nes Page 445 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

According To This Man's Pus-Filled Foot, The Vikings Are The New Team Of Destiny
Just look at this man's foot. A reader, who wishes to remain anonymous, noticed the throbbing blister resembled the Vikings' helmet horn, thus guaranteeing victory. Or possible amputation due to diabetes, but let's stay positive....

Just Two Horsemen Shy Of An Apocalypse
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The One Where The LA Angels Catcher's Mom Accidentally Shows Her Nipple On New Year's Eve
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Bruce Pearls Sticks Gun Foot In Mouth
Four players suspended after being caught with handguns? No problem, says Pearl. "We still have got weapons." [Kentucky Sports Radio]...

Today In TMZish Sports: Matt Kemp Gets Handsy And A Dwarf Cock-Blocks A Boxer (UPDATE)
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

A Boise State Fiesta Bowl Win Makes Everyone On The Field Amorous (KOGOD Update)
Remember the last time Boise State won the Fiesta, Statue of Liberty hero Ian Johnson got down on one knee and proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. Freshman o-lineman Michael Ames also experienced the spoils of victory....

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: <em>ESPN The Magazine</em>
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

Four Vols Basketball Players Arrested By Police, Suspended By Frequently-Shirtless Coach
Gilbert Arenas isn't the only athlete having gun troubles these days. Four members of the Tennessee Volunteers men's basketball team have been charged with weapon and drug-related offenses stemming from a traffic stop near their campus yesterday....

December: <em>Fin.</em>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from December, ranked low to high...

The One Where Everyone Gets Upset About Adam And Craig James
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another...

Todd Haley Gives Man At Bus Stop A "Stack" Of $20 Bills To Prove He's Not A Tyrannical Nutbag
PFT calls it the Todd Haley "image-bolstering tour", but apparently this story is 100% true. How soon after this will Haley get mugged at the same bus stop now that everyone knows he's carrying wads of cash on him? [KCTV5]...

Of Ridiculous Contracts And Insubordination
The two highest paid players in their respective sports threw hissy fits and were sent home. One will play today; one might not play again. Want to guess which is which? (Hint: the one who's actually still good will play.)...

Last Night's Winner: SMU Mustangs
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like the SMU Mustangs, which exerted as much effort in scoring this prestige as they did in routing Nevada. They had no competition in either regard....

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A Car
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW and NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.)...

Everything You Need To Know About The Coming Minny-pocalypse
"When Favre changes the play at the line of scrimmage Childress bristles, even when the audible Favre calls works perfectly." Chilly's team is on the field. [ESPN]...

TMZ Sports: Prepare For The Next Great "Tabloid War" Or Something
I already have to worry about one scary gay tyrant breathing down my neck, now I have to worry about two? If Brooks is right, TMZ Sports is about to change everything for the better. Or worse....

Favre Is Like A Kid Arguing With His Parents At Toys-R-Us Out There
Fret not, Viking fans. I'm sure the sight of your quarterback arguing with—and then asserting his dominance over—your coach in the middle of Week 15 is no cause for alarm. All Super Bowl champs wilt in December, right?...

Minnesota "Wild Fire" Pun Used in Headline
Oh, here is some non-skeleton racing news, for you! Everything the Minnesota Wild own burst into flames in Canada, yesterday. Everything! Also they all have the flu....

A New, Moderately Offensive Podcast Is Open For Business
Please go take a listen to the Spider And The Henchman show on Adam Carolla's podcast network. I'm honored I was picked to be their first guest. Topics of note: Tiger, Magic's HIV, and Eddie Murphy's tranny parties. Gurgle. [SpiderAndTheHenchman]...

The One With <em>Intense</em> Negotiations About Brett Favre's Butt Tattoo
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....