ill Page 637 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Weekly Throwgasm Breakdown: Pistachios, Apatow, Simmons, and Bees!
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....

Curt Schilling Talks To Curt Schilling About David Ortiz
Nothing really happens to the Red Sox until Curt Schilling says it happens, so the pitching maestro sat down with himself for an informative Q & A about how the David Ortiz situation affects Curt Schilling....

Bill Simmons Is Still Coming To Terms With The Manny/Papi Steroid Revelations
"Of all the days for me to fly cross-country... I nominate this as my all-time worst finding news out on a blackberry moment." [SportsFellaTweets]...

Rick Reilly®, Sportsmanship Nazi
"I hated that sweater for the same reason I hate when a player preens for the camera in the 'I'm going to Disney World' commercials," Reilly writes in his latest, thus completing his transformation into Andy Rooney....

Omar Minaya: Mix Master No More
It was just two years ago that Omar Minaya was a Sports Illustrated cover boy and subject of a fawning profile in which he was referred to simply as O. As in: Oh my, how things have changed....

Cliff Lee Wins Roy Halladay Sweepstakes
Phillies give up farm parts for last year's Cy Young Award Winner and also add right-handed bat Disco Ben Francisco.[The Phillies Zone]...

The White House Welcomes Shock And Aww, Not That Again
In welcoming your WNBA world champions to his home, the First Bulls Fan lamented congratulating former-and-forever Piston Bill Laimbeer — controversy! scandal! developing! — so Laimbeer will probably be back next week to resolve the conflict over beers. [CBS]...

And Here Are The Three Men Who (Allegedly) Beat The 22-Year-Old To Death In A Parking Lot During The Phillies Game
On Saturday there was a silly dust-up at McFadden's (a bar at CBP), which spilled out onto the parking lot and one young man was beaten to death for God knows what. These are the men who (allegedly) killed him....

Boxer Vernon Forrest Murdered
The former Olympian and one time welterweight/middleweight titleholder was shot in the back 8 times near Atlanta last night during a robbery attempt. [AJC]...

Chargers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

T.O. Explains To Trent Edwards Exactly When He'll Make His Life Miserable
T.O. drives the Buffalonians bananas on his first day at mini-camp. You get the impression that this is the one place in the NFL universe where his spectacle isn't only welcome, but desperately needed. (PHOTO: H/T William V.) [Buffalo News]...

And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....

Shaq Vs. The Secret Service
Shaquille O'Neal plans to meet the owner of the world's most famous White Sox jacket by walking up to his home's gated entrance, ringing the doorbell and asking if Barack Obama would like to sit on his lap. [Bog]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Miller Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Milwaukee Brewers' Miller Park....

Your Daily Dead Mets Walking Update
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

And Then A Not-So-Mighty Dong Appeared...
Unfortunately named Georgia Bulldogs quarterback Joe Cox appears in a Sporting News Today spread and it appears 1. he forgot to wear a cup, and 2. the magazine forgot to airbrush out his flaccid penis showing through his pants. (NSFW?)...

Would You Let Ricky Williams Massage Your Head?
Ricky Williams is no longer searching for enlightenment in the bottom of a water bong. Oh, he still wants enlightenment, but now he's looking for it in a second career as a holistic healer....

The Sports Fella Has Tremendous Upside On Mediaite Power Grid
He'll have that green arrow next to his portrait in no time after this miniature mailbag of an interview. The word cloud: Twitter, fad, ESPN, think, stories, nervous, immediacy, Letterman, saying, blog, better. [Mediaite/Wordle]...

TMZ Purchases LeBron Dunk Tape Before We Do
Yes. Purchased it. Because despite Nike's best efforts to keep this thing under wraps, another amateur videographer smart enough to not hand it over has been shopping it for weeks when it became apparent the world wanted to Witness....

Why Jack Never Leaves The Staples Center
Got a Jack Nicholson problem in your front row, Philadelphia? Call in the Phanatic The Batman. [The Fightins]...