ick Page 315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Luka Dončić Does Cool Things
There was a funny moment midway through the third quarter of Wednesday night’s Mavericks road win in Houston, when Luka Dončić drove the paint off a nifty show-and-go move, slowed up in the lane, and lofted a smooth, high-arcing floater over the outstretched arm of Clint Capela, one of the NBA’s mor...

Please Enjoy This Enormous Australian Cow
What you’re looking at here is a cow named Knickers, a Holstein Friesian that lives on a farm in Western Australia with a bunch of other regulation-size cows that honestly look laughably small—like a child’s toys, like a dull child’s stupid playthings—in comparison. This is because Knickers, per Per...

Ass Team Of The Week: Oh Yeah, The San Francisco 49ers Still Play Football
Every person that cares about NFL football was freed from having to pay any attention to the San Francisco 49ers at the moment quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo tore his ACL in Week 3. They briefly rose to notice when rookie quarterback Nick Mullens had a decent game on Thursday Night Football, but for th...
![Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ixehh9mgwgbeldk2uzsj.gif)
Henry Anderson's Dick And Balls Rudely Squished By Cordarrelle Patterson [Update]
Cordarrelle Patterson was brought down by Henry Anderson after a one-yard gain on a first-and-five run early in the fourth quarter of Sunday’s Patriots-Jets tilt. Patterson, who I think it will henceforth be fair to assume is a total sociopath, expressed his displeasure with that turn of events by c...

Spectacular Touchdown Grab Rescued From Nonexistence By NFL's Updated Catch Rule
An extremely cool touchdown catch survived the crucible of rulebook scrutinization and was hauled back from the brink of nonexistence in this afternoon’s surprising Browns beatdown of the Bengals. Baker Mayfield, who is torching the Bengals defense, lobbed a fade to Nick Chubb, operating against sin...

Ohio State Returns Momentum To Michigan With Muffed Fair Catch Attempt
For a majority of the first half, Ohio State has turned Michigan’s top-ranked defense into mincemeat. Dwayne Haskins has thrown for three touchdowns and hasn’t been under any serious pressure all game. So when Michigan scored its first touchdown of the day to cut Ohio State’s lead down to eight with...

Was That The Future Of Football?
“I might need a couple beverages to relax tonight,” Sean McVay said after the Rams’ 54-51 win over the Chiefs in one of the most satisfying and exhilarating football games ever played. Maybe a cigarette? MNF viewers are walking around this morning like we got laid last night, and you know what? I’m ...

Well That Was Exhilarating As Shit
The Rams and the Chiefs played the highest-scoring contest in the history of Monday Night Football tonight, a 54–51 barnburner in which every play seemed to go for 18 yards, and every third play seemed to produce a touchdown. It was maybe the most exciting football game I’ve ever watched. Did you mi...

The Bitter Fight For Equal Pay At One Of The World's Biggest Surf Contests
Thirty surfers descended on Half Moon Bay, California, on Oct. 26, boards and wetsuits in tow. The athletes were gathered for a ceremonial paddling-out, a celebration to kick off the official start of big wave surfing season, which traditionally begins in early November and runs through March. For t...

Washington Needs A Quarterback. I Know A Guy!
If you saw what happened to Alex Smith’s leg, you didn’t need the updates. Watching the video was enough to tell you that his tibia and fibula were broken, and that he needed immediate surgery, and that he’s out for the year. It was one of the more gruesome football injuries in recent memory, and ca...

It Didn't Go Well For The Lawyers Trying To Get A New Derrick Rose Trial
LOS ANGELES — A three-judge panel heard arguments Friday for and against vacating a jury’s decision to find Derrick Rose and two of his friends not liable in a 2016 civil rape trial. A woman, going by Jane Doe, sued Rose as well as his friends Ryan Allen and Randall Hampton in federal court, saying ...

The Real Story Behind The Lewd Video And Bitter Feud That Tore Apart GW's Athletic Department
George Washington’s men’s basketball team started its 2018–2019 season with two ugly home losses. First, the Colonials blew a 22-point lead to Stony Brook, then they came back two nights later and got rolled by Siena. Neither squad would have been expected to beat a GW team just two years removed f...

Patrick Ewing Said "Nuts" On National TV And Giggled
The mighty Georgetown Hoyas downed Illinois in an 88-80 thriller last night to improve to 3-0 in the season. Second-year head coach Patrick Ewing praised the team in his post-game interview, calling out freshman James Akinjo for showing some “nuts,” before catching himself and revising his statement...

Report: DeAndre Jordan Isn't Making Friends In Dallas
The Mavericks finally got DeAndre Jordan this year, three years after ... well, you remember. It’s possible this was a Monkey’s Paw–type situation....

Ass Team Of The Week: The Buccaneers Were Killed By Their Own Hot, Compressed Farts
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 16-3 to Washington on Sunday, but just about every number save for the final score says the Bucs were the better team. They out-gained Washington in yards nearly two-to-one—it was 501 to 286 when the final whistle blew—and yards per play (7.5 to 5.2), and had nearly dou...

Let's Remember Some Carmelo Anthony Highlights
Carmelo Anthony’s time with the Houston Rockets seems to be coming to a quick and humiliating end. This comes after an agonizing season with the Thunder and a productive but mostly disappointing tenure with the Knicks. It’s been true for long enough now that it can be said without qualification: Car...

Bears Kicker Cody Parkey Hit The Uprights Four Times In One Game
Bears kicker Cody Parkey missed two field goals and two extra points in Chicago’s 34-22 win over the Lions today. But he didn’t whiff them: He hit the uprights on all four of his misses. (Parkey did successfully convert two extra points.)...

Nick Chubb Ran All Over The Falcons For The Longest Play From Scrimmage Of The Season
The Browns are pummeling the Falcons defense this afternoon, and one of the main culprits has been Cleveland running back Nick Chubb. Having already caught a receiving touchdown earlier, Chubb added to the damage by running through a hole, making one man miss, and ripping off a 92-yard rush to the e...

FitzMagic Isn't Strong Enough To Make This Pass Legal
Tampa Bay Bucs QB Ryan Fitzpatrick almost made a magical play on a long third down in the first quarter of today’s game against Washington. With the ball at midfield, Fitzpatrick dropped back, did a supernatural job of escaping the pass rush, then took off running before he, uh, threw a forward pass...

David Fizdale Doesn't Want To Be Tempted By Visions Of A Healthy Kristaps Porzingis
As the Knicks head coach, David Fizdale has been a blessing. He’s gotten creative with his lineups; he’s giving the youth plenty of burn; and he’s not trying to win now with the likes of Lance Thomas and Enes Kanter. He’s taking the long view. So long is his view that Fizdale is not even willing to ...