nes Page 434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Weekend Loser: Adam Jones
Orioles centerfielder Adam Jones was wrongly detained by Canadian authorities Thursday night in the first example of Canada's No Criminal Baseball Players Allowed rule, likely because he shares his name with a troublemaking footballer/video game....

Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...

The One Where Mark Sanchez Has A New Miami Waitress
Poise'n: (April15th) So I know the proud father of Sanchez's new flavor of the week. He was showing me cell phone pics of the two the other day. She's a waitress named Lindsey Hughes who works at Club LIV in Miami [GQPhotoshoot]...

The One Where Mark Sanchez Goes To A Graduation Party Tonight
Where The Poise is:Mark Sanchez is in the bay area visiting one of "Football's Fabulous Females" and is supposed to join her for a graduation party at The Saddle Rack in Fremont, CA on Saturday night, 5/29...Requesting anonymity. (GQPhotoshoot)...

The One Where The Elon Baseball Team Will Fight You Over Anything
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

The One Where Nyjer Morgan Poops In A Gatorade Bottle
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

YES Reporter Loses Her Pork Chop To Hungry Fan
Well, here's a first. Kimberly Jones of the YES Network tried to show off Target Field's new "pork chop on a stick" when an amorous Yankee fan got a little too frisky and well....he drinks your pork chop. Video inside....

Albert Haynesworth Was In Love With A Stripper (Until She Got Pregnant)
So now he's not. The Brooklyn woman met Haynesworth at the Super Bowl, but he dumped her in March when she got in the family way. She's suing for $10 million, which is chump change for Dan Snyder employees. [NY Post]...

Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....

White Chocolate Would Really Prefer You Not Violate His Private Space, Mr. Reporter
The frustration of the Magic's poor showing thus far in the conference finals has reached its boiling point. Watch as Jason Williams swears a blue steak at a reporter, and Matt Barnes cannot help but laugh. H/T Jovan....

MLB.com Has Their Dewey Defeats Truman Moment, Then Doesn't
For far too long yesterday (read: at all), MLB.com had a game story up about the Twins easily handling the Brewers, 6-2. Meanwhile, the actual game was still in extra innings, tied at 7....

Finally, A Lady Urinal: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Horse Race Announcer Yells Himself ... Hoarse
Jim Jacques had a little bit of trouble calling this harness race in South Australia over the weekend. The yelling may not have been up to par, but his impression of a asthmatic tracheotomy patient is spot-on. [TabloidProdigy]...

Woody Paige Wants You To Call A Phone Sex Line
Woody Paige, Around The Horn's resident jester, likes to have a little fun on the show with his trusty chalkboard. Today's message: "Advertise Here: 1-800-555-HORN." What do you get when you call? A message from Paige? A phone-sex line? Could be anything....

Preakness Infield Exposé: I See The Blush Upon Thy Ass Cheeks, Maryland!
On Saturday, photographer Andrew Snow and writer Alan Siegel ventured among the bottoms and bottomless mugs of beer in the Preakness infield. Their report and a gallery, after the jump....

Don't Forget to Send In Your Photos and Videos of Preakness Debauchery
Unlimited drinks for $20 means, at the very least, someone's got a picture of a jockey being tossed around like a beach ball against his fiery little will....

Coach Unaware He's Mimicking Dance Squad's Every Move
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Visanthe Shiancoe Wants To Show The World He's More Than Just A Wagging Dong
Yahoo!'s Michael Silver does a double entendre-filled profile on Vikings' tight end Visanthe Shiancoe, who's working hard to overcome his internet long-comings....

Today Is The Preakness, So Send Us Your Photographic Evidence of $20 Debauchery
You know, the usual: Port-a-potty runs, fistfights, "Show. Your. Tits!"-chants, vomiting girls, litter, men running on to the track attempting to cold-cock horses mid-gallop. All that good stuff. Subject: Preakness Mess. And read this excellent story from Triple Canopy....

Gene Simmons Kept His Love Gun In Holster With ESPN Makeup Gal, Suit Claims
Yes, they call him Dr. Love, but he didn't want to meet this ESPN makeup artist, Victoria Jackson, in the Ladies Room. It's Hotter Than Hell, in there. The Firehouse, though? That's fine....