ick Page 327 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Has Come To This: Coach Orders Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Opponents
A request from the league didn’t do the trick. A sternly worded letter has been sent; an NHL bigwig also delivered the message to the player and his team’s manager. Now we are here: Bruins coach Bruce Cassidy ordering his player to stop licking the faces of his opponents before the start of today’s ...

Yadier Molina Undergoes Surgery After Taking Fastball To The Dick And Balls
On the list of worst-case scenarios for baseball catchers, this sequence has got to rank somewhere near the top: getting nailed in the junk by a deflected 102-mph fastball; requiring surgery for anything having to do with getting nailed in the junk by a deflected 102-mph fastball. But that appears t...

Report: The NHL Tries, Once Again, To Talk Brad Marchand Out Of Licking People
Bruins dingus Brad Marchand was reportedly asked by the NHL to stop licking opposing players on April 26. The licking did not stop: Friday night, during his team’s eventual overtime loss to the Lightning, Marchand was spotted licking the face of Tampa winger Ryan Callahan. Hard as it may be to belie...

Trump Forms Sports Council Featuring Bill Belichick, Lou Ferrigno, And Dr. Oz, For Some Reason
Sports genius Donald Trump has done the inevitable, again. This time, the big lad has put his close personal friend Bill Belichick on an official Presidential council. Shockingly, Belichick will not be in charge of any nuclear weaponry or an actual department of significance, which honestly would ha...

Kristaps Porzingis Is Seeking Companionship In Madrid :))
Since suffering a season-ending ACL tear, Kristaps Porzingis has done everything a Knicks fan could have hoped for. The 22-year-old is busying himself with two or three therapy sessions a day, strengthening his core and upper body, and sharpening his mind. “Reading bores me, I don’t like reading,” h...

Report: Donald Trump Spent Quality Time Last Week Talking Football With Bill Belichick
In 1993, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen found time between Full House episodes to record an album called I Am the Cute One. Songs include “I Am a Kid,” “I Love to Scream,” and “No One Tells the President What to Do.” The last of those is a celebration of the truth of its title—the president can do whate...

Jordan Hicks Threw The Season's Two Fastest Pitches
Reliever Jordan Hicks, who plays for some crummy team, threw record-setting gas Tuesday night against White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson. Five of the six pitches in that plate appearance were above 101 mph, and the pitch at the top of this post came in at 102.0 mph, the fastest this season. Anderson c...

Drake And Kendrick Perkins Start An Amusingly Lopsided Feud At Game 1 Of Cavs-Raptors
Noted Toronto fan (and former failed basketball player) Drake stirred a little beef with Cleveland bench goon Kendrick Perkins during tonight’s Raptors-Cavaliers Game 1. It started with some words at halftime......

Pirates Pitcher Nick Kingham Had A Hell Of A Debut
Eight years after being drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates, Nick Kingham delivered one of the best major-league debuts of all time. He took a perfect game into the seventh inning against the Cardinals, before Paul DeJong knocked a single down the third-base line with two outs. Kingham retired 20 stra...
![Mischievous Dong Photobombs Marathon Photo Finish [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/aleqwnjii3sxqqbdtbj0.png)
Mischievous Dong Photobombs Marathon Photo Finish [NSFW]
The 2018 Christie Clinic Illinois Marathon was held Saturday in Champaign, and featured a virtually unheard of finish: runners Tesfaalem Mehari and Wilson Chenwono crossed the finish line at the same instant, and the result was ruled a tie. The runners will reportedly split the combined purse for fi...

Grim And Gritty Ricky Rubio Will Be Grimly And Grittily Cheering From The Bench In Game 1 Of Jazz-Rockets
Ricky Rubio, who looks like the very happiest bearded child in that damn photo up there, will reportedly not be available for Game 1 of Jazz-Rockets, to be played Sunday afternoon in Houston. The hamstring injury that sidelined him for most of the final game of Utah’s series-clinching win over OKC w...

One-Handed MMA Pro Nick Newell Will Get A Shot At Making The UFC
Judging strictly from his professional MMA record, Nick Newell should really be in the UFC. The Connecticut native is 14-1, finishing 11 of his fights in the first round, and losing only to UFC face-masher extraordinaire Justin Gaethje. That’d seem to make him an obvious addition to the roster, but ...

The All-Too-Brief Basketball Career Of Reggie Rose
On Monday night, TNT play-by-play man Kevin Harlan welcomed Reggie Rose to the NBA, excitedly shouting his name on several instances. Signed by the Timberwolves, Reggie Rose scored 17 points in a Game 4 loss to the Rockets, and somehow, in his NBA debut, already appeared to be on his last legs....

Leonys Martín Hits Dong, Then Hits Dong
Leonys Martín led off today’s Tigers-Pirates game with a big home run, but it came at a price. On the fourth pitch of the game, Martín ricocheted a pitch off the plate into his dick and balls. He rolled around for two minutes afterward and had a hard time standing back up....

NFL Owners Sure Came Off Like Dumbasses When They Met With Players About Protests
On Monday, The New York Times teased us with a maddeningly coy report about Eagles owner Jeff Lurie calling Donald Trump’s presidency “disastrous” during last October’s players-owners meeting about national anthem protests. The Times, which acquired an audio recording of the three-hour meeting, has ...

Alabama And Nick Saban Might Have A Quarterback Standoff Brewing
Alabama quarterback Jalen Hurts is 26-2 as a starter, the reigning MVP of the Sugar Bowl, and the 2016 SEC Offensive Player of the Year. And according to his dad, he’ll be the “biggest free agent in college football history” if he’s not starting come this August....

Grim And Gritty Ricky Rubio Has The Thunder On The Ropes
It can be a little disorienting to remind yourself that grim and gritty Ricky Rubio, the veteran point guard of the Utah Jazz, has played exactly the same number of playoff games over the course of his NBA career as Donovan Mitchell has. Rubio, whose transformation from doe-eyed, baby-faced sidekick...