nes Page 451 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baseball Update!
Oh, shit, the Twins just scored four runs. And they look great in those throwbacks! Though honestly you see so many TC hats these days (even in New York!) that I'm seriously missing the lowercase M. Poor Greinke :(...

The One With The Overabundance Of Crotch
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Minnesota Takes Characteristically Polite Umbrage At Sign-Stealing Allegations
You saw the video this morning. The Twins have responded with amusement and gentle outrage at any suggestion that Joe Mauer might've been relaying signs from second base like some Navy signalman on the flight deck of the Nimitz....

Think There's No Cheating In Baseball?
Here's Joe Mauer, in Tuesday night's game, blatantly tipping pitches from second base. Trust me when I say there's nothing extraordinary about this sort of thing. [Via Total Pro Sports]...

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Favre Did It!
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Our Long National Nightmare Is Over: Reggie And Kim, Together Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Couple Christens Dallas Cowboys Stadium's New Bathroom Stalls
Some of you who follow my infrequently updated Twitter account may have seen a report from a friend about a video of two people doing the North Texas rumpy-pump in the bathroom at the MNF game. It has arrived. (NSFW)...

Tigers And Twins Desperately Trying To Make You Care About Baseball
The 2009 baseball season has been a bit of a dud, drama-wise. So how about a final week double-header that will MEAN EVERYTHING! Or change everything. Or solve nothing? I forget how these dramatic finishes are supposed to work....

Overhyped Week 4 NFL Grudge Match? This Calls For A DEADSPIN FIELD TRIP
As you know, on Sunday Brett Favre Favred the Favres to a thrilling Favrory by Favring a last-second Favre to Greg Brett Favre. It was real sandFavre footFavre. He was a like a Favre out there!...

"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....

You're Not Dispelling Any Stereotypes Here, CFL
Think that Browns rookie was pissed? After a practice spat, a CFL lineman stormed off the field, then returned waving a shovel. What a uniquely Canadian way to settle an argument. [AP]...

Cowboys Repent For "Party Pass" Hell (Sort Of)
We reported on the special circle of hell the Cowboys reserved for their Party Pass holders on Sunday. Almost a week later, Jerry Jones is finally owning up to the mayhem which, in Jerry's defense, made the record books....

The One With Sympathy For The Salisbury
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Yukkks: Bruce Pearl Apologizes For Klan Joke
Pearl, the chuckling Rotarian nuisance who is approximately one Holocaust clown movie removed from Jerry Lewis, recently told a zinger at a fundraiser that might've gone over better if he hadn't suggested that some of his Tennessee constituents were Klansmen....

Hines Ward Clearly Enjoyed Almost Decapitating A Man
After Hines Ward broke Keith Rivers' jaw with a nasty blindside block last year, the NFL implemented something called "The Hines Ward Rule", outlawing high blind side hits. Hines Ward won't abide, but he thinks it's pretty cute....

$1.3 Billion And Not A Decent Boiler In The Place
Giants LB Danny Clark: "There's not a lot of hot water in there. (Jones) cut some corners in the bathroom there...It was lukewarm at best." [Newsday]...

How Did That "Party Pass" Work Out For Everyone?
All you haterz out there who predicted that selling 30,000 standing room tickets for Cowboy games would turn their new stadium into a lawless Thunderdome? Yeah, you were completely right....

Lane Kiffin Just Can't Stop Himself From Being Himself
Urban Meyer tells media several players had the flu during their 23-13 victory over Tennessee. Lane's response. "I don't know. I guess we'll wait and after we're not excited about a performance, we'll tell you everybody was sick." [Tennessean viaTruthRumors]...

I'm Sure He Has The Same Heidi Watney Airbrush On The Side Of His Van
Well, maybe it's her uncle. A very proud, very creepy uncle. There's a chance of that, right? [Busted Coverage]...

This Must Have Looked Awesome On The Jerrytron
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....