ill Page 692 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Philly Pants Party Eve
A reminder to those coming along for the Philadelphia Pants Party tomorrow: Be ready for booze. (And dudes.)...

What's Bill Simmons Working On?
At the end of another of his mammoth chats yesterday, prodigal Sports Guy Bill Simmons made an odd announcement....

Jared Allen Knows Why He's Famous
Kansas City Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen tends to have a little bit of trouble with the whole "drive, then drink, rather than the other way around" thing. He had three DUI arrests in the span of four years, and he'll miss the first four games this season thanks to an NFL suspension....

The Doggest Day Of Summer
It's only 400,000 degrees in Brooklyn today, rather than 4,000,000, but that doesn't mean today's been any less difficult of a day; we are fully wrapped up in the most boring sports day of the year. No sports today — not counting the WNBA, of course — and the taping of the ESPYs. Some might say you ...

The Wind Was Angry That Day, My Friends
"Help! The infield tarp has got me!" If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies' Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-...

To Watch Tonight
• 7 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Philadelphia Soul at Georgia Force. You can't force soul on people. It has to come naturally. [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — MLB: Atlanta Braves at San Diego Padres. Greg Maddux pitching against his former team, making for a riveting storyline three years ago. [ESPN] • 8 p.m....

When Fabricated Quotes Are Taken Out Of Context
Yesterday, I mentioned in the Blogdome about how a sports talk radio show made a crucial mistake none of us seasoned sports blog readers ever do: take an Every Day Should Be Saturday post seriously. Continuing this trend, Sports Illustrated appeared to have taken a satirical riff on the NBA Draft di...

Police Find Maasive Collection Of Drugs (And One Gun)
I bet you're wondering why one person, namely former NFL player and current Fox Sports commentator Bill Maas, needs both a gun and illegal drugs and his car. You'd think one or the other would suffice for a former lineman, but it's quite simple, actually. See, the guns fend off anyone trying to take...

I Say, Jolly Good Performance By Venus Williams
Contrary to popular belief, Venus Williams is still playing tennis. (Kind of like when I saw Paul Shuey pitching for the Orioles last night. In fact, it's EXACTLY the same thing.) She made the Wimbledon final against Marion Bartoli, a tennis player you may remember hearing about first in this senten...

We Doubt Anna Benson Would Have Stood For This
To wrap up today, here's yet another example of just how weird professional athletes are, from a few days ago: They sometimes live in a batting cage. That's what the Angels' Reggie Willits does, anyway....



All Hail The Harlem Globetrotters!
When we were kids, we were obsessed with the Harlem Globetrotters. We went to see them at the Assembly Hall in the mid-80s, and granting for the fact that the only real entertainment we had back then was running over G.I. Joe figurines with the lawn mower, it kind of blew our minds....


Danny Almonte's Big League Dreams
So this is sad: Danny Almonte, the onetime Little League World Series legend who turned out to be older than everyone had sad — and ended up marrying a woman 11 years his senior — is gonna need himself a new career....

Reggie Willits Is A Cage Dweller
There's a cute little story in the New York Times today about Angels outfielder Reggie Willits, who's raising a family in a batting cage. It's one giant room, 60 feet long and 32 feet wide, with a batting cage, kitchen, living area, beds ... and no walls between any of them....

Come Join Us At The Philly Pants Party
After a bit of a delay, we have the details for the next Deadspin Pants Party, to be held in Philadelphia on Saturday, July 14. It's all official and stuff: You can buy your tickets right here. Game starts at 3:55. We will be there, as will the esteemed balls of A.J. Daulerio....

"Hey, Guys! It's Oliver!"
Maybe we just couldn't muster up the incredible enthusiasm of these "baseball" "players."...


Getting Drunk With The Draft And Simmons
As we watch Chad Ford do his absolute best Bill Simmons impression while mock-drafting with the Sports Fella — "Taking Oden is like marrying the girl you don't want to date, but the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with!" — we look forward to tomorrow night's NBA Draft. (Which will be li...