nes Page 448 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Referee Jerome Boger
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NFL referee Jerome Boger, who must have had something riding on last night's game. Nobody likes Vince Young that much....
Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR]...
University With Weight Requirements Probably Has Terrible Offensive Line
A Pennsylvania college has made BMI as important as GPA when it comes to graduating, and some soon-to-be degree-less fatties are raising a stink....
The One With Jay Mariotti "Napping"
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Maurice Jones-Drew To Miss Fantasy Playoffs Because Of His Brilliant Play
Are you one of the 10,000 (ESPN) fantasy GMs who lost because MJD took a knee rather than score a touchdown? Well, so is he. But remember, he had 145 yards and a TD anyway, so quit bitching. [ESPN]...
Hey Dude In The Back...What Number Is Kansas Ranked?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Manny Pacquiao Will Soon Add "Oscar Winner" To Long List Of Titles
Producers recently released the full trailer for Pacquiao's latest movie—his 10th according to IMDb—and it is a doozy. The film is called Wapakman, and appears to be a semi-autobiographical tale of Manny's life as the world's greatest (only?) Pinoy superhero. It's got monsters, bikini babes, adorabl...
Two Of Three Tennessee Robbers Kicked Off Team
Nu'Keese Richardson and Mike Edwards have been "permanently dismissed" from Tennessee's football team after being arrested for armed robbery last week. (No decision on teammate Janzen Jackson.) So that's the quickest way to squander a football scholarship. [GoVolsXtra]...
Why Pirates Fans Are The Luckiest Fans In The World
A new study of sports fan psychology concludes that fans who have the most negative emotions toward their team's prospects, get the most enjoyment out of games. So treasure your angst ... because it's more fun that way....
Crazy Old Man Gives Bills The Bird
Unfortunately, that grumpy coot just happens to be the owner of the Tennessee Titans and his affinity for the ol' double deuce is now immortalized on YouTube. If you have hands, feel free to nervously wring them....
Timberwolves GM Wants Fans To Know He Is Aware Of How Much Team Sucks
Mired in a nine-game slide, the Timberwolves are struggling to get acclimated to Kurt Rambis' triangle offense. Further, the team stinks. So, GM David Kahn did the only sensible thing - he wrote a letter to the team's 10 fans....
Your Early Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
You got Tennessee-Ole Miss on CBS. Go forth and watch collegiate football. Drink beer if you wish. Try to avoid getting arrested....
The One Where The Texas Rangers Inform Us Their Six-Shooters Are Not Whores
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Tennessee Football Players Commit Armed Robbery While Wearing Tennessee Clothing
Three members of Lane Kiffin's much-hyped freshman class were arrested early this morning after robbing someone at a convenience store....in the middle of the Tennessee campus....while wearing Tennessee-branded football clothing. What's the opposite of a perfect crime?...
You Better Learn To Recognize Michigan's AD, Honey
Since picking on Rich Rodriguez has become a little too easy lately, here's a new plotline for Michigan mockers to pursue....athletic director Bill Martin reduced to pulling the "Do you know who I am?" routine in his own stadium....
Metrodome Memories Are A Little Pathetic
Since the Twins have a fancy new field, it was time to get rid of all the leftover stuff at the Metrodome. A phrase comes to mind: "And nothing of value was lost."...
I Bet Rich Rodriguez Could Sure Use A Couple Of Boilermakers Right About Now
Michigan lost to Purdue 38-36 at the Big House, the first time to Purdue since 1966. The Wolverines have now lost three straight and five consecutive Big Ten games. Even worse? Rich Rod got punked at midfield after the game....
Finally, Kobe Bryant Accomplishes Something
By scoring 41 points last night, Bryant became the youngest player ever to reach 24,000 points. The commenter who best incorporates this into an anal sex joke gets a +1 or whatever is behind Door No. 3. [USA Today]...
Cornell Business School: Home Of All Sorts Of Savory Juices
Yes, this has nothing to do with sports whatsoever. This is just completely embarrassing and awful and you won't be able to stop reading it: You're my hero!!!! My knight in shining armor!!! My private porn star!!!!! [GuestOfAGuest via Gawker]...
The One Where The Spirited Phillies Fan Leaves Us A Phone Message
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another...