l Page 7426 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them a...

Joumana Kidd Goes Nuclear On Jason
So, you know how the whole New Jersey Nets brass was concerned about how ugly the Jason Kidd-Joumana Kidd divorce proceedings might get? Well, The Smoking Gun has Joumana's countersuit to Jason's suit against her, and, holy cow, this thing really escalated fast. It's a huge document, so we're just g...

Blogdome: Trimming Costs At Safeco
• The Seattle Mariners have one pen. [Seattlest] • Who are the five worst players in the NBA? [That's On Point] • The Hawks broadcaster is less than impressed with Rafael Araujo. [Lion In Oil] • Wait ... NOW Barry Zito's changing his entire throwing motion? [Goat Riders Of The Apocalypse] • When fan...

Dice-K Has Some Spring Training Work To Do
Red Sox Monster brings up something that has to give Red Sox fans considerable pause: When he showed up at spring training this week, new Boston pitching savior Daisuke Matsuzaka appeared to be, oh, a little chubbier than one might have expected....

Jay Mariotti Is Devoted To The Art Of Prose
So the other night, in a dark cold lonely room, Jay Mariotti sat alone, doing a little math. He realized that he was required to deliver a certain number of columns by the end of April and, lo, he had already put together the requisite amount. Therefore, even though the next three months include the...

Mike Golic Suffering From Peter Pan Salmonella
So here's something bizarre and sad. You know that salmonella outbreak that has been tied to Peter Pan peanut butter? (And, to a lesser extend, Wal-Mart's "Great Value" house brand?) It hasn't caused any deaths yet, but almost 300 people in 39 states have fallen ill from it....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NBA Insider Chris Sheridan: If you were really an Insider, couldn't you have warned us that Hardaway was insane? • 1:30 p.m. NASCAR with David Newton: All those who have said "This sport isn't rocket science" have now been proven...

What Set Tim Hardaway Off
Yesterday, "Jim Rome Is Burning" showed the famous clip of Tim Hardaway throwing a television monitor onto the court. Our special investigative skills of video editing have uncovered why drew his ire. We should have all seen this coming back then....

No More "Conversation" On Page 2
As many of you noticed yesterday, our friends at ESPN.com have discontinued ESPN Conversation on its Page 2 columns. They're calling it the end of the "Beta" testing, though we're not sure how much sense that makes: Why would you test something on the most easily-commented upon stories just to push ...

NBA Roundup: You Win This Round, LeBron
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Champaign's Long National Nightmare Is Over
As an old lifer at the Daily Illini, no story was less fun to talk about than Chief Illiniwek. We once had our own personal take on the embattled "symbol" of the University of Illinois, but we don't even remember what it was anymore: It was talked about every day, in the most banal and "emotional" t...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while training your sea monkeys ... • NHL: Colorado's Sakic gets magic No. 600 (without help from Victor Conte). • NBA: No, the correct answer was "LeBron." All those who said Kobe do not win a cookie. Cavaliers 114, Lakers 108. • College basketball: Use The Force, Lute ... USC sweep...

Jon Lieber Has A Big-Ass Truck
We'd like to note that Phillies pitcher Jon Lieber is a real man with a real man's truck....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you relax with an ice chest full of beer while wearing an astronaut diaper ... • College basketball: Providence at Notre Dame [ESPN]; Massachusetts at Fordham. Shall Rose Hill Gym not be rocked tonight? [ESPN2] • College basketball: UCLA at Arizona State; Oregon State at Stanford. I...

Leftovers: Backyard Oilers
• This guy REALLY likes the Edmonton Oilers. [Pulled My Groin] • Sam Smith, not a friend of the blogs. [With Leather] • Help find Les Straker! [Find Les Straker] • When OutSports did its 10 most likely gay NBAers in 2001 ... Tim Hardaway was on the list! [Sports By Brooks]...

You, Too, Can Have Your Own Boca Juniors Booster
So here's a grand idea: The notoriously rabid fans of Buenos Aires soccer team Boca Juniors are so renowned for their insane support that they're actually renting themselves out to other countries' teams....

Tim Hardaway, The ESPN Angle
With all the fun we're having Tim Hardaway today, a reader writes in and blames ESPN for the whole thing:...

If You Want Soriano, You Have To Deal With This
We don't like to think of ourselves as stuffy traditionalists ... but this, friends, just makes us sad....

Who's Sorry Now? Naked Hi-Jinx Edition
Simply put, we can think of no more embarrassing yet hilarious opening line to a letter than this:...

Blogdome: College Sports Guy
• Wait, when did Bill Simmons become a college basketball expert? [Chris' Sports Blog] • How the heck is Baylor supposed to stop Kevin Durant? [Bear Meat] • This isn't the first time Dan Hawkins has exploded. [Slushy Gutter] • It is never fun to lose to Duke. [Eagle In Atlanta] • Tommy Amaker, uh, i...