ow Page 1137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the price of gas exceeds the price of real estate ... • NFL: Giants at Patriots. It's the final exhibition game, so expect to see a lot of QB Jared Lorenzen. • College football: Central Florida Cannon Fodder at South Carolina Spurriers. • MLB: Tigers at White Sox. One of these teams...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch on your freshly looted high-definition TV ... • Boxing: Malcolm Tann vs. Derek Bryant heavyweight clinchfest. • MLB: Cardinals at Marlins. Do we feel Baseball Fever coming on? Nope, it's just the humidity. • U.S. Open Tennis. Because real sports get us too worked up....
Terrell Owens Update: Still Keeping It Real
We haven't checked in on Terrell Owens for a while; how's it goin', Terrell? Well, looks like he and Donovan McNabb still aren't talking, which isn't a big deal, since we can't imagine their level of discourse is all that high anyway. ("Donovan, I'm concerned about the lack of geopolitical debate ...
Blogdom's Best: Arena League Shenanigans
News and Views From 40-Year Old Virgins ... • Apparently, they pay you enough in the Arena Football League to afford cocaine. Who knew? [Can't Stop The Bleeding] • Mets fans are losing their collective shit. [Faith and Fear in Flushing] • It just looks kind of weird, the White Sox having a magic num...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch After You've Been Cut By The Denver Broncos ... • MLB: A's at Angels. Doesn't it seem that these teams play each other every day? • WNBA Playoffs. The excitement is palpable.* • U.S. Open tennis. Hey, why is the court blue? * = may not be true....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Instead Of Endless Hurricane News ... • Monday Night (Exhibition) Football: Rams at Lions. Remember when they wore the yellow sportscoats with the circle on the pockets? We're wearing one now. • MLB: Dodgers at Cubs. Look ... all the Chicago players are vomiting milk. • U.S. Open, Day ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Remembering That Tonight's Yet Another Anniversary Of A Breakup ... · Toronto Blue Jays at New York Yankees. You know how they used to say every egg you ate took five minutes off your life. We think Yankees losses are like that with George Steinbrenner, except it's like an hour. ...
A Different Kind Of White Sox
Wondering why the White Sox have been playing so poorly lately? It's the panties. Perhaps we should elucidate. Apparently, ChiSox outfielder Timo Perez, to help end a slump, has been hanging "extra-large panties" around the clubhouse in an attempt to pull the team out of its tailspin....
Larry Bowa, Civic Wonder
To combine reality and fantasy for a moment, ESPN analyst Larry Bowa has been named a Distinguished Little League Graduate award. In response, the ever-refined Larry Bowa responded through the great Yard Work:...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...
Stomach Stapling Browns Fans. There Is No God
OK, we know SI's Peter King is losing weight like mad and everything, so it's obviously on its mind. He still has a pretty amazing scoop in MMQB today:...
Leftovers: Gates Back, Not Back, We're Confused
· Chargers tight end Antonio Gates signs contract but suspended for first game. Fantasy owners tiptoe toward ledge. [San Diego Union-Tribune] · Felix Potvin will not play in Russia. Neither will Antonio Gates, actually. [Eklund's Hockey Rumors] · Browns trade receiver to Patriots, guaranteeing immed...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Secretely Believing Your iPod Is Trying To Kill You · Arizona Diamondbacks at St. Louis Cardinals. Tomorrow night, we will be at Busch Stadium. Tonight, we'll be putting together shelves. Tomorrow wins. · New Orleans Saints at New England Patriots. When ESPN Classic repeats this ...
T.O. Mania Continues To Ensue
This little kid, "Jeremy," claims to be Terrell Owens' biggest fan, but one who is saddened by his current exploits. Still, he's selling T-shirts (of course) that say "F.U.T.O. (For You, T.O.)" on his Web site. We love it when Philly fans get all clever and figure out how to use the computer....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Dislodge Your Remote From The Dog ... · 2005 World Series of Poker: Watch that river flop! OK, we have no idea what that means. · Little League Softball: Pssst: The kid with the beard is juicing. · Collegetowns: Life In College Football: Yeah, they're just looking for s...
Leftovers: Those Dead Twins
· Twins pretty much toast this year. Fans of vanilla baseball cry, everyone else does the wave. [ESPN] · Dorky Northwestern grad handicaps the Big Ten. [Si.com] · Eagles write T.O. a "very strongly worded letter." Take that. [Philly.com]...
In Other News, Mel Gibson Will Be Negotiating The Gaza Resettlement
We know this was a few days ago, but we just can't help ourselves: Rush Limbaugh wants to help Eagles combatants Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens get together....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch after those four foolish words: "I'm going all in." ... · Where players are still using the juice — usually grape: Little League Southwest Regional final. · Lions at Jets: Mike Heimerdinger unveils new offense, Chad Pennington ruins it. · Light welterweight slap and tickle: Donald Cama...
Ozzie Guillen, Sexual Profiler
According to resident no-fun-guy Rick Morrissey at the Chicago Tribune, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen might be a little too loosey-goosey with how he jokes around with his friends....
Leftovers: Hey, Where's My Wallet?
· Tiger flat, Mickelson all that. [Bloomberg] · Oh, no you di'n't ... McNabb blasts T.O. [Philly.com] · I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today. Someone in this room ... is a thief!: UConn guard arrested. [SI.com] · U.S. finally passes Ethiopia in World Track medal count: Gatlin l...