ow Page 833 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Every Single Pitch Of Jose Canseco's Worcester Tornadoes Debut (Spoiler: It Didn't Go Well)
Intrepid tipster Kevin M. dutifully recorded every single pitch of Jose Canseco's long-awaited, much-anticipated, expectations-shattering debut tonight with the independent Worcester Tornadoes, who traveled south to face the Newark Bears. Alas, America's favorite semi-retired, ball-playing hug mac...

Deconstructing Jimmy Johnson's Commercial For Medically Ineffective Penis Pills
It's one thing to sling Viagra, like Rafael Palmeiro and Mark Martin used to do. It's quite another to hawk Extenze, the "natural male enhancement pill" that has no evident medical benefits. But that doesn't stop the shameless Jimmy Johnson. These commercials have aired since 2010, but no one had ...

Here You Go, PR Guy For Some Player NFL Teams No Longer Want
This email popped into our tips inbox just a little while ago:...

No, NPR Veteran Nina Totenberg Was Not Removed From The Roger Clemens Trial For Eating Potato Chips
Word was circulating yesterday that Nina Totenberg, the 68-year-old legal-affairs reporter for NPR and the doyenne of the Supreme Court press corps, had gotten tossed out of the Roger Clemens trial for eating potato chips. At least, that's what we heard from a tipster....

Newspaper's HS Softball Season Wrap-Up Includes No Stats, "Due To The Coach's Bullshit And Laziness."
So this is one of those Twitter things, without much backstory. (We saw it here first.) But the team in question is the Rayne (Louisiana) High Lady Wolves, the coach is Deserea Dunn, and the paper is, we think, the Rayne Independent. The Lady Wolves crashed out of the district playoffs last month, s...

A Commemorative GIF Of Brett Lawrie's "Unlucky" Helmet Spike That Hit Umpire Bill Miller And Earned Him A Four-Game Suspension
Blue Jays infielder Brett Lawrie will sit out the next four games after throwing a tantrum on home plate umpire Bill Miller during the ninth inning of Toronto's game against Tampa Bay. "It took a bad hop and hit him totally by accident," stated Lawrie, who appealed the suspension though he does pla...

Hookers Aren't Free, So Lawrence Taylor Is Auctioning Off One Of His Super Bowl Rings
We're seeing this more and more from famous athletes, whether it's because of financial straits, some sort of hassle, or reasons unexplained: Tommie Smith, Rashaan Salaam, Julius Erving, Ray Guy, David Wells, and Orel Hershiser—to name a few—have all in recent years put some item of cherished memora...

Yes, Chicago's ABC Affiliate Identified Metta World Peace As "Lakers Idiot"
Last night the internets buzzed about the veracity of a photo showing the lower third graphic from a TV newscast identifying Lakers ne'er-do-well Metta World Peace as "Lakers Idiot." Our pals over at Busted Coverage asked this morning if it was real, and as the video above will show you, it is in...

Acrobatic Rays Fan Does Header Onto The Field, But Gets The Foul Ball
Pro tip: If you're going to reach down onto the field of play to scoop up a foul ball, make sure that you have everything on your person securely stowed, so that when you fall over the railing like a boob and everyone gets a good laugh at your bumbling imbalance, it's not also because everything in ...

In Attempting To Throw Tonight's Rangers First Pitch, Gary Sinise Showed Lieutenant Dan Has No Arm, Either
Gary Sinise was on hand before today's A's-Rangers game from Arlington to toss out the game's first pitch and promote his veterans' charities. Unfortunately, the CSI:NY star's throw suffered from The Big Bounce though it was, eventually, corralled at home plate. [FSSW]...

Notre Dame LB Arrested At House Party Allegedly Told Cop, "My People Will Get You"
Notre Dame quarterback Tommy Rees initially was the one who looked like he was in deep shit after what allegedly happened when cops broke up a huge off-campus house party two weeks ago. Rees faces misdemeanor charges including resisting arrest and battery, though prosecutors did reduce that latter c...

What Does Buck Showalter Think Is The Hardest Job In Baseball?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: It's not the O's job....

Better Know An Umpire: Bill Miller
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

The Padres And Nationals Were Ready To Resume Play, But Three Of The Umpires Were Nowhere To Be Found
Umpires often like to say they're doing their jobs when no one notices them. But Tony Randazzo, Alan Porter, and Larry Vanover weren't trying to prove themselves when they literally disappeared for a moment yesterday at Nationals Park....

Umpire Bill Miller Has Bad Night, Gets Hit First By Brett Lawrie's Helmet And Then A Blue Jays Fan's Beer
In what's turning out to be a bad day for MLB umpires, Bill Miller—behind the plate for tonight's Rays-at-Jays matchup in Toronto—suffered the wrath of Brett Lawrie's helmet after the Blue Jays third baseman took issue with Miller's strike zone....

New York Sports-Radio Boob Mike Francesa Thinks It "Should Be Against The Law" For Athletes And Media People To Tweet
Earlier today, New York sports-talk blowhard Mike Francesa blew extra hard on a topic he should probably avoid in the future: Twitter....

Carlos Lee Couldn't Get To The Ball, So He Tackled An Umpire Instead
Charlie Manuel's profane stare-down with Bob Davidson wasn't the only hilarity involving an umpire during today's Astros-Phillies matinee. Way back in the bottom of the first, Jimmy Rollins led off by bouncing a ball down the line, where it rolled just beyond the reach of Carlos Lee, whose next move...

Bob Davidson's Ejection Of Charlie Manuel Today Featured More F-Bombs Than A Tarantino Film
Umpire Bob Davidson added insult to injury for the Phillies today when, after obstructing catcher Brian Schneider's attempts to retrieve a dropped third strike from hurler Cliff Lee, he ejected Philadelphia manager Charlie Manuel—leading to a fierce, "fuck"-filled argument in the eighth inning of t...

Better Know An Umpire: Alfonso Marquez
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Clumsy Dodgers Fan Drops Foul Ball, Falls Onto Field, Knocks Over Beer
This poor joker just couldn't do anything right in his pursuit of a ball that was pretty much hit right at him. And to top it off, he was wearing a glove. Watching this, I half-expected to see O.J. Simpson stumble into a bear trap, trip into a wedding cake, and fall off a boat....