ill Page 673 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Inglorious Bastardization
The Sports Illustrated cover line writers are big fans of glorious returns, obviously. But what makes these particular returns that much more glorious than others? This is the question posed by Deadspin reader Chris Corley, who asks who will be the next Return To Glory....

Pennsylvanians, Slam "Dunk" That "Vote"
If you happen to one of our Pennsylvania-area readers — and we know that some of you do, in fact, exist — we hope you've already made it out there and voted....

Always A Fun Night In Philly When The Mets Are In Town
Why can't you dim-witted Mets fans just behave yourselves when you come to Philadelphia? We get it. You like to be loud and obnoxious, and you won't back away from a fight. That would be an insult to your Cro-Magnon Guido charm if you walk away from a playful taunt with a smile or just show some re...

You Won't Be Able To Hide From This Election
Anyone watching the Mets-Phillies game on ESPN last night probably noticed the avid political junkie who kept putting up a "HILLARY" sign every time a lefthanded hitter came to the plate....

Coming To Grips With Blogging A Double Life
After what went down at the Washington Post this week, it prompted many aliased bloggers to wonder how bosses at their places of employment — be it a newspaper, law firm, or porn store — would respond if they caught wind of their sassy sports site. Not me, though. I have no alias. But I do have a jo...

Celebrating Jackie Robinson Day With Canadian Highlights And Lou Gossett Jr.
When honoring the great Jackie Robinson and all he has meant to baseball, my first thought was the same as the Dodgers': Roll out Chaka Khan. What, no Rufus? Tell me something good .... Of course Lou Gossett Jr. was also there, so it made perfect sense. Look, I don't like the fact that Jackie Robins...

ESPN Nixes Bill Simmons-Barack Obama Podcast
If Bill Simmons seems grouchier in his MVP column today, or in his podcast later this week, you'll have to forgive him. He was scheduled to have Sen. Barack Obama as a guest, but, for reasons that haven't quite made themselves clear, ESPN canceled the appearance. Obama was all ready to go, but the n...

Schilling's Doctor Perfects The Art Of Crap-Talking
Apparently, even Curt Schilling's personal physicans have big mouths. In an act of either monumentally selfish publicity hounding or a Herculean display of testicular fortitude, Dr. Craig Morgan, Schilling's "personal doctor", said that Curt was so infuriated with the Red Sox handling of his bum sho...

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...

Scott Spiezio Continues To Drown In Boozy River Of Sadness
Former major leaguer Scott Spiezio's tumultuous battle with alcoholism has been marred by some ugly incidents. But even though the 35-year-old Spiezio had some extremely heavy baggage, the Atlanta Braves took a flyer on the guy, hoping he could get his life together and earn a spot on the Braves ros...

Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...

Celine Dion Will Heal Olympic Rifts With Powerful Vocals
Celine Dion is about ready to choke a bitch if this Olympic boycott talk persists. Dion called on all people to "keep the dream possible for our young kids." She came to Beijing to express support for the Games after her concert in Shanghai on Friday....

Media Approval Ratings: Bill Simmons
With the NBA Playoffs tipping off this Friday, we couldn't think of a better time to finally take a look at Bill Simmons in this here media approval thing. And not just because of that NBA book that he's supposedly working on. (Though it's not on Amazon yet.)...

Ricky Reilly, Billy Simmons, And The Follies Of Privileged Sportswriting
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. Enjoy....

South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....

Observations From Opening Night At Shea
We attended our first baseball game of the season last night, a sloppy, ugly, slightly comical 8-2 Mets win over the Phillies. We tried to attribute it to a cold April night, but seriously, we're not sure the Phillies were actually wearing gloves....

The Ones Meet The Eights
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...

Buckner's Awkward Re-Return To Fenway
I guess it's not really the appropriate time where you sprint out to the mound, but dude, honestly, he's walking out there like he just let the ball go threw his legs again. Then again ... that is the only reason he's out there. So, in reality, he has to make that long fucking walk again (longer eve...

Roy Williams' Divided Loyalties
As we continue to come to terms with a planet that has Bill Self as a national championship coach — we fully expect to see the Official NCAA Title Toupee on sale soon — we turn our attention to the Jayhawks' newest fan: North Carolina coach Roy Williams....