p Page 5415 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Grand Quarterback Pronouncements Based On A Few Preseason Drives
There were six less-than-meaningless games across the NFL last night, twelve chances for fans and media to judge and project their quarterbacks over an entire season based solely on a quarter of half-speed action. That's the entire point of preseason football—unrealistic expectations take wing....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Carolina Panthers
Some people are fans of the Carolina Panthers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Carolina Panthers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Miguel Cabrera Can Jump
We told you back in January about the, um, heavy record he's devouring pursuing, but Miguel Cabrera reportedly lost anywhere from 20 to 50 pounds before the season began. And it shows! Just look at him sky for that ball that caroms off the backstop! Chris Stewart never had a chance....

Cubs Trainer Mark O'Neal Suffers Mid-Game Middle Finger Sprain
The Cubs ended an eight-game losing streak last night by dispatching the Reds, but it seems not everybody in the organization was happy. Here's trainer Mark O'Neal telling slugger Alfonso Soriano exactly what he thinks about Soriano's fouling a pitch off right in O'Neal's direction. (Soriano later ...

Your Daily Olympic Schedule: August 10 - Day 15
In effort to save you the time that it takes to both find and decipher the NBC Olympics schedule while trying to figure out which events are even worth watching, we've created our own (better) daily schedule of Olympic events. All events are listed in Eastern Daylight Time (no math) at the time tha...

A Blockbuster Dwight Howard Trade Is About To Happen, And Chris Broussard Is AWOL (Update: He's Back!)
The Olympics are still continuing in their tape-delayed glory and the NFL preseason has now begun in earnest, but everyone is abuzz with talk that a blockbuster, four-team deal that would send Magic center Dwight Howard to the Lakers is imminent. Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski first reported early this ...

Usain Bolt Has A History Of Stealing This Swedish Photographer's Camera
After Usain Bolt became the first person to ever win back-to-back Olympic gold medals in both the 100 and 200 meters, grabbed the camera of a nearby photographer and started taking his own pictures of the scene. What you might not be aware of is that Bolt and the photographer, a Swede named Jimmy Wi...

Falcons-Ravens Replacement Ref (Who May Be Lingerie League Castoff) Keeps Insisting He's In Arizona
It's been quite a week for replacement referee Craig Ochoa. First, he headed up a crew that opened the NFL preseason at the Hall of Fame game, then dealt with a report that he was hired by the NFL after being fired by the Lingerie Football League....

Michael Vick Just Did The One Thing You Never, Ever Want To Do In A Preseason Game (UPDATE)
Don't get injured. For any NFL player reasonably assured of a starting job, the last thing anyone ever wants to do in the preseason is get injured. That's why Eagles fans, in lieu of any more reliable information at the moment, are collectively holding their breaths after seeing Michael Vick slam ...

"I Would Like To Extend You A Counter-Offer To Suck My Dick": A Rejected Jobseeker Sends The Padres The Best Letter Ever
Taylor Grey Meyer estimates that she applied for a job with the San Diego Padres at least 30 times since moving to Coronado, Calif. Initially, in the sales office; but as she was alternately rejected and ignored, she lowered her sights. This past March, she applied for a minimum-wage job selling tic...

Looks Like The Redskins Will Be Just Fine With Griffin At Quarterback
You've got to be feeling good if you're a Washington Redskins fan. Your team signs cornerback Cedric Griffin in the offseason to help bolster your secondary, but it turns out (at least according to ESPN.com) that he's a more-than-capable stopgap at quarterback, filling in until Robert Griffin III is...

Deadspin Up All Night: Bombs Away
Thank you for your continued support of Olympicspin. The Erik Malinowski will be around damn soon to watch preseason football with you....

Water Polo Coach Celebrates Gold By Jumping Into The Pool, Lands Crotch First On Some Other Dude's Head
The US women's water polo team took gold today, stomping out Spain 8-5. When the game ended, the team and coaching staff linked arms and took a ceremonious plunge into the pool. One of the coaches, who was already a little late to this party, jumped in after them, only to land crotch-first on the ...

Zach Galifianakis And Will Ferrell Race To The Middle. <em>The Campaign</em>, Reviewed.
1. That The Campaign could never come up with a fictional scenario that would rival the absurdity of what actually happens in our daily political discourse is an obvious point, yet one that needs to be made again nevertheless. Is any sort of shtick that Will Ferrell could dream up odder than a reali...

Old Man Bobby Abreu Is Heading To Triple-A
Bobby Abreu, designated for assignment by the Dodgers after the trade deadline, agreed today to join the Triple-A Albuquerque Isotopes. He probably doesn't mind all that much, because he'll still make the $9 million the Angels guaranteed him back in 2009. Maybe he'd feel embarrassed being released f...

NBCmetrics: Of The 20 Most-Mentioned Athletes On Tuesday Night, 17 Were Women
During the Olympics, we'll be analyzing NBC's primetime coverage sort of the way we analyze SportsCenter in Bristolmetrics. We'll break down what countries the Peacock is talking about, and which athletes are getting the most attention....

Chris Johnson Would Like To Make The Hall Of Fame, And Also Maybe Win A Super Bowl If It Helps Him Make The Hall Of Fame
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Phelps says he started relaxing after losing his first race....

Olympics Brand Police Not Happy About Athletes Humping With Unauthorized Condoms
As we've seen again and again (and again), the London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (LOCOG) protects Olympic sponsors with the ferocity of a mother bear protecting its cubs. That extends to condoms: when Australian BMXer Caroline Buchanan tweeted this picture of "a bucket ...

Olympic Cyclist Sent Home After Getting Really, Really Wasted
Belgium's Gijs Van Hoecke had an OK showing last week: a 15th-place finish in the multi-discipline omnium, and part of a ninth-place sprint team. But for the vast, vast majority of Olympians, it's not about medals. It's about the entire experience, and that includes drinking enough to kill a small f...