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The Mark Cuban Gay Joke ESPN Doesn't Want You To Hear [UPDATE]
For two days, Cuban vs. Simmons was billed as the marquee event at last weekend's MIT Sloan Sports Analytic Conference, sponsored by ESPN. It certainly didn't disappoint as the two took the stage late Saturday and engaged in an hour-long discussion ranging from the NBA lockout to how teams can eng...

David Price Has Now Hurt His Neck Three Times By Wiping His Head With A Towel
Rays lefty David Price had to leave yesterday's split-squad start after just two innings, but he later owned up to what had happened:...

What If Dirk Nowitzki Was Missing A Chromosome And Lived In Phoenix?
Then he'd be like a lot of people living in Phoenix. (h/t Tom)...

Since Robin Ventura's Back In Baseball, The Rangers Will Stop Showing That Video Of Nolan Ryan Beating Him Up
Last year, Texas showed the famous 1993 brawl between the Rangers and White Sox before every single game. Maybe you think it's weird for a team to air highlights of their president and CEO, but then again your team's president and CEO has probably never pummeled a man. (Unless you're a Marlins fan...

Homecoming Queen By Default: Temple Returns To The Big East
Unlike a colleague, I did not go to Harvard. I went to and loved Temple University, which at its heart was a commuter school with an ugly campus surrounded on all sides by North Philadelphia wasteland, a place where basketball was king, but a king in memory, and football only a rumor....

"It Ain't Midnight Yet, Y'all!" High School Hoops Announcer Loses His Mind Yet Again
Bravo, Brian Snow. We didn't think there was any way you could top last Friday night's trachea-shredding performance, as the Marist RedHawks hit a late three to win the 4A regional final over Curie, 63-62. No, there was no way you could top that one. ...

Hockey Dad Says He Wasn't Being Malicious When He Shined That Laser Pointer In A Little Girl's Eye
Joe Cordes, 42, admitted he shined a laser pointer onto the ice during last week's high school girls hockey game between Winthrop (Mass.) and Medway-Ashland (Mass.). The parents of the freshman goalie for Medway-Ashland had said their daughter complained of headaches afterward. Cordes, whose daughte...

Excerpts From The Long-Lost Script For <em>Monday Night Football: The Cartoon</em>
So total at the time was Cosell's saturation of culture that Irwin Weiner, an ABC Sports vice president for twenty years, once came up with a concept for a Saturday morning kids' series called "Monday Night Football: The Cartoon", one that would turn Cosell, Gifford and Meredith into animated charac...

The U.S. Women's Open Of Bowling Will Be Held Outdoors, In The Least Magical Place On Earth
What you're looking at is an artist's conception of the U.S. Women's Open, which will follow in the footsteps of the NHL's Winter Classic and the NCAA's aircraft carrier game by being held outside, under the desert sun, in downtown Reno, Nevada. I can't think of a better gift for your worst enemy....

Hines Ward Signs With Ravens, Reports Pittsburgh TV Station That Fell For Obvious Parody
It’s not clear how this exclusive BroCouncil “report” could have fooled anyone, let alone that intrepid crew of news readers at WPXI-TV, who lamented Ward’s departure for the Steelers’ biggest rival at the top of their 6 a.m. newscast this morning....

Cubs Win! Cubs Win (A Video Game-Induced, Alternate Universe World Series)!
Sony's new ad campaign for MLB 12 The Show hinges on the tagline, "So real, it's unreal." Apparently, that includes the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series, thanks to some Michael Bay-worthy special effects....

Gregg Easterbrook Has Dubbed The Bounty Scandal "Sinnersgate," Because He's A Haughty Dipshit
Now that Terra Nova has been canceled, noted Brookings Institutionarian and surveyor of the cosmos Gregg Easterbrook was finally free today to chime in on the NFL bounty scandal. And oh, dear readers. Oh, the man never fails to disappoint. Right off the bat, this is what you get ......

ESPN's Keith Law Is A Fan Of Bad Spring Training Twitpics, Unless It Involves One Of His Bad Spring Training Twitpics
We told you two weeks ago about the hilarity that is Bad Spring Training Twitpics, the site that's collecting all the bad art being snapped by the cameraphones of the many baseball writers now roaming around spring training. That same day, Keith Law let his many Twitter followers know he was also a ...

Ronda Rousey Mangles Arms And Mean Mugs With The Best Of Them
If you only watched the main event of the Strikeforce event on Saturday, you would have seen judo Olympian Ronda Rousey turn Meisha Tate's arm into a bucatini noodle. But you might have missed Rousey scare the bejeezus out of Showtime host Heidi Androl before the fight. Look at that death stare. C...

Here's How Oakland Squandered A Late 11-Point Lead And Was Upset By Southern Utah
"The Badlands Conference" is my favorite nickname for the Summit League, and it's an apt name given the conference tournament takes place in South Dakota, home to Badlands National Park. Last night's Summit quarterfinal between sixth-seed Southern Utah and third-seeded Oakland left the Golden Gri...

High School Basketball Announcer Shreds Vocal Cords To Pieces In Bonkers Championship Game Call
Please enjoy this gentleman (?) calling a high school game in Chicago absolutely losing his shit in the final seconds. From what we can gather in all the madness, "Hot Rod" Williams drilled a three with 2.4 seconds left to take the lead. Then all hell broke loose in the announcer's booth. We truly...

Major League Soccer's Facebook Account Likes Strippers
Several tipsters have sent in what appears to be an example of the dreaded "logged in to the wrong account" snafus that must keep social media interns awake at night....

Ronda Rousey Did Inhuman Things To Miesha Tate's Arm In Last Night's Strikeforce Title Bout
Ronda Rousey seized the Strikeforce bantamweight title last night with a gruesome win over Miesha Tate in Columbus that hurts just to watch....

Hockey Dad Kicked Out Of High School Tournament For Shining Laser Pointer In Opposing Goalie's Eyes
Some people are just straight up crazy. Take this father of the year candidate who was removed from a girls high school hockey game between Winthrop and Medway-Ashland after he was discovered shining a laser pointer in a teenage girl's eyes....

Jon Hamm, Who Used To Comment On Deadspin, Clarifies His Involvement With Texas Longhorns Baseball
We posted a story earlier today about a story Mad Men star Jon Hamm told on Letterman last night. Hamm told Letterman that he was tempted to walk onto the baseball team at the University of Texas, but Longhorns ace Roger Clemens intimidated him. But Hamm was in junior high when Clemens left UT. We w...