it Page 1587 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...
Pirates' Pitcher Gets Erotic Massage, But Rockies Get The Happy Ending
One might say that the Pirates tried everything to make rookie Yoslan Herrera feel comfortable on the mound on Saturday in his debut against the Rockies. Some days, nothing works. Of course, this could simply be Bud Selig's random cup check policy we've been hearing about....
In The End, Joey Harrington's Distant Cousin Triumphs
All weekend the world was talking about Greg Norman's resurgence, briefly forgetting what he normally does on Sunday. (Fortunately, he reminded us almost immediately.) Then for about 10 minutes the hot golfer was Britain's Ian Poulter. Even for a split second, Jim Furyk's finish of +10 might have be...
The Normans Have Invaded England Yet Again
Not since 1066 has England been this shocked of a Norman ruling their empire. Greg Norman, winner of the '86 and '93 Opens, is the clubhouse leader after 54 holes with 2-over-par. He was a half-inch from finishing the 18th hole with a chip-in and another few inches from an eagle on 17. A couple more...
Broncos Stink Like A Flower That Stinks Really Bad
Here's a game for you the next time you pick up the sports section of a newspaper. (If people still do that these days. Zing! High five!) Find their local columnist and count how many consecutive one-sentence paragraphs that lead off their article. Today, it's Woody Paige, and the count comes in at ...
Joakim Soria's Nickname Is Blogger Tested, Mexican Approved
It's about time the Kansas City Royals got themselves a bona fide All-Star, after branding Ken Harvey and Mark Redman as such. Joakim Soria is the Royals' scintillating closer, saving 25 of 27 games and sporting a 0.72 WHIP. With stats like that, a guy needs a legendary nickname, and he's got it now...
Fake Exclusive: Will Leitch Wants To Unretire From Deadspin
He holds sports blogging's most heralded records for posts, pageviews, and consecutive days blogged. He also holds the dubious record for most HTML tags left open. Will Leitch stepped down as Deadspin editor last month. But now he's making headlines as he's hinting toward returning to the sports blo...
British Open Update: Nobody's under par, either overall or today. David Duval and Jean Van de Velde are both +10 for the round, and they're still not done scrambling around the green. The lead is a healthy +2, shared by four men including Greg Norman. 2003 Open champion Ben Curtis, at +7, made up a ...
But There's Already An Oklahoma Thunder
It's not much of a surprise to Oklahomans that some derivative of Thunder was going to be the newly relocated Seattle SuperSonics team name, be it Thunderbirds, Thundercats, Thunderpants, or the Fighting Dan Majerles. But it looks like they're just going to go with Thunder. The Oklahoma City Thunder...
Rick Reilly Is Stealing My Material
Rick Reilly uses the celebrity washroom....
Greg Norman Owns the British Open...Your Mom's Heart
Right now Norman's the leader at even par. Of course in 1986 Greg Norman won the "Saturday Slam" by leading all four major tournaments with one day to play. He only managed to win the British Open. He's also the only golfer to have lost a playoff at all four majors. I guess what I'm saying is, Greg ...
British Open co-leader? Rocco F'in Mediate
Fresh off his one-stroke 18 hole playoff loss to Tiger, the man, the myth, the legend, Rocco Mediate clocked in his first round at -1. So if you had a dream that man boobs were going to own the British Open and you rushed to Vegas to lay your money on Phil, you picked the wrong tits....
Mike Ditka's Balance Is Not What It Used To Be
I've never been to a celebrity roast for anyone but I like to think this happens every time. Paul Hornung takes the stage and welcomes the roastee to the rostrum, roastee is wasted, knocks over his own table when standing, and then crumbles to the ground when shoved by Hornung. See Mr. Bear's finest...
Phil Mickelson and John Daly Might As Well Go Get Wasted in a Pub
Rolling into the British Open Phil Mickelson was optimistic this could be his year. By 10:30 eastern, we knew that wasn't the case. The Hefty Left swung his manboobs from one side of the fairway to the other on his way to a robust 79. At least he didn't waste any time taking himself out of competiti...
90-Year-Old Pittsburgh Woman Rocking New Steelers Tat
Probably to cover up for the fact that she can't have wet dreams about Steely McBeam anymore. Now that everyone on earth but me has a tattoo, will old people in the future who don't have tattoos be the exception? Deep thoughts....
Buzz And Me: An FAQ
Those foolish enough to miss the season premiere of "Project Runway" — and those not "connected" enough for ESPY tickets — might have stumbled across the newest episode of "Costas Now" last night. It was entirely about baseball. Hey, I love baseball! That didn't make the show any less dull; that i...
World Cup 2010: South Africa's Plans to Legalize Prostitution Scrutinized
When are John McCain and Barack Obama going to step up to the plate and demand legalization for the Super Bowl? Pansies, I tell you, each of them. The South African plan would only legalize prostitution for the length of the World Cup and then the laws would return to normal. Just like the marriages...
British Open Preview: Living In A World Without Tigers
This year, please welcome back Shane Bacon, golfing bon vivant from Dogs That Chase Cars, as he gives us a fantastic preview to this year's British Open. It can still be interesting without Tiger. Right?...
John Daly and Butch Harmon in Catfight on Eve of British Open
After swing coach Butch Harmon said Daly was more interested in drinking and having a good time than he was in being a good golfer. Daly, who is more interested in drinking and having a good time than being a good golfer, took offense. Now he's finally firing back from England. Sort of....
Tim Lincecum Being Tended To By Paramedics In NYC Hotel?
Apparently, Giants' young gun Tim Lincecum was seen being tended to by paramedics at the Grand Hyatt Hotel in New York City. "Could be just the flu", the tipster said....