ow Page 998 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And For His Next Trick, Sun Tzu Will Write The Sequel To <i>All The Pretty Horses</i>
"The strain, my dear, the strain. I have attended wars which seemed less emotional experiences than Pony Club polo matches." Note to columnists: War is never a good analogy. Especially when you're writing about tony ponies. [Daily Mail]...
Jay Crawford: ESPN's Resident Hard-Ass
This is an excellent story. Take heed, North Jersey adult league recreational baseball pitchers: If you plunk the First Take host in the back of the neck, he may kill you. Full [Sic'd] story after the jump:...
Nancy Boys Play Like ... Well, Nancy Boys
Look, when you play for a soccer team from a town named Nancy, headlines like this are inevitable. (What editor could resist?) Especially when you run away from swine flu like a team of little girls. [ESPN]...
Terrell Owens Suddenly Remembers He Has This Thing He Has To Be At
I was surprised to learn "The Superstars" was actually on last night, opposite the All-Star Pregame. (Counterprogramming!) Thanks to the magic of time travel, I have learned that the episode was way more pointless than usual....
Jim Cramer Was Wrong About Lenny Dykstra, Everything Else
Jon Stewart would like to remind everyone that financial "expert" Jim Cramer endorsed Lenny Dykstra as "one of the great ones in this business." And the business he was referring to was not "collecting tobacco juice."...
Jason Whitlock Vs. Marty B In Racial Flame War ‘09: WHO YA GOT? (UPDATED)
Our favorite oozing pumpkin Jason Whitlock is forging an Enemies List not seen since the last days of Richard Nixon: Selena Roberts, Serena Williams, Hamstring Stretches, etc....
Rick Morrissey Uses Dead Baseball Scribe As A Soapbox For Blog Rant
Here's a thoroughly obnoxious column by the Chicago Tribune's Rick Morrissey in which he picks up the corpse of Jerome Holtzman and swings it in the general direction of — what else? — the blogosphere....
AP's Dumb Baseball Poll And The Durable Myth Of The Overpaid Ballplayer
The Associated Press and Knowledge Networks recently teamed up for a state-of-baseball poll that revealed nothing whatsoever except the silly dogmas of the sort of people who commission state-of-baseball polls, i.e. sportswriters....
Deadspin Classic: A Disco Inferno
In an alternate universe, Deadspin's archives would cover the whole scope of human history. Occasionally, we like to revisit those timeless moments that we would have written about, if only we could have. Today: The night disco died....
Oh, The Things We Could Demolish Today
Thirty years ago today was the death of disco at Comiskey Park. A wacky promotion turned into Woodstock '79 as tens of thousands of rock and roll purists stormed the field....
Mad Dog Goes Rabid, Needs To Be Put Down (SECOND UPDATE)
What can only be described as one of sports talk radio's most epic meltdowns happened two days ago. But since it happened on satellite radio, nobody knows a got-dang thing about it....
Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson Have Cozy Lover's Dinner With Bob Costas And Wife
Possible conversation topics: Goldie Hawn's radiant skin, Selena Roberts' lesbianism, 'Whatever happened to the kid in "Almost Famous"?', Ken Burns: toupee or not toupee, depreciation of Manhattan real estate market, Clete Boyer, "BASEketball." [NYP]...
Have You Heard Of This Tebow Kid?
I know summers are slow for football columnists, but if Ivan Maisel is already dipping into the "Tebow as Glorious Leader" well in early July—apparently, he's a bit religious!—it's going to be a very long September. [ESPN]...
Tom Brady Has No Pity For Panhandling Fools
Not all panhandlers are drunks and bums. Some are just convicted bank robbers who happen to owe Tom Brady — yes, that one — a good chunk of change for tucking and running away with two flower planters....
This Week In Terrible Music: The Cowboys’ Nu Metal Band, Plus Chickenfoot
You may have heard that Cowboys' o-lineman Marc Colombo, Leonard Davis, and Cory Procter started their own metal band called Free Reign. Is their music as awful as you think it is? SURE IS!...
Rich Eisen Thanks You For Your Concern About His Horninesss
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Somebody At ESPN Is Feeling Frisky And A Very Special Guest Editor Announcement
I haven't seen the Sportsnation show on ESPN yet, since I spend most of my day at the Gawker office, where television (along with sunlight, smiling, and sustained eye contact) are strictly forbidden, but this little shout-out is flattering....
Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules
Ochocinco: "I'm using Twitter during games." NFL: No, you're not. Ochocinco: "Damn NFL and these rules, I am going by my own set of rules, I ain't hurting nobody or getting in trouble, I am putting my foot down!!" [PFT]...
Minor Leaguer Pushes Hit Streak To 45 Games
Mariners prospect Jamie McOwen has hit safely in 45-straight games, which pretty much means he's better than Pete Rose. Of course, that also means he's not as good as legendary sluggers Otto Pahlman and Harry Chozen, but them's the breaks....
Bartolo Colon "Found," Still Mourning Michael Jackson
There's no visual evidence of Bartolo Colon's whereabouts—NASA is working on it—but the White Sox say he will pitch tonight. His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with MJ's passing....