ow Page 948 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tim Tebow's Hyperbaric Chamber Lets Him Use Oxygen Better Than You, Too
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Tough Day For Chris Mortensen All Around
Blasted typos. But still...come on, Mort. Or is this your subconscious way of giving it back to Greeny over the "Martin Luther Coon" thing? [H/T several people]...
Ten-Year Ban For Whipping Out His Junk
One of New Zealand's premier lawn bowlers is facing a decade-long ban from the sport after he "flopped out my old fella" to tell his teammates they were "playing like dicks." New Zealand's a strange, strange place....
Chris Mortensen Is Not Well-Liked, According To Sources Close To Adam Schefter
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Former Basketball Player Ends Congressional Bid As It Began: Crazily
Remember Kevin Millen? The former Georgetown basketball player no one remembered who ran for Congress in Tennessee on a campaign of paranoia and family values and batshit insanity? He lost. But at least he's fired off one last batshit insane email....
Help This Desperate Man Choose The Worst Karaoke Song Ever
Greetings, cretins. We have an email request from a reader who's going through a rough patch. He wants off this hellish treadmill immediately. He will achieve this by...singing awful karaoke in a bar in Huron, Ohio. Guide him....
Bat-Wielding Vigilante Takes On Boston Troublemakers (Video Back Up)
A group of punks are terrorizing passing motorists, until they mess with the wrong guy. He steps out of his car...metal bat in hand. This shit is bananas. (NSFW language)...
Philadelphia Eagles Lineman Doesn't Like It When <em>True Blood</em> Goes Super Gay
Philadelphia Eagles offensive lineman, Todd Herremans, posted this lovely Tweet this morning but then soon realized he may come off like a gay vampire-hating fool. Or, at least, the Eagles did. [Where's Weems?]...
Chivalry Is Dead: Man Ducks Foul Ball Before It Hits Girlfriend
You've got three options when confronted with a liner: catch it, protect your seatmates, or dive for cover as it ricochets off the woman you love. Astros fan Bo chose that last one....
What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The NFL's Hall Of Fame Enshrinement Speeches, AutoSummarized
For those who missed all the speechifying Saturday in Canton—during which Rickey Jackson made Emmitt Smith sound like Cicero, and Chris Berman spent 22 minutes committing what I'm certain were several felony counts of public masturbation—we offer a summary....
"Romo's Bitch" Call Sign Irks Naval Aviator
Here's a pretty amusing story from "After Action: Your Military Sports Report, " where one young aviator becomes saddled with the call sign "Romo's Bitch" due to his Cowboy fandom. He is not amused....
After Photography Ban, Soccer Game Covered By Cartoonist
League One side Southampton banned all photographers from their stadium for this weekend's match. The visiting team's newspaper handled it well, reducing the comical situation to, well, a comic....
A Musical Tribute To Brandon Morrow's Almost No-Hitter
Brandon Morrow became the pitcher he never was for the Mariners yesterday, bedeviling the Tampa Bay Rays and striking out 17 in maybe the most dominant pitching performance of the year. Music via Annie....
Desperate For Excitement, Pirates Announcers Melt Down After Big Win
This is Greg Brown (play-by-play) and Steve Blass (childlike enthusiasm) calling the Bucs' walk-off win on Saturday. If Pittsburgh ever has a good season, Blass's head may explode. [h/t Steve]...
To Dan Marino, Jerry Rice Gives A Double F-U
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Here's Why Canada Should Lose Its Baseball Privileges (with update)
Meet Brent Bowers, manager of the Edmonton Capitals of whatever the Golden Baseball League is....
Enthusiastic Cavs Sportscaster Now Rape Suspect
Travel back with me to those gravy days when people could scream "Cavs Win" and mean it. Like NewsChannel5's weekend sports anchor Terry Brooks did in this 2009 video ......
If Tebow's Tithing, the Lord Made <em>Bank</em> Off Nike Yesterday
I don't know what's more frightening: That someone wrote 314 words about an epic yet unfulfilling Hajj to get his hands on the new Tim Tebow kicks or that I read all 314 words....
Welcome To Deadspin's Music Week
Like our other famed theme weeks which have gone horribly awry, we're attempting to cover some other subject matter that doesn't have anything to do with sports. Or dongs, for that matter. Yes: MUSIC WEEK is upon us....