l Page 7450 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Leftovers: Peavy Will Double Park And You Will Like It!
• Jake Peavy is rather particular about where he parks his car. [Stan Musial's Stance] • This is why it's not a good idea for coaches to have blogs. [Times Union] • Hey, remember Ugueth Urbina? [Metsquire] • For a guy so charmingly named, Tootoo is kind of a jerk. [On The Juice]...

The View Is Great From Here!
If you're having any trouble deciding how to vote in the SHOTY Final, or if you're just one of those odd people who have doubted the "You're With Me, Leather" story, we happily present you with these old photos — there's another after the jump — of everybody's favorite children's entertainer Chris B...

Psst, Kid. How Would You Like To Skip Those Burpees?
The plot for the next Harry Potter movie has been leaked, and we've got it: All hell breaks loose at Hogwarts when new instructor Tamara Tootle is caught taking bribes from students to skip PE. No, wait ... that's real, actually....

Cultural Oddsmaker: What Will Tiger Woods Name His Baby?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

You Were Butt-Naked On A Zebra Last Month
Richard said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck my dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" We said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" We said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I sa...

Playoff Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Jets
To think about this game, we like to compare not Eric Mangini and Bill Belichick, but, in fact, Mangini and Tom Brady. We think there might not be too physically different human beings on the planet. One of these days, Mangini should just eliminate the middleman and coach in a mumu....

Blogdome: The End Of SBL In DC
• We will very much miss Mr. Mottram 'sSports Bloggers Live. [Mr. Irrelevant] • Lots of great gambling opportunities this playoff weekend. [Rumors And Rants] • Yeah, this is exactly the guy you want on the cover of this year's calendar. [Futon Report] • Who imploded this NFL season? [Rich Kotite Ban...

Hirshey Quickie: On Zidane, Saddam And Hair
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Art Shell Would Like To Know How Much Toner You Think He Should Order
Oh boy, another position for Pete Carroll to consider. Not that there's anything funny about a guy losing his job, but what amused us about the sacking of Art Shell on Thursday was that Al Davis is going to make him stick around and do office work during the final year of his contract next season,...

Get Out To The Poles And Vote!
In the midst of all this "Can we vote for Mark McGwire for the Hall of Fame?" business, we ask with metaphorically raised eyebrow: If an NBA cheerleader has had any work done, should she be allowed to be voted into the All-Star Game? (Just asking. We're not even that curious, actually.)...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NFL wild card weekend: Another way of saying "Getting the games that suck out of the way in an expedient manner?" • 3 p.m. BCS title game with Dave Curtis: Remind us again why they haven't already played this game? • 4 p.m.. NFL ...

We Still Never Like Calling Him The Big Unit
With the apparent trade of Randy Johnson yesterday back to the Diamondbacks, it becomes clear that something terrifying and disconcerting is happening: The Yankees are continuing to make prudent, measured moves with an eye on the long term. We're through the looking glass, people....

Playoff Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Cowboys
We didn't talk much about this, but the reason for our trip to Argentina? An attempt to further check out the genealogy of Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. (Turns out he is not, in fact, Argentinian.) It's still pretty amazing that Romo is in the Pro Bowl; if the Cowboys lose this game, he's gonna l...

Can You Have Steeltown Without Cowher?
The platitudes people hand out when a prominent figure retires or dies can become so banal and repetitive that one ultimately finds oneself almost disliking the departed as a backlash; see Slate's Jack Shafer's look at how journalists covered Gerald Ford's death, as one example. But we have to say: ...

NBA Roundup: We Welcome Our Dallas Mavericks Overlords
Notes from Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed while launching a mission in your freezer to rescue the frozen peas ... • NHL: After game is tied with two seconds remaining in regulation (sweet), Stars prevail in shootout. • NBA: Elsewhere in OT, Kobe's 42 leads Lakers over Kings. • College basketball: They're not booing, they're ...

SHOTY Final: Chris Berman Vs. Barbaro
Well, while we were gone, the late rush of Barbaro votes came in, and he edged out Carl Monday right after the new year, sending him into the final with, of course, Chris Berman, who has yet to be challenged. We suspect he's in for one now....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the sofa and your ass celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary ... • College basketball: Pittsburgh at Syracuse; Cincinnati at Memphis. They'll be walkin' in Memphis (walkin' in Memphis) ... [ESPN] • College basketball: Arizona at Washington. How much rain would it take to penetrate...

Playoff Pants Party: Colts Vs. Chiefs
Because we're just now back and getting around to previewing these playoff matchups — jeez, we missed the whole playoff picture clearing up; we were gone longer than we realized — we thought we'd toss in one of these playoff previews today so the site isn't run over with them tomorrow....

It's An Amazing Elusive And Powerful Back Who Doesn't Kill Ex-Wives And Waiters
We always found it strange that people were considering anyone other than Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson for the MVP this year; we like Drew Brees as much as anyone — including his mother, of course — but we couldn't imagine not giving it to Tomlinson....