ill Page 692 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Get Thee To A Newsstand (Or SI.com, At Least)
Though we grew up thinking he was the the best sportswriter on the planet — and one of our favorite journalists anywhere — we'll confess souring somewhat on Sports Illustrated scribe Gary Smith in recent years. His writing was still top-notch, but it was beginning to become repetitive. He'd either w...
An Odd Way To Get Your Coach Off Your Back
Because we're just the kind of sniggering, obnoxious, wisenheimer 14-year-olds you think we are, we thought we'd giggle a bit this morning at Steelers lineback Joey Porter, who is in serious danger of becoming a staple around these parts....
Party Crash: Our Birthday Bash
As you might have noticed — mainly because we kind of haven't shut up about it, much to our own detriment — our beloved little site turned one year old yesterday. When we personally turned one year old in 1976, we celebrated by drinking in extreme excess, so we thought we'd do the same thing last ni...
NFL Season Previews: Jacksonville Jaguars
We are officially one day before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their face...
Well, Well, Look Who's Going To Be On The Colbert Report
We will confess to being big fans of "The Colbert Report." As hardcore "Daily Show" watchers since the (obviously inferior) Craig Kilborn days, we weren't sure we had time for another half hour of fake news — particularly fake news delivered as a satire of cable news show hosts we don't actually w...
NFL Pants Party: AFC East
Personally, we think the AFC East would be a lot more fun to make predictions for if Troy Brown had to play quarterback for the Patriots every game. Oh, and is Culpepper organizing the rookie party for the Dolphins this year?...
NFL Pants Party: AFC South
Because the season starts, oh, tomorrow, we figured it was probably time to start laying out some of the predictions for you, division by division. So here's a quick roundup of predictions from around the series of tubes we call the Internet....
The Daily Closer: Red Pinstripes In Morning, NL Take Warning
Notes from a day in baseball:...
"Show Me Where Mariotti Touched You, Alex"
We can't quite put our finger on why a picture of Ozzie Guillen talking to Alex Rodriguez while A-Rod violently adjusts his crotch region is funny .... but it nevertheless is....
The Media Creates $9,500 In Fines For Terrell Owens
No one involved wants to comment on it, but the Dallas Cowboys have finally fined Terrell Owens $9,500 for missing a team meeting, missing a rehab session, being late to an offensive meeting, and, according to Bill Parcells "being such a dick."...
NFL Season Preview: Buffalo Bills
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...
The Lastings Milledge Ho-Down
We've had several people ask us this morning: Hey, how about those Cardinals? Actually, a few variations on the them, a 32 Short Films About Glenn Gould type of thing....
Willie McGinest, Logic Monolith
This picture of new Cleveland Browns defensive end Willie McGinest — by the way, did you realize where Browns training camp was? Berea! — shows him wearing No. 55, the number he has worn since he played for USC more than a decade ago....
Even Boxers Are Like, "This Dude's Too Violent"
We are not licensed public relations professionals. So maybe we're not in a position to give advice....
Brett Myers' Easily Misinterpreted Punches To The Face
So, remember that Philadelphia minority owner who said Brett Myers' wife was lying when she said he hit her? At the time, he was publicly shushed by the other owners, and now it's easy to see why....
Eleven Championships And Tremendous Savings On Your Long Distance Bill
From J.E. Skeets and The Basketball Jones comes this tremendous video of a 1973 Bill Russell commercial in which he attempts to save you money on your long distance bill....
You Got Neil Rackers, Yo
All right, so we know this isn't real, and we know it's just an NFL promotional video (for a product we don't use; we prefer Yahoo for our all fantasy games, to be honest with you), but we still could not resist....
Free Darko, Live On Scene, And Loving Jim Gray
Generally speaking, we think it's silly for online writers — who are the only ones free from the PR/press pass/everybody-play-nice circle jerk of commercialized athletics — to salivate over press passes as if they had, at last, been invited to the ball. But we will make an exception when the folks f...
Jay Mariotti Has Returned
Fret not, loyal Chicago-area readers: Your long national nightmare is now over. After a month-long "vacation" that followed Ozzie Guillen Fag-gate, Chicago Sun-Times "columnist" Jay Mariotti has signed a three-year deal with the paper, assuring his smiling face will grace the paper's pages four days...