nes Page 459 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The L.A. Times Pens The Mother Of All Steroid Columns
Here it is, folks. Served up piping hot by Kurt Streeter in Sunday's Los Angeles Times — the platonic ideal of a steroid-outrage column....
Yeah, Bert Blyleven Ate Those Worms
Gee, I wonder why this guy isn't in the Hall Of Fame yet? (It was all for charity, folks.) And where is angry press release from PETA? [Sportress of Blogitude]...
Real Men Swing Pink Bats
MLB is breaking out pink bats again in honor of Mother's Day and to support breast cancer awareness. To promote early screening, doctors will be giving a lifetime of free mammograms to Arod and Manny....
There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....
The One With Rick Pitino, Karen Sypher And The Bizarre Love Triangle Rumors
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...
Is Brett Favre Coming Back Out Of Spite?
You didn't think you were getting away with zero Brett Favre news today did you? My favorite angle of the saga? Favre only wants to play again so he can screw with Ted Thompson....
Should Lane Kiffin Be Recruiting Convicted Rapists?
So far, Lane Kiffin's numerous recruiting shenanigans have been adorably goofy and pointless, but his latest controversy is so serious and meaningful and worthy of mindful debate that I kind of prefer the other kind....
And Here We Go Again....Brett Favre-To-Vikings Rumors Get Werder-Ized
Last year's Summer Of Favre hijacked the sports media universe, and this year is shaping up to be more of the same, possibly worse: Yes, Brett Favre is talking to the Vikings....
Bert Blyleven In "How To Eat Fried Worms"
MEDIA ALERT: Bert Blyleven will eat a live nightcrawler in front of Metrodome fans before the Twins-Mariners game on Saturday. Plan your weekend accordingly. [Two Big Boobs]...
Albert Haynesworth Sued, But No Hard Feelings
The man injured in a car accident involving Albert Haynesworth is suing the Titans lineman for $7.5 million. "He's the man, but I'm still not mad. I don't have anything against him." [Tennessean]...
Sorry Ladies: Bruce Pearl Is Off The Market!
Hearts are a-breakin' all across the Smokies today as Bruce Pearl has announced that he's affianced to lady friend Brandy Miller. Do they sell creamsicle-colored tuxedo shirts? [Knoxville News Sentinel]...
Warm Your Butt In The Dice-K Memorial Bathrooms
The Boston Red Sox paid the Seibu Lions $51.1 million for the right to take Daisuke Matsuzaka off their hands. So what did they do with the money? New toilet seats for everyone!...
The Time Is Right For America's Baddest Horse Trainer
Ok, this has been bugging me since Saturday, so I have to ask—was trainer Bennie Woolley Jr. carrying a gun at the Kentucky Derby? (Probably not—but wouldn't it have been great if he had been?)...
One Cowboys' Scouting Assistant Paralyzed Due To Practice Facility Collapse
Two other staffers also required surgery to mend their broken body parts. Jerry Jones was reported to be "somber" after hearing the news. [AP/LA Times]...
The Percy Harvin Era In Minnesota Gets Off To A Rousing Start
From annoyed emailer: "Supposedly percy vomitted on a plane a few times and stayed the night at a hospital in florida. They have tested for swine flu and it came back negative. Again, via KFAN."...
The One Where An ESPN Commenter Makes The Moves On Rachel Nichols (Update)
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...
Chris Mortensen's Son Signs With Tennessee, Chris Mortensen Does Not Report
Anonymous sources close to the Titans have told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that the team signed Arkansas fourth-string QB Alex Mortensen as an undrafted free agent. His own son did not return calls requesting comment. [ArkansasBusiness]...
New Jersey Would Probably Like That Last Minute Back
It's one thing to give up the game-tying goal in the last 1:20 of a Game 7, but to give up a game-tying and game-winning goal in the last 1:20—that's probably going to haunt you....
Andre Smith Needs Your Support, Both Emotionally And Areolically
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...