ow Page 907 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If The Yankees Don't Let Anyone Say Derek Jeter Is Washed Up, He Won't Be Washed Up
Derek Jeter's injury-rehab assignment to Double-A Trenton is due to begin Saturday night. He's going to do great. At least, you'd better say he's going to do great, if you want to keep writing about the Yankees....

Josh Cribbs Goes To War Against The Tyranny Of Meter Maids
A couple of weeks ago, Browns receiver Josh Cribbs received a ticket for parking his Mercedes at an expired meter in Cleveland Heights. He protested immediately that the meter still had time left, posting a photo of his ticket next to the meter showing 8 minutes remaining. Police say they don't know...

Oh Look, There Was Another Brawl At The D.C. Caribbean Carnival (Somewhat NSFW)
As opposed to the video posted, like, an hour ago, this brawl does not involve calls for titties. Rather, this "cArabian festival" footage drives home the point that, "If you're not on Howard University right now, you're not doing nothing." Fair enough....

Victim Of Quentin Tarantino Toe-Suck Fired From Job After Toe-Suck Story Goes Viral
Beejoli Shah, who decided it was a good idea to let 15 friendsicles read about her bizarre run-in with Quentin Tarantino and his nubby toe make-out techniques, was let go from her job at LA-based brand-builder GENERATE last night, multiple friendsicles have told us....

With NBA Lockout Looming, Gilbert Arenas And Dwight Howard Start Planking
Perhaps you are familiar with planking, one of those odd fads forced upon us by Australians. (Just like Hugh Jackman!) One planks by lying completely flat on an odd surface and then photographing it....

A Year Ago, Diamondbacks 3B Sean Burroughs Was Drinking 8 Slurpees Daily, Eating Cheeseburgers Out Of A Trash Can
Sean Burroughs, if you'll recall, was once the fraught golden boy of early 2000s NL baseball—the smooth-swinging Padres third baseman who could only hit singles. (His career isolated slugging percentage, .078, is only a fuzz better than Juan Pierre's.) But Burroughs has since resuscitated his pro ca...

Jay Mariotti's Long Downward Spiral
A California judge ruled yesterday that there was sufficient evidence against former ESPN talker and Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti for a trial on assault, domestic violence, and stalking charges....

More From The Jay Mariotti Hearings: Pulling Out Hair <i>Extensions</i> Does Not Make It OK
Last night we alerted you to the news that formerly ubiquitous ESPN pundit Jay Mariotti would stand trial in California on charges of felony stalking, domestic violence, and assault stemming from an April altercation. That came after a no-contest plea on domestic violence charges in September 2010....

Troy Tulowitzki Scores From First On A Bloop Single, Miguel Tejada Nearly Gets Thrown Out At Home On A HR
I guess what we're saying is that Tulo always hustles, while Tejada is looking to top the Tater Tot Tracker charts....

Dirk Nowitzki Is Big In Germany
Your morning roundup for June 29, the day we started rapping on light poles. Image — of Dirk Nowitzki's triumphant return to his hometown of Wurzburg, Germany — via MSNBC Photoblog....

Jay Mariotti Will Stand Trial On Stalking, Domestic Violence, And Assault Charges
"Mariotti allegedly confronted the woman at a restaurant last Sept. 30.... He also is accused of grabbing the woman outside a Venice restaurant around midnight on April 15 of this year, pulling out a chunk of her hair and grabbing her cell phone away as he shouted at her." [BHCourier, h/t tomuban]...

California Minor League Hockey Team Demands Quite A Lot From Those Applying To Be Its Mascot
Inhabiting a mascot's costume can be demanding work. We know that. But who would have guessed that it had so many prerequisites? Tipster Rick alerts us to this ECHL job posting from the Stockton Thunder. They're looking to hire someone to portray Thor, their mascot....

Channing Crowder's Jersey And The NCAA's Land Of Make Believe
Channing Crowder talks in hypotheticals. "Hypothetically," he says, he doesn't have any more of his old Florida jerseys. Some local businessmen, he says, really liked his play. "Hypothetically."...

The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
This month, Marv Albert celebrated his 70th birthday and joined the NFL on CBS. He announced he would leave his gig calling Nets games for the YES Network—he wouldn't have the time. The CBS job "wasn't something I was looking for," Albert said. Marv, at 70, is sports' most sought-after voice, so muc...

This Is The Most T.O. Thing You've Ever Done
When the season is actually delayed, we'll hate the NFL lockout for that. But for now we're just pissed at Goodell and/or De Smith that there's no football news out there. Summers suck for sports, and NFL draft/free agency/holdouts/training camp talk are an entire second season that we're lacking. W...

In Mongo Wrestling Alliance, Metalocalypse's Tommy Blacha brings us a world where pro wrestling is reality
Imagine a world in which professional wrestling dynasties carry the same weight as royal families. Such is the standard operating procedure of Metalocalypse co-creator Tommy Blacha's new Adult Swim cartoon Mongo Wrestling Alliance.… [io9] ...

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

Here's Video Of Giovani Dos Santos's Gold Cup Goal That Finished The Americans Off
With remarkable placement and touch, young Giovani Dos Santos scored the final goal of the Gold Cup tournament. It gave Mexico a 4-2 lead that they would keep until the final whistle. Here's a link to video of Pablo Edson Barrera's goal that gave Mexico a 3-2 lead....

Here's Video Of A Pro Bowler Getting All Gutter Mouthed With A Foe
Let tipster hoseman666 explain this bit of profane professional-bowling fury for you:...

Jay Bilas Can't Stop Talking About Young Men's Body Parts
Last night, Jay Bilas had to talk for about NBA draftees for about five hours. Even for a person like Jay Bilas, who has probably known five hours of utter silence in all of his 48 years on this earth, five hours is just too much analysis. Faced with this challenge, our brave esquire-commentator h...