ill Page 687 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Where My Team Stands: Philadelphia Phillies
If we've learned anything about Octobers the last few years, it's that the month tests, stretches and hones every aspect of loyalty fandom....
Playoff Pants Party: Phillies Vs. Rockies
The best part about the playoffs is that every team can, legitimately, be considered a "team of destiny." The only team last year that probably didn't have a claim as a "team of destiny" going into the playoffs was the team who won the World Series....
And So The Great 21st Century Grill Wars Have Begun
As you have probably noted in your personal journal, a little while back we called for someone, anyone, to give Evander Holyfield a grill endorsement. Well, someone was listening. Introducing the Evander Holyfield Real Deal Grill, which hit stores last week, and is meant as a direct competitor to Ge...
Mourn The Mets
Before we commence burying the Mets' and their historic collapse, let's take a moment and congratulate the Phillies, who had to earn their way here. (Daulerio was at the game in Philly yesterday and we're pretty sure Victorino got him with that water hose.) The Phillies will be incredibly fun to wat...
Phillies Just Sank Mets' Jengajam
As most of you have already seen, Tom Glavine's outing today didn't last too long — maybe he was double parked? — as the Florida Marlins lit up Mr. 300 with seven runs in the first inning en-route to an 8-1 win. With that, they needed Philadelphia to lose and force a tie. They've been counting on Ph...
Congratulations, Chicago Prepubescent Bears
What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too laz...
Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane....
Two NL East Ballparks, Exactly Opposite
We were at Shea Stadium last night, wearing our Rick Ankiel jersey, of course, and we noted that we were 100 percent unmolested. We chalk this up partly to the fact that Mets fans are about 60 times nicer to visiting fans than Yankees fans, but mostly, Shea Stadium was a morgue last night. The Cardi...
Of Course; Electric Skates! We'd Be Idiots Not To Try Them!
Introducing, the Therma Blade! Battery-warmed skates that melt the ice to provide more speed. Wayne Gretzky endorses them, so that's something, right? However the first thing that caught my eye about this item — and it may be a telling metaphor — is that the bottom half of the above photo distinctly...
Ladies, Line Up For Roy Williams
Lions wide receiver Roy Williams is making $1,515,000 this year, which is actually a little less than you might think, considering Jon Kitna is being paid $5 million. Therefore, Williams, under such obvious financial constraints, has to keep a close eye on his bottom line. That is to say: He's amazi...
Reading Phillies Start A Turf War
The Reading Phillies are preparing to replace the playing surface at FirstEnergy Stadium, and of course they're going to remove the old grass as economically as possible: With rock bands and a demolition derby. Hey, the town's only rototiller is rented out that weekend....
R.I.P. Bill Wirtz
They say that no one on their deathbed ever says, "I wish I would have worked more" — other than Jack Donaghy, anyway — but one wonders if, ultimately, former Blackhawks owner Bill Wirtz, who died this morning at the age of 77, would have secretly smiled to learn that the first line in his obit invo...
The Mets Are Cursed, And We Know Why
We think we've found the problem, Mets' fans. The reason for your team's sudden collapse is not Willie Randolph's mismanagement of the bullpen, not a stretch of 10 errors in two games, not poor clutch hitting. It all comes down to your very own Steve Bartman. Yes, it's Matt Murphy's fault....
A Completely Unfair Shot At Steve Phillips
Just because it's always fun to make fun of Steve Phillips, here's a look at some of his outstanding August predictions....
Rob Stone Knows How To Liven Up A Broadcast
All told, we find this rather clever — and, to be honest, we've been enjoying the Women's World Cup considerably more than we would enjoy a Troy-Oklahoma State game — and we pretty much enjoy everything Stone does. (We had no idea sideline reporters could be funny; isn't that against the rules?) Tho...