it Page 1553 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alex Rodriguez Ruins It For The Rest Of Us (Again)
Well, that's everyone. Any baseball player who has done anything notable in the last ten years did so while hopped up on goofballs. So I guess baseball is canceled now?...

Will You Still Respect This Model In The Morning?
Just a friendly reminder that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue hits newsstands this week. I'm guessing that there won't be any "hockey erotica" involved....

Heat Up Your Cold February Nights With Hockey Erotica
If you're looking for hot entertainment, I suggest finding your way North this month for "a new show that brings Canada's two favourite pastimes—hockey and sex—together at last on one rollicking theatre stage."...

Mike Tomlin's Younger Self Would Like To Share His Meal Plan With You
I'm not sure why this was sent to us or what it has to do with anything, but here it is—Mike Tomlin is a organ donor!...

And Now, Your Regularly-Scheduled Chris Berman Anecdote
As you know, it is the sole mission of this website to bring you Chris Berman news and information 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Today is no exception....

Panther (Card) Swipe: Muhsin Muhammad Should Pay His Bills On Time
What does Carolina Panthers wideout Muhsin Muhammad have in common with a college freshman? Both have overinflated views of their self worth (hi, bitter Bears fan here) and both have problems with credit cards....

Wait! Where's Everybody Going?!
Lion attack! Quarterback Kevin Newsome and kicker Anthony Fera decommit from Michigan and agree to play for Penn State. [The 700 Level]...

The Rangers Attempt To Reacquire Stars' Sloppy Seconds
Sean Avery could be a Ranger again soon, according to the New York Post. The exiled Stars' defenseman, who pisses off everyone in the NHL, is currently reconditioning his head for a comeback....

Santonio Holmes Toes Have Also Touched A Nerve
A full-scale battle of the screen-grabs has been waged between Mattoonian Buzzsaw Emeritus and seemingly every Pittsburgh Steelers fan with access to a computer. Even the Politico readers are pissed....

Hmm. A "Pool". "Gridiron God". Any Ideas?
"Which starlet did more than get wet with an uber-famous athlete in a pool? On top of that, a gridiron god walked in and got a gander at the action - and the twosome's pile of cocaine." [NYDN]...

TWO FEET DOWN
Steeler Nation sees your one toe and raises you another, Buzzsaw boy. [SteelersDepot]...

My Name Is Inigio Montoya (Cough), You Killed My Father, Prepare To ZZzzzzz
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]...

The F. Scott Fitzgerald Super Bowl Controversy That Wouldn't Die
Of all the cockamamie controversies surrounding the Super Bowl ... did two columnists actually criticize sideline reporter Alex Flanagan for quoting F. Scott Fitzgerald? And did Keith Olbermann jump to her defense on his show?...

ONE FOOT DOWN
He only had one foot down! One foot! I'll get over this eventually. [The Will Leitch Experience]...

Without Eternal Vigilance, It Could Happen Outside Of Your City College Women's Softball Practice
Santa Barbara police arrested a "middle-aged male" for masturbating in the parking lot where the Santa Barbara City College softball team was practicing. Carl Monday is not amused....

Troy Polamalu Once Again Stage Dives Into The Waiting Arms Of Sixburgh's Faithful
Yesterday's Super Bowl parade in Pittsburgh had the usual accoutrements: black and yellow wardrobes, Terrible Towel waving, and obnoxious yelling. But you don't often see a player give back as much as Troy Polamalu....

Take The Money And Run
Man in Steelers jacket robs Pittsburgh bank during Super Bowl victory parade. Is foiled when he and the money are sprayed with, appropriately, red dye. [Pittsburgh Post Gazette]...

(Update) ESPN: The High School
Remember Fame? The movie about a high school where kids dance in the street and make out with teachers instead of going to class? This is just like that, only with Chris Berman....

Hey, Did You And I Just Buy Santonio Holmes A New Cadillac Escalade?
Whatever happened to the tradition of General Motors giving the Super Bowl MVP a new car? It happened; it's just that GM wanted to keep the presentation quiet this year. And for good reason....

Young Florida Fan Gets Preview Of College Life
Just guessing, but this is probably exactly how Michael Phelps acted during that South Carolina frat party. (Examines fingers) ... "Is this real life?"...