ill Page 632 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly® Has Found A New, Bizarre Way To Express His Oral Fixation
Teeth jokes are out. Tongue-bathing is in....

Zombie Pat Tillman Would Be Playing For Bill Belichick Right Now, Peter King Reports
In March 2003, the United States embarked on a misbegotten and illegitimate war in Iraq that would have profound and sadly irrevocable consequences on ... the 2005 NFL free-agent market. So says Peter King....

MLB Postseason Preview: Philadelphia Phillies
For those refined gentlepeople who prefer the cerebral grace of baseball to the plebian savagery of football, October is the greatest of months. Will Leitch looks at each of the eight playoff combatants. Now up: The Philadelphia Phillies....

The Lost Poise
Mark Sanchez threw three picks in yesterday's loss to the Saints, and on the season he has five interceptions against four touchdowns, all of which means that sportswriters must now address the grave matter of Sanchez's inexplicable lack of poise....

Baseball Update!
Oh, shit, the Twins just scored four runs. And they look great in those throwbacks! Though honestly you see so many TC hats these days (even in New York!) that I'm seriously missing the lowercase M. Poor Greinke :(...

Jayson Williams Walks Into A Bar…
I like to support small business, and Marshall Stack, the tavern directly opposite my apartment building, is no exception. But a few weeks ago the "Stack," as regulars call it, received a visit from a truly exceptional man....

Mike Francesa Continues Bitter Assault Against Sports Fella And ESPN
Irked by ESPN's "30 for 30" docu film fest, Mad Dog-less Mike Francesa went on another rant about the WWL's monopolizing of sports and called out Bill Simmons for being a "stooge" for the network. History repeating. [Fantasy555]...

Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....

Book From Hell
So, by the looks of it, Rick Reilly®'s new book promises to be a thoroughly dignified affair that won't in any way represent another sad step in a once-great sportswriter's descent into self-parody and studied wackiness. That much is evident....

Rushin Literature
Steve Rushin, the punster who used to write awesome features and dreadful columns for Sports Illustrated, has a novel dropping next year. It's about "a friendly and unassuming lover of clever wordplay and television sports." Steve's really stretching himself. [Amazon]...

The NHL Gets Its Way, And Paradoxically, So Do The Fans
I've been a vocal advocate for Jim Balsillie's plan to move the Coyotes to Ontario. But in the wake of today's ruling to reject his bid, it's clear that the judge made the right decision. The only decision....

Dancing Ump Brings Joy To Meaningless Games
Sorry Daulerio, but butt-chin down there wasn't even the most flamboyant person at a Phillies game this week. That'd be Dancin' Tim Tschida....

The Philadelphia Phillies Look Toward October Once Again
The post-WFC comedown has clearly not affected this Fightins' fan, who still has the Zook-like intensity of a man still thirsting for a championship. If the Phillies win tonight, they'll have clinched the NL East for the third straight year....

Contextual Advertising Knows Rick Reilly®'s Mind
Skip the column — Reilly reviews Chad Ochocinco's new book, dad jokes ensue — and go straight to the sponsored links at the bottom. You have chosen your advertising vehicle wisely, www.consumertipsweekly.net. [ESPN]...

The Learning Curve: Diminishing Skills
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Lidge Meltdown Brings On Fan Meltdown
Though this video contains a dejected Phillies fan, it could be any one of us. In just three minutes, he articulates, very inarticulately, the pain we've all felt. I present to you the Überfansch, whose transcendence will justify our existence....

Russian Dude Will Build Arena, Buy Nets, Annex New Jersey (UPDATE)
Russian basketboligarch Mikhail Prokhorov has gone from maybe chipping in a few dollars to build a new arena for the Nets to offering to take over the whole dang team—and maybe the entire NBA while he's at it....

Sports Will Make Detroit Happy Again, Sportswriters Continue To Claim
Oh, look. A sportswriter has parachuted into Detroit and found a hard-luck city with a shrinking tax base in the maw of a recession whose spirits nonetheless brighten because Brandon Inge just ran out a grounder to short. Yay!...

Teams Giving Refunds For Poor Play Could Bankrupt American Sports
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Learning Curve: Phinally Philly
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....