ill Page 686 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mission Accomplished
So if we're understanding Shaq correctly, the past few NBA MVP awards have been tainted, but being lauded by the current Commander-In-Chief is juuuust fine. No taint there....
Sports Illustrated Apologizes For All The Diarrhea
If the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition didn't have enough problems already — sorry, guys, it's not 1985 anymore; you have no idea how much more access we have to naked people now — it appears now they've got another issue: When you think of the SI swimsuit edition, you just have to think of Hepa...
Luis Castillo Is Protective Of His Anus
Last week, Twins second baseman Luis Castillo was scheduled to receive his yearly physical from team doctors. But he kept wanting to delay it, much to the confusion of team officials. Twins manager Ron Gardenhire helpfully explained....
Dick Vitale, Not Surprisingly, Can't Figure Out His Phone
It is perhaps not surprising that MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER Dick Vitale would have trouble using basic cellular technology, but it is surprising that Vitale might actually say something off-camera that could be construed as "controversial." Or, for that matter, that he would say anything; we always assum...
NBA Roundup: Love Shaq, He's Our Little Love Shaq
Notes from Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Shaq On Taint
After the Heat lost to Dallas on Thursday, a reporter engaged Shaq in conversation about Dirk Nowitzki's MVP candidacy. Shaq, sensing the opportunity to get some things off his chest, went off about how the award selection process and said that Steve Nash's last two MVP awards were "tainted."...
... Or, As The NHL Calls It, 'Thursday'
For those who like their NHL violence varied and wanton, we present Thursday's Ottawa at Buffalo matchup, which makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a tickle fight. The Sabres' 6-5 OT win featured 100 total penalty minutes, with eight penalties for fighting, four for hooking, two for instigating ...
Matt Millen Laughs At The Pain He Causes You
You know, we're starting to think that the only things that would survive a nuclear holocaust would be cockroaches, Kevin Federline and Matt Millen. And at least the cockroaches would feel kind of guilty about it....
The Last Night Of The Chief
Last night, as tons of teary-eyed Central Illinoisians will tell you this morning, was the final dance of Chief Illiniwek, the skipping, painted white-guy-dressed-up-as-Injun who has "performed" at halftime of our alma mater's sporting events for the last 80 years or so. Like most alums — or at leas...
You Will Dance With Shaq And You Will Like It
There aren't many good reasons not to like Shaq. This was Shaq having fun at the All-Star practice yesterday, forcing LeBron and Dwight Howard to have fun along with him. I realize that Shaq is not everyone's cup of tea, but when he retires, who's going to do stuff like this? It seems like Shaq is m...
Bill Walton Drinks Alone
For random encounters with drunk athletes and/or celebrities, this could be the most promising weekend of all-time. Enrico Campitelli of The 700 Level is in one of the bloggers in Vegas this weekend, and last night, he ran into Bill Walton. Hammered, and all by his lonesome....
Rarely Are Pillow Fights Won So Decisively
We imagine that this is what the ancient Roman gladitorial games must have been like, if they fought with pillows, and one of the combatants was an incredible wuss. "Think that's the worst of it? Release the kitten!"...
No More "Conversation" On Page 2
As many of you noticed yesterday, our friends at ESPN.com have discontinued ESPN Conversation on its Page 2 columns. They're calling it the end of the "Beta" testing, though we're not sure how much sense that makes: Why would you test something on the most easily-commented upon stories just to push ...
Champaign's Long National Nightmare Is Over
As an old lifer at the Daily Illini, no story was less fun to talk about than Chief Illiniwek. We once had our own personal take on the embattled "symbol" of the University of Illinois, but we don't even remember what it was anymore: It was talked about every day, in the most banal and "emotional" t...
Jon Lieber Has A Big-Ass Truck
We'd like to note that Phillies pitcher Jon Lieber is a real man with a real man's truck....
Trying To Understand The Illini Car Crash
Now that Illini center Brian Carlwell's condition after Monday's accident in a car driven by teammate Jamar Smith has been upgraded to "fair," we think it's probably OK to look at some of the more bizarre aspects to the crash....
Inside The Awful Illini Car Accident
As most of you have heard by now, two Illinois basketball players — center Brian Carlwell and shooting guard Jamar Smith — were injured in a car accident last night in Champaign. Smith suffered a concussion, but Carlwell is currently listed in critical condition at Carle Foundation Hospital, a hospi...
The Eye Of The Tiger Will Save A Serbian Village
Zitiste is a small Serbian town with a population just over 3,000. I guess the village is only mentioned in the news when they're hit with floods, and they're getting tired of it. To counteract this, they're spending money on not some sort of drainage or irrigation system, but... a big Rocky statue....
And To Think That In Some Countries, These Dogs Are Eaten
The Temple Owls aren't having much of a year, so Bill Cosby's got some time on his hands. And what better way to fill that time than becoming a dog show person? The Cos has an entry in the upcoming Westminster Dog Show ... not just any entry, but a favorite to win. Bill Cosby is the anti-Ron Artest....
Wade Phillips Made a Hot Daughter
The Cowboys' hiring of Wade Phillips as their new head coach drew an underwhelming response from the general public. Reactions ranged from yawns to "What the?!" to "At least it's not Norv Turner." There was a distinct lack of enthusiasm or glee....