ow Page 995 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
BREAKING: The Only Thing Not Perfect About Tim Tebow Is His Vision
The Tebow is nearsighted. He just got glasses before the ESPYs, but does not wear (or were) them during the football. No contacts, either. Yet, somehow he throws many, many touchdowns! HOW DOES HE DO IT? [Gainesville Sun]...
Stephen A. Smith: Pundit Voice Of Moderation?
So Stephen A. Smith has reinvented himself as a malapropping political bloviator on MSNBC. This is truly an amazing fact of American cultural life, and I'm not sure it's sunk in yet....
Bobby Bowden Has Had Just About Enough Of Your "Rules"
FSU's 14 forfeited wins puts Bobby Bowden a distant second in number of all-time D1 victories. The dignified thing to do would be to accept it, move on, and try to outlive outlast JoePa. That's not how Bobby rolls....
I Hope Someone Gently Broke The News To Josh Johnson
From this week's SI Pop Culture Grid: Person I'm Dying To Interview..."Kirby Puckett. One of my idols growing up." [SI]...
A One-Day Study On Use And Variance Of "Pussy" Uttered By Brian Urlacher
First Bobby Wade said that Brian Urlacher called new teammate Jay Cutler a pussy. Urlacher denied it. Then Urlacher said the radio stations starting this nonsense were the pussies. Explanations and clarifications disrupt a quiet Wednesday in the Windy City....
Rick Reilly®, Sportsmanship Nazi
"I hated that sweater for the same reason I hate when a player preens for the camera in the 'I'm going to Disney World' commercials," Reilly writes in his latest, thus completing his transformation into Andy Rooney....
Sports Writer Turns To Pimping For Extra Cash
Things are tough these days for newspapers (don't say it) and their writers (don't say it), but if you must work a second job, please don't try "deriving income from prostitution," because that just causes more difficulties for you. (Don't....)...
Sources: With Favre's Decision, ESPN Will Have To Turn Elsewhere For Worthless Scoops
One of the many tragedies of Brett Favre's non-unretirement is that Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, ESPN's Woodward and Bernstein of the small-bore, will no longer be feverishly working their anonymous sources for the world's most trivial Favre scoops....
Jay Mariotti, Making Children Cry
Jay the Joker one-ups Woody Paige with a human prop. The baby's tears represent America, except America would have tried to poop on him. [H/T reader Dan]...
Dr. James Andrews Giveth and Taketh Away
Orthopedic Hall of Famer Dr. James Andrews has saved the careers of countless athletes with his special brand of ligament justice, but occasionally he makes an oops and cripples healthy people for the rest of their lives. No one's perfect....
Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...
The First Sideline Reporter: "All Of This Was Just Nonsense"
The sideline reporter was young and attractive and more or less an open appeal to the lower enthusiasms of sports fans. The year was 1974. Jim Lampley was here to tell America about mascots and homecoming queens....
Ladies: If You Don't Want Men Looking At You Through A Peephole, Stop Watching Sports
I've read this column by US News & World Report writer Bonnie Erbe three times to see if I'm possibly taking the quote out of context or missing a broader issue or accidentally inhaled WD-40 but, sadly, I have not....
Minaya Sort Of Apologizes
Omar Minaya called another press conference last night, and in this one he managed to not entirely shoot off his own foot, which probably had something to do with his boss, COO Jeff Wilpon, standing ominously at his side....
Minaya Calls Out <em>Daily News</em> Reporter; Mets' Season Descends Further Into Farce
Earlier today, Omar Minaya addressed the firing of brawlin' Tony Bernazard, the Mets' VP for player development, and used the occasion to humiliate New York Daily News reporter Adam Rubin, whom Minaya accused of angling for a front-office job....
Peter King On King's Peter
"Trip to the urologist. Regular checkup. Two docs. First doc examines me, and I should say he examines me thoroughly. He leaves and the other doc comes in. ... He puts on the rubber glove. Whoa! Whoa!" [SI.com]...
Christine Brennan Continues Her Erin Andrews Smarm Offensive
USA Today's Christine Brennan went on Howard Kurtz's unctuous TV show yesterday and explained away her underminey Erin Andrews comments, emphasizing that she has "always been concerned about Erin" and somehow outstripping all her male colleagues in patrician superciliousness....
I Guess This Is A Silver Lining
Erin Andrews is now the #1 ranked TV reporter on the Mediaite Power Grid. Jake Tapper has his work cut out for him if he wishes to unseat her. [Mediaite]...
It's Still The Summer Of K F'n P
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Once More To The Pool
Summertime, oh summertime, when on Sundays, pointless galleries seem to make some sense. So, voila! Now go do a cannonball....