those two crazy kids can make it work. When he's not making Fruity Pebbles a part of his well-balanced and nutritious breakfast, he can be found tormenting the Trix rabbit at ...
About Last Night
What you missed while incorrectly calling "shotgun" ... • NBA: Spurs blow 20-point lead in Game 1 loss to Lakers, also lose car keys and wallet. • MLB: Everything's coming up Red Sox ... Bartolo Colon is back, and pitching well. Boston 6, Kansas City 3. • Soccer: I don't know a lot about soccer, but...
Those Houston Astros Are Quietly Having A Pretty Good Season
And let's just start to set the bar incredily low early to kick off the Memorial Day Weekend by linking to Astros' centerfielder Hunter Pence's lady friend. According to BumpShack (that's where it's at), the woman's name is Terri B, who appears to be eligible for her inclusion on this site because...
Rick Sutcliffe Returns To Announcing Booth More Sober, Cancer-Free
Tonight is a monumental moment for those who enjoy Rick Sutcliffe's smooth, honest, and, sometimes, absolutely shit-faced baseball analysis, as he returns to ESPN studios to be the colorman for the Atlanta Braves-New York Mets game. Sutcliffe's been out of commission after battling colon cancer, but...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your $30 TV dinner ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Edner Cherry vs. Stevie Johnston; lightweights, Freddie Norwood vs. Johnnie Edwards, at Camp Lejeune, N.C. (9 p.m., ET). What? Isn't this a Marine Corps base? [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta (7 p.m., ET). Big Mets' res...
Okay, That Was Kind Of Exciting
Mr. Hirshey will have a much more comprehensive and aritculate wrap-up of the Champions League, um...championship?...tomorow, but, for now, this photo will have to suffice....
Has Jason Taylor Cha-Cha'd His Way Out Of Miami?
According to the latest reports, it appears the Miami Dolphins no longer want any part of defensive end Jason Taylor's suggestive dance moves or his football abilities ever again....
A Hump Day Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful can't make the Spurs-Lakers series new and interesting, but he can tell you what to watch out for when these two horror move monsters go head-to-head....
We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey
We're taking a couple more days off at the end of this week — Friday's a half day anyway, and the whole site is taking Memorial Day off — so we're using to do something we've never done before: We're going to Europe. Actually, we're going to France. Yes, yes, we know: Everybody point and laugh....
Bill Simmons Continues Passive-Aggressive Swipes At ESPN Via Blogspot
As fascinatingly silly as this whole Bill Simmons online temper tantrum is — plus the inevitable change of direction Page 2 must undertake should he no longer write for them — it's getting pretty hilarious how conspicous he's being about being pissed off at (supposedly) ESPN.com ....
Latina Mary Pickford, First Lady Of The Cagers
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Obama's High School First In SI Survey. No Mention Of Ridgemont High
Barack Obama's high school, Punahou of Hawaii, was recently chosen as the school with the top athletic program in the nation by Sports Illustrated. This angered Hillary Clinton, who attended Maine East High in Parkridge, Ill., and John McCain, who was educated through oral tradition and cave drawin...
Another Reason For Stern To Fix The Western Conference Finals
At this point, the adage that "David Stern doesn't want a Spurs-Pistons final" has become so commonplace as to become tired. But if you live in a world that pretends that Nielsen boxes actually mean anything — because no one's ever met anyone with a Nielsen box and you could track actual viewing pat...
MLB.tv Now Selling You More Stuff
MLB.tv, for which we pay $110 annually, introduced a new feature on its games yesterday: House ads for MLB.tv, played in-between innings, imploring fans to "keep watching." Well, OK, we'll keep watching, as long as you promise the games are coming back on. They are, right? OK, cool: The watching sha...