ow Page 989 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Fowler Feels Clemson Fan's Pain (Not Really)
If you watched Georgia Tech beat Clemson two weeks ago, you might have noticed this Tiger fan's Oscar reel for Most Distraught Football Fanatic and the announcing crew's on-air sympathy. Of course, off the air was a different story....

If Boxing Weren't Dead Already, Max Kellerman Would've Killed It On Saturday
The most entertaining part of Saturday's Mayweather-Marquez fight—and I use that term loosely—was Max Kellerman's post-fight confrontation with Mayweather. It is the most abrasive piece of broadcast journalism since Jim Gray's All-Star Game interrogation of Pete Rose....

Mark Sanchez Overpraise Poised To Annoy The Hell Out Of Us
Mark Sanchez possesses a certain je ne sais quoi. So how to describe him, just two games into his NFL career? If only there were some hackneyed bit of praise that elevates competence into a kind of holy state ......

This Must Have Looked Awesome On The Jerrytron
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Is Michael Crabtree The Devil? Michael Rosenberg Thinks So
To the naked eye, Michael Crabtree's holdout symbolizes two things: greed and stupidity...but pure evil? SI's Michael Rosenberg reveals the twisted truth behind San Francisco's stubborn rookie....

The End Is At The Beginning
The day started with creatively shaved dudes and that's how the day shall end. This is Andrew from Temple University, who submitted his own picture because Miami's unchecked hairy chested ACC aggression will not stand....

The One Where Tim Tebow Gets Cornholed
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

The 2009 Washington Nationals: A Season Of Bigger Failure
Despite appearances, the New York Mets are not baseball's worst team. That honor belongs to the Washington Nationals, a organization whose legendary incompetence should be memorialized on the marble arches of the great city that wishes they played elsewhere....

Young College QBs Beleaguered By Crazy Fans With Cell Phones And Internet Access
The nation's paper of record did a terrifying feature about the downside of being a high profile college quarterback and the deadly pitfalls the new media era of Twitter, Facebook, and, ahem, Deadspin....

Buffalo Columnist Outraged By T.O.'s Good Behavior
The Buffalo sports media can't wait to blast Terrell Owens for shooting his mouth off to reporters—only he hasn't done that yet, so they'll just have to blast him for being polite instead. Wait — what?...

Cowboys Could Set Attendance Record, Still Get Blacked Out
The Cowboys have sold over 20,000 standing-room tickets for their official stadium opener Sunday and have a shot to break the NFL attendance record....if only they can can convince a few people to buy actual seats....

Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....

Tim Tebow To Remain In Florida The Rest Of His Natural Life?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Man Is Truly Living The Dream
After hitting the Powerball jackpot, Jay Vargas — aka J.V. Rich — used his winnings to start Wrestlicious, a pro wrestling/sketch comedy show featuring only women in bikinis. Actually, that's a better idea than some crap college fund. [WTSP]...

The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing
One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit....

FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob
It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest....

Simmons On Carolla: "He Has Reached Manny Ramirez Status"
Bill Simmons had himself a chat yesterday with the baccalaureates over at newly launched ESPN The Boston, and between Road House jokes, he shared a few catty thoughts about Adam Carolla — thoughts apparently deemed too catty by ESPN....

ESPN Finally Kills Adam Schefter
Since joining ESPN last month, Adam Schefter has logged approximately 32,000 hours of face time on The Network. I guess his schedule finally caught up with him, because he got the consumption today and had to be put down....

Deadspin Guest NFL Prognosticator (Thinks He) Wins Big
A message from Mr. Sicha: "SUCK IT EVERYONE, AS I WENT SIX FOR SIX IN MY NFL PICKS." Humor him. He's not counting "the spread" even though his column is called "The Spread".[The Awl]...

O.J. Simpson's Last Remaining Fan (And Other Tales Of Woe)
We got many weekend submissions for Morning Crap that weren't good enough to "wake up!" to (or earn their own post) but were too good not to share. So they morphed into this special Voltron-like gallery of awesomeness. Tremble, weaklings!...