ow Page 903 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Remind All Big Ten Reporters That Asking For Coach's Autograph Is Not Acceptable (Update: Ed Responds)
Big Ten Media Days in Chicago just wrapped up, and for the most part it was the same boring old questions, asked 100 times by 100 different reporters from across the Midwest. So it takes something special to stand out. Ed Littler, Sports Director at News 5 in Nebraska, you are something special....

Terrible Defensive Shortstop Miguel Tejada Is Angry At San Francisco Media For Writing About His Terrible Defense
So the Giants acquired Proven October Shortstop™ Orlando Cabrera from Cleveland yesterday, because their GM, Brian Sabean, is a veteran-loving fool who doesn't have eyes, apparently....

This Is Why You Should Bring A Glove If You're Gonna Sit Near The Right-Field Foul Pole At Yankee Stadium
It is, like, the least surprising thing in the world that this Yankee fan, who got hit in the face with a foul ball, is holding a BlackBerry. His collar is popped under his Yankees t-shirt. Ugh....

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb
Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Kyle Orton Will Never Back Up Tim Tebow
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: either he's the man, or he's gone....

Florida International University Hires Noted Sociologist Rick Sanchez
The AP reported — and a tanned portrait, complete with dapper summer hat, on the Florida International University sports site confirms — that former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez has been hired to be the radio voice of the FIU Golden Panthers football team. Sanchez has two sons at FIU....

This Is What It's Like To Sit Near Big Yankees Fan Michael LaPayower In The Bronx
When Jake Bertanza went to last night's Yankees game, he might have expected that CC Sabathia would pitch a lovely game, but he certainly could not have known he'd end up sitting a few seats away from Michael "Big Yankees Fan" LaPayower and his videographer brother....

ESPN Interview With Skateboarder Carries On Despite Possible Abduction Of Child
Last week an ESPN crew interviewed Nyjah Huston, a 16-year-old skateboarder from Davis, Calif., to talk about his preparations and expectations for this year's X-Games. Huston's interview is nothing riveting — "um, yeah, like, gonna be sick, like, you know?" — and his cause isn't helped at all by ...

ESPN's Sources Are Awfully Chatty Today
Tipsters Amos and Miles alerted us to the "Headlines" section of ESPN.com. We await the Poynter Institute's 76,000-word monograph on why Adam Schefter really just needs to sleep. [ESPN.com]...

On Future Bicycle Kicks, Do Not Aim For Your Face
Chelsea midfielder Yossi Benayoun is probably a very good football player, and it undoubtedly takes a great deal of athleticism to put oneself in position to kick the ball into one's own face. But still. He kicked the ball into his face! When he coulda kicked it into the goal! What a loser!...

Where NFL Rumors Are Born, Pat Devlin Is In The Details
We got an email last night from "prism" with the subject line: How Sports Media Blows, and it was a series of links in chronological order....

Guess Who Arrived First For Broncos Practice Today?
At 8:01 this morning: "Tim Tebow. Of course." [@AdamSchefter]...

Mario Balotelli Punished For "Unprofessional"-And-Also-Failed Backheel Goal Attempt
Mario Balotelli, the 20-year-old Italian striker who plays for Manchester City, attempted a backheel goal in a friendly against the L.A. Galaxy on Saturday, and it did not go well. He missed the goal by a few feet and was immediately pulled from the game. Youth soccer coaches across the world are ...

Breaking: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $171.45, But That's Because He Didn't Pay Last Month's Bill
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

Tour De France, Stage 21: A Bloodless Conclusion To A Bloody Race
The last stage of the Tour de France is designed to make you forget all those times that Grand Tour cyclists come off like persnickety bitches. It's a day of good feelings. A gentleman's agreement obtains whereby no one attacks the yellow jersey, and there's champagne to sip along the first few kilo...

Don't Dream It's Over: Disney Permanently Cancels ESPN: The Weekend
Last week, we mentioned, barely suppressing our glee, that ESPYs ratings had hit their lowest point in 16 years. With similar exuberance, we gave you ESPN's condom-obsessed in-house standards bible. Death knells....

Tour De France, Stage 20: The Aussie Gets His Wings
When last we checked in with the Tour, the race had become a bar fight. Many of the big-name riders were broken. Former champ Alberto Contador was mounting suicidal climbing attacks and punching fans. The French guy was throwing tantrums. It was as if the Tour had become an enormous raw nerve. Favor...

Presenting Your First Photo Of Mr. And Mrs. Ben Roethlisberger
The nuptials have apparently moved from ring-exchange ceremony onto the reception, per the whole #bigbenswedding extravaganza on Twitter. This picture apparently includes the Roethlisbergers and a friend named Mandisa....

Today Is The Day That A Reformed Ben Roethlisberger Makes A Physician's Assistant His Bride
Last night, Mr. and (soon-to-be) Mrs. Ben Roethlisberger hosted their wedding rehearsal dinner. The groom wore yellow. The bride smiled broadly in photographs that were released to the local paper before this glorious day commenced in Pittsburgh. Here are some fun facts regarding Allegheny County's...

Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell
Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership....