it Page 1531 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Conan O'Brien Ruined The Stanley Cup Finals
For the first time in 54 years, two Stanley Cup Finals games will be played on back-to-back nights. Why the rush? Because NBC doesn't want boring old hockey games cluttering up their precious Law & Order reruns....
Only The British Can Make Soccer Sound Like Fellatio
The Guardian, liveblogging Barca-Man U: "Stroke … pass … triangle … slide-rule pass … back-heel … tip … tap … slide-rule pass … neat triangle … neat triangle … neat triangle … through-ball … languid stroke … flick … trap … deft touch … chest … clatter … hoof." [Guardian]...
Jets Sued For Manipulating Ticket Prices By Men Who Wanted Jets Tickets, For Some Reason
Three men are suing the Jets for manipulating seat-license prices in an auction. The plaintiffs would have an excellent case, I think, if their judgment and credibility weren't immediately called into question by the fact that they were trying to buy Jets seat licenses. In an auction....
Barcelona and Manchester United Fight Over World's Remaining Marbles
I think I can say without hyperbole that for soccer nuts, today is like Christmas, Fourth of July, and the Super Bowl all rolled into one—only 100 million times bigger. It's the UEFA Champions League Final Day ... and you stupid Yanks are stuck at work!...
Winner Winner, Shake Shack Dinner
Getcher steak sandwiches, red-hot steak sandwiches! And sushi, creamy fried flounder, grilled shrimp po' boys, lobster rolls and clam chowder — all at Yankee Stadium and Citi Field. Frank Bruni gives the culinary edge to Citi, partly because Steinbrenner and Co. offer Johnny Rockets instead of Shake...
'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...
Sidney Crosby Taunts The Hockey Gods
The Penguins polished off a nice cold pitcher of Hurricanes last night, earning a return trip to the Stanley Cup Finals and a chance at redemption. Then captain Sidney Crosby just thumbed his nose at all that by skating around the ice with the Prince of Wales Trophy....
The Measure Of A Man, As Judged By A Stolen Telecommunication Device
This is a weekly column from Leitch....
"No Clowns Allowed Beyond This Point"
The new Yankee Stadium security measures are terribly draconian — unless, of course, you're Chris Berman, the newly appointed ringleader of the circus....
OK, Here's Your NHL Open Thread...
Apparently, the RBC Center might be the loudest hockey arena in the country (err, North America). We'll see if it affects Sid the Kid and the Penguins tonight at 7:30 p.m. in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals. Now go talk about it. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...
Judge: No, You Can't Replace Volleyball With Cheerleaders
A federal judge has decreed that Quinnipiac can't just ax its women's volleyball team to trim the budget — especially when, you know, it wouldn't actually save money if the team is replaced by a new varsity cheerleading squad. Something about Title IX. Proceed with your day. [News-Times]...
The One With The Story About The NBA-TV Lady's High School Days
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Cricket Player Sidelined Due To Violent Case Of The G-dubs
"The medical board has reported that Shoaib Akhtar was suffering from genital viral warts and the wound needs further care and treatment for another 10 days," the PCB said in a statement."[GuardianUK]...
Obama's Two Favorite Things Are The Steelers, Making Children Cry
A group of kindergarteners had their hearts broken yesterday when they showed up for a White House tour and were told they couldn't come in because staff had to prepare for the President's visit with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Also, because the tears of the innocent give Barack Obama sustenance....
Jake Peavy Says "Thanks But No Thanks" To White Sox
Jake Peavy loves batting so much that he can't bear to leave the National League, so he decided to reject the trade that would have sent him to the Chicago White Sox. Also, he knows how to read a box score. [MLB]...
Royals Fans Turn Children's Playground Into Thunderdome
Two couples started an all-out brawl at a Kansas City Royals game on Sunday after a woman walked in front another woman as she was taking a picture, a breech of etiquette that clearly deserves a head stomping. If a few kids got hurt along the way, that's just business....
Why Do The White Sox Need Think They Need Pitching Help Anyway?
Poor Bartolo Colon. 8 runs (only one earned, though!) in two innings of work and then the world caved in. [Yahoo!]...
Raiders Come To Terms With Fast, Toolsy Budget Airliner
The Raiders are teaming up with "low-budget, long-haul" Air Asia X and sticking their logo on the tailfin of an aircraft, now dubbed the "Commitment To Excellence" plane. A sad metaphor waiting to happen. [Examiner]...
Yankee Stadium Threatening To Get 100 Percent More Insufferable
Great news! The most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in college football wants to join forces with the most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in baseball. Yes, folks: Notre Dame wants to play football in shiny new Yankee Stadium....
Fake Ben Roethlisberger Has Internet Cancer
Terrible news, everybody. The cyber weirdo who is trolling the internet pretending to be Ben Roethlisberger has imaginary cancer. There's a PayPal link below where you can help send him an virtual bouquet of AOL sign-up CDs....