ow Page 1009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dwight Howard Out For Game Six, Magicians Everywhere Mourn
Dwight Howard has been suspended one game for getting all elbow-y on Philly's Samuel Dalembert. (Rajon Rondo? It's all good!) I hope we all learned something valuable here. [Orlando Sentinel; Chicago Tribune; WFNY]...

The War On Braylon Edwards' Manhood
Does Braylon Edwards care more about his image than he does about catching footballs? Because lately it seems that he's not doing a very good job of protecting either one....

The Cowboys Picked Themselves Another Winner
Meet David Beuhler, place kicker out of USC and fifth-round draft selection of the Dallas football organization. I want to party with you and your miniature horse, Cowboy. [Dallas Morning News]...

Fun Conspiracy Theories About ESPN.com's Pony Attack
Several emailers have pointed out an odd coincidence between ESPN.com's cornification and an interview featuring America's Sideline Princess. We may have our first real suspect....

Matt Vasgersian Speaks!: Not A Racist, Just A Terrible Comedian
"I'm an idiot...Save the racial stuff which is just flat out wrong, almost all of what has been posted on my regrettably horrific timing is spot on...Nobody feels worse about it than I do." [KSK]...

Horse Killed In Collision At Churchill Downs
A 2-year-old filly died at Churchill Downs Monday after another horse collided with her during a training session. The collision was caught on video, but it's not for the squeamish....

The TeeBow Will Be In All The Ladies' Pants This Fall
I don't even want to contemplate the number of licensing agreements that are being violated here, but Tim Tebow-inspired ladies underwear is now available. I hear they come pre-soaked. (Sorry.) [TeeBows; via Deuce of Davenport]...

Softball Season Brings Out The Best And Worst In Everyone
A good portion of New Yorkers join softball leagues for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....

Matt Vasgersian Continues To Have Trouble With Live Television
Brad Hawpe was carted off the field last night after being hit hard with an errant pick-off throw. It was scary moment, made more awkward by Matt Vasgersian's subtle, yet poorly executed brand of "humor."...

Kenny Powers Part IV
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Post-Marathon Interview Is The Biggest Endurance Test Of All
Kara Goucher, you just finished third in the Boston Marathon. Would you mind standing still for five minutes while my incompetent news crew gets their act together? And may I call you Sara?...

OK, Just How Did Michael Crabtree Slip To No. 10 In The Draft?
As if from a Dickens novel, the 49ers found Michael Crabtree in a basket on their porch on Saturday with a note pinned to his blanket: One receiver, courtesy of Mr. Al Davis, Esq....

Throwback Uniforms That Will Possibly Make You Want To Throw Up
If there's one thing that history has taught us, it's that mustard yellow and brown are excellent choices for professional sports uniform colors. See, this is why I miss you, American Football League....

And Now The Bill Cosby-Erin Andrews Comedy Minute
This is what happens when you try to put on 15 hours of continuous live coverage of an inherently boring event. Like there weren't already enough senile old men rambling at NFL Live desk....

Stephen A. Smith Still Has Remarkable Confidence That Stephen A. Smith Can Continue Being Stephen A. Smith
Stephen A. Smith is taking his ESPN loser's lap to the airwaves, but is still passionately promoting STEPHEN A. THE BRAND to whomever gives him the opportunity to talk about himself....

Goodell: Super Bowl In London? Are You High?
Did my eyes deceive me, or did the BBC report this morning that the Super Bowl is coming to London? Yep, here it is. Boy was Roger Goodell surprised when he found out....

New Mouth Guard Is Effective, And Most Importantly, Stylish
Look closely the next time Eric Byrnes steps in the batter's box. Focus in on his face, examine his mouth. Do you see it? Um no, I refuse to do this. Next question?...

Girl, 12, Throws Perfect Game, Is Called Up By Mets
The taunting rings in your ears and burns like fire, and will for years. A girl pitched a perfect game against your Little League team, and you struck out three times. Nelson Muntz approves....

Our Two Greatest Leaders Make A Pact To Save The World
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap (Photo: Orlando Sentinel)...

It's Nap Time When Timmy McGee SAYS It's Nap Time
When site banners and headlines collide, the results can be somewhat amusing. Meet the deceptively muscled tykes of the Trigg County powerlifting team. I'm guessing that's Timmy McGee in the yellow shirt. [TCPS]...