nes Page 499 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Raccoons On Reign Of Terror
Most any parent with an older teenaged child knows the drill. First comes that phone call at midnight from a downtown police precinct, notifying you that there has been a mishap with your car. Then comes the question: How did our son/daughter get the keys? Now the Tennessee Titans front office can r...

T-Rac Is Probably Not Going To The Pro Bowl This Year
You wouldn't think that the responsibilities of a mascot would be too difficult to handle. Be nice to kids, jump around like an idiot when the home team scores, clutch your chest and act like you're dying when the away team scores, and throw out some cheap-ass team merchandize to fans who will act...

Welcome To The Metrodome. Here's Some Hair
Proving once again that the line between minor league and major league promotions is getting blurrier by the minute, Minnesota Twins fans donned synthetic facial hair on Thursday during Joe Mauer Sideburn Night in the team's game with the Toronto Blue Jays. The first 10,000 fans arriving at the Me...

The Closer: Finally, Some Power In Minnesota
Notes from a day in baseball:...

"You Want Me To Do That With You?"
The mad geniuses at Free Darko aren't taking the summer off: They're finding absolute gems like this video, which features Timberwolves superstar Kevin Garnett gets his Bob Harris on while visiting an Asian television show....

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Big Ten
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and...

The Closer: Twins, Twins Everywhere
Notes from a day in baseball:...

The Closer: It's A Joe, Out Of Control
Notes from a day in baseball ......

Boyz N The U
There was some drama on The U's campus yesterday, as Hurricanes safety Willie Cooper was shot in the ass. His roommate and teammate, Brandon Meriweather, in a move that would make Ray Lewis proud, then "pulled a pistol from his pants pocket and fired three times at the person," according to the AP...

A Game Grows In Brooklyn
One of our favorite places to watch a baseball game is KeySpan Park in Coney Island, Brooklyn, home of the Brooklyn Cyclones. It's small, intimate and yet still has the carnival atmosphere we love minor league baseball games to have. Well, yesterday, they had the ultimate baseball experience: They...

Kellen Winslow, Soldier (In Pads, And With Free School And A Big Contract And Little Chance Of Actually, You Know, Being Killed)
So we'd never actually seen this old video of Kellen Winslow Jr., after a Miami game against Tennessee. He is answering a question about whether or not a player he leveled with a devastating block was hurt. And we get confirmation that Kellen Winslow, tight end for an Ohio football team, is a soldie...

That Ref Is Not A Pirate; He's Just Blind
We don't ask much of referees in our sports: They should be fair, they should try to avoid taking away from the action on the field, they should, in a pinch, be able to prance around a bit. And, not to be a stickler, it would be nice if they had two working eyes....

The Diligent Fact-Checking Of Sports Radio
Dan Serafini was a journeyman pitcher in the late '90s, not doing much to distinguish himself, save for maybe being traded for Brandon Pernell. (Note: Brandon Pernell is no one of note.) But a Cubs fan looking to muse on all matters bloggish decided to name his site Serafini Says, because he used ...

Eddie Griffin's Odd Film Choices
In case you were in desperate need of some of the inside details of the Eddie Griffin masturbating in his car story — and, obviously, you were, because what person in his right mind isn't? — the official PDF version of the complaint in the lawsuit against him has been released. Our personal favori...

Joe Mauer: Man Muscles, And Stylish Classics, For Every Moment
We'll admit it; we love Bat-girl. She would be our one and only Internet squeeze, if it wasn't for our desperate, wholly inappropriate cyber crush on Ashley Harkleroad. One reason that Bat-girl is the best: She recently gave us this, the Joe Mauer Fashion Spread from Travel and Leisure Magazine. Y...

Eddie Griffin Needs To Mind His Surroundings
OK, so we formally apologize for taking until 10 a.m. today to get to this. It's been a busy morning....

Expanding The NCAA's Grip On Your Life
The men's NCAA basketball tournament is the one major postseason event that seems perfect. It's not possible for it to fail. It will be exciting. There will not be controversy about the champion. It is the single greatest gambling event that has ever existed. And there are coaches out there who want...

This *&%$*% Rocks!
We didn't believe it when we first heard it, so we checked in with Off Wing Opinion and, sure enough, they heard it too. The Hurricanes' Ray Whitney, as he raised the Stanley Cup Monday night: "This f*&%$*% rocks!" Yes, it does. Fine sentiments indeed on what at first looked like a Carolina sweep,...

Rather Worthwhile Hockey Game Tonight, We Think
We know we haven't been the most attentive observers of the NHL, like, at all this year, but we think even those involved in the running of the league would have to agree that it appears a wave has crested, and we're all going to need a while until the NHL excites us again. It happens. No one should...

And There Shall Be A Game Seven
The Edmonton Oilers housed the Carolina Hurricane Whalers last night, cruising to an easy 4-0 victory. And thus, there will be a Game 7, and it will be good....