ow Page 1111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oprah, Thome And The Self-Cleaning Oven
It's pretty rare that the epic comedic trilogy of Oprah Winfrey, douching and White Sox slugger Jim Thome unite for a good ole middle-aged Midwesterner gigglefest ... but today is that day....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as anti-terror dolphins work to keep our shorelines safe ... • College basketball: Kentucky at Tennessee; Michigan at Michigan State. Hey you fans, no rough horseplay! [ESPN] • College basketball: Texas Tech at Texas A&M. Coach Knight, is it OK if I skip tonight's game to attend my lit...
Deep, DEEP Inside The Westminster Dog Show
Starting yesterday and concluding today, the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden features the finest athletic specimens at MSG since ... well, since the last Dog Show. We don't consider competitive dog preening a sport, but we do find it funny, and we think Best In Show is one of the funni...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your guitar gently weeps ... • College basketball: Louisville at Pittsburgh; Oklahoma State at Texas [ESPN]; Santa Clara at Gonzaga. This game's gonna end really late. Do we have enough weed? [ESPN2] • College women's basketball: Texas at Oklahoma. What is this teamwork and fundamen...
To Watch Tonight...
• NBA. Bulls @ Suns. It doesn't look like Nash will play, but Kirk Hinrich is happy to step in and fill you need for a speedy white point guard. 8:00, ESPN. • The 49th Annual Grammy Awards. Stephen Colbert is hosting... so there's that. 8:00, CBS. • Drag Racing. I think they mean those long, goofy l...
The Underrated Legs Of Rex Grossman
The good people at SomethingAwful threw together some inspired Super Bowl photoshop work. And because it's excellent and because I'm having a difficult time letting go of football, I cobbled together a few of my favorite into the above image... I hope they don't mind....
I Guess Sean Taylor Doesn't Watch A Lot Of Pro Bowls
I thought that sort of thing was illegal in Pro Bowls. Defenses aren't allowed to blitz, there are fines for things like running fast, blocking, trying hard, or expressing a desire to compete. I guess Sean Taylor didn't get the memo... he went after Brian Moorman like Moorman stole his ATV....
Today Is Hawaiian Shirt Day
The Pro Bowl will be kicking off any minute now, and I can't wait for this dazzling affair. Conference supremacy and pride are on the line, and that's fantstic. But really, today's about sportsmanship and togetherness, because no matter what happens at the game, everyone's getting a free lei. And I ...
To Watch Tonight...
• College Basketball: Florida @ Kentucky. There is no one better to spend a Saturday evening with than Tubby Smith. 9:00, ESPN. • NFL: Game of the Week, Super Bowl XLI. Chicago Bears vs. Indianapolis Colts. Unless you're a groupie with low standards, this may be your last chance to see Rex Grossman ...
And To Think That In Some Countries, These Dogs Are Eaten
The Temple Owls aren't having much of a year, so Bill Cosby's got some time on his hands. And what better way to fill that time than becoming a dog show person? The Cos has an entry in the upcoming Westminster Dog Show ... not just any entry, but a favorite to win. Bill Cosby is the anti-Ron Artest....
Wade Phillips Made a Hot Daughter
The Cowboys' hiring of Wade Phillips as their new head coach drew an underwhelming response from the general public. Reactions ranged from yawns to "What the?!" to "At least it's not Norv Turner." There was a distinct lack of enthusiasm or glee....
Tim Duncan is Not Tall Enough
Dwight Howard is getting all the credit for this, and sure ... Dwight Howard's freakish abilities speak for themselves. But how about that lob from Hedo Turkoglu? Magic Johnson couldn't have done it better. Picture perfect. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's the best contribution to basket...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while enjoying the convenience and comfort of your super-absorbant astronaut adult undergarment ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Eddie Chambers vs. Derrick Rossy, at Selden, N.Y. Aww, they're eating the same Snickers bar. We want our money back. [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Nextel Cup, Bu...
This Looks Like A Job For Jack Bauer
OK, Grandma ... put your hands in the air ... slowly ... step away from the bingo machine ... put down the knitting needles ... we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. It's your choice....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you mourn the loss of Anna Nicole ... • Auto racing: NASCAR Nextel Cup, Budweiser Shootout Selection Show, at Daytona Beach, Fla. We've just discovered that there is something called NASCAR Fantasy League. God, why hast thou forsaken us? [Speed Channel] • College basketball: Notre D...
Tony Romo Gets Back On The Horse
So it's bad enough that Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo still plans on being at the Pro Bowl this weekend, after that rather unfortunate misstep that ended Bill Parcells' coaching career and brought shame upon the great Eastern Illinois University. But guess what? They're actually gonna ask him to hol...
When Will The Media Elite Stop Tearing Down Our White Heroes?
Every debate needs comic relief, and God bless him, Rush Limbaugh is always good for that. The former director of promotions for the Kansas City Royals in the early 1980s, and at one time the word's fifth-leading importer of OxyContin (behind Brazil), Limbaugh has become in recent years obsessed wit...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you lead your troops across the Rubicon, if you know what we mean ... • College basketball: Georgetown at Louisville; North Carolina at Duke. Ah, don't worry. There'll be tickets available at the gate. [ESPN] • College basketball: Illinois at Northwestern. Live, from Evanston! Hey, ...
Prepare For The Pink Taco In '08
It's never too early, friends: Time to get your thinking caps on about Super Bowl XLII! That's right, next year's Super Bowl — which we will not be glogging — will be at the Buzzsaw Pink Taco Stadium, and they've already come up with the logo. It's not quite Olympic-level Nightmare Fuel — he looks l...
Hey, Why Is Kenny Chesney Suddenly Calling Me?
In our original neck of the woods in Mattoon, Ill., NFL loyalties are rather split. Some people root for the Chicago Bears (four hours away), some root for the Indianapolis Colts (90 minutes away) and some odd souls hopped on the Rams bandwagon (two hours away). (Some insane people stuck with the fo...