i Page 7666 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a man in a gorilla suit steals your pants ... • Horse racing: Preakness post position draw, at Baltimore (5 p.m., ET). Do not bother me for the next two hours! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Philadelphia (7 p.m., ET). Bring me the head of the Phillie Phanatic. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Co...
Reggie Miller Does Not Believe In Shot Glasses Or Belvedere
Yes, that's former Indiana Pacers sharpshooter Reggie Miller filling the mouth of what appears to be a very thirsty woman with a few fingers of Grey Goose....
Not Quite A Mark McGwire Sighting, But Close
It's been a while since we've seen Mark McGwire. Wait ... was that him at that Obama rally yesterday? OK, no, that wasn't him. But admit it: You wouldn't be surprised if he looked like this now....
Prepare Thyself For Impending Debut Of Barbaro's Brother. Oy
Just because you have a famous brother doesn't mean that you will approach the heights of greatness yourself, as anyone who has seen a Daniel Baldwin movie will readily attest. We've previously written about Barbaro's younger brother, of course, but now the horse — named Nicanor — is ready to make ...
NBA Playoffs: A Wednesday Night Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful is here to do the Hump-day Hump. Which isn't as dirty as it sounds. Unless giving you tonight's NBA playoff preview can be considered pornographic....
Enough, Already, With The "Unwritten Rules" Of Baseball
Goose Gossage says you can't show joy when you do something positive. You can't bunt to end a no-hitter. If their guy throws even close to your guy, you have to throw closer to his guy. In the fourth inning, everyone has to do an Indonesian Dance Of Skulls before tapping his left ear twice. These "u...
The Briny Ballers Achieve A Left-Columner
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Who's Quitting Now? Annika Sorenstam, Among Others
Now this is the way to quit. Simple announcement, no ambiguity, definite schedule for withdrawal. Annika Sorenstam, who announced on Tuesday that she's leaving the LPGA Tour at the end of the season, is employing an exit strategy the Bush Administration is envying. Oh, and you can also bet that she'...
Crazy Artist Guy Combines Michael Vick And Another Horse
You might remember last year, when a talented artist combined Michael Vick and Barbaro, causing us to spontaneously combust. Well, that artist is back, this time honoring the "great" Eight Belles....
Baseball's Flourishing Again ... Let's Expand!
The notion of "contraction," back when Major League Baseball was going to eliminate the Expos, the Twins, both, neither, somebody, seems kind of quaint now. MLB is raking in cash, and pretty much every team at least has the ability to compete. The Marlins and the Rays are in first, the Yankees are ...
Has Troubled Joe Phillips Resurfaced Online?
Most of us not in the Kansas City-area probably heard first about former Chiefs' defensive lineman Joe Phillips' troubles through the fascinating HBO Real Sports segment from last January titled "Family Burden." The story focused on a handful of wives of ex-NFL players going through hard times physi...
Simmons: "Certain Promises Were Not Kept"
We're not the only ones who noticed that Bill Simmons hasn't written a column in two weeks — until today, anyway — and hasn't been featured much on the home page of ESPN.com. We figured it was nothing; the man has taken extended breaks before. But, just to be thorough, we emailed him and asked if an...
Hillary And The BCS
• How the Democratic National Committee is like the BCS. [Smoking Trees In Belize] • Global warming is now affecting NFL training camps. [selfish teams] • Eddie Guardado lives! [Rumors And Rants] • This is quite a kind gift. [The Beautiful Game] • What's wrong with the NBA playoffs. [Focus Balance, ...
The Jazz Have Some Truly Charming Fans
Last month, ESPN's Ric Bucher took some heat for saying that Jazz fans are vicious because they're Mormons and there's nothing else to do in Salt Lake City. That might or might not be true, but one thing is certain: They really are quite vicious....
Media Approval Ratings: Jayson Stark
We miss seeing Jayson Stark on "Baseball Tonight," but all told, we think we probably miss the mustache more. Who wouldn't?...
Bonds Perjury Charges Breed, Multiply, Threaten To Overrun Small Town
One reason that no team wants to take a chance on signing Barry Bonds: The perjury counts from his BALCO grand jury testimony seem to be splitting like amoebas. On Monday he had four counts of perjury, and on Tuesday it suddenly became 14. As any biology teacher will tell you, that's reproduction by...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Boston Herald Gets Wingo'd Into Apology, Readers Revolt
During yesterday's Spygate meet-and-greet with the press, Roger Goodell and Matt Walsh revealed everything and nothing as to how this whole misguided mess actually transpired. What we do know? According to Goodell, Patriots coach Bill Belichick continues to be full of shit about his misreading of th...