p Page 6474 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Trevor Hoffman's Music Scares The Crap Out Of Ken Macha
The Brewers manager says he hides in the bathroom when his closer enters the game, because Hoffman's entrance music is just too darn loud. Or maybe it's the new Japanese seat warmers? [ESPN; game notes]...
Warm Your Butt In The Dice-K Memorial Bathrooms
The Boston Red Sox paid the Seibu Lions $51.1 million for the right to take Daisuke Matsuzaka off their hands. So what did they do with the money? New toilet seats for everyone!...
Lance Armstrong's New Bike Insipred By Hope
Because it was designed by Obama poster artist Shepard Fairey. [AnimalNY]...
The Time Is Right For America's Baddest Horse Trainer
Ok, this has been bugging me since Saturday, so I have to ask—was trainer Bennie Woolley Jr. carrying a gun at the Kentucky Derby? (Probably not—but wouldn't it have been great if he had been?)...
Selena Roberts On Verge Of Becoming More Despised Than A-Rod
Selena Roberts' Alex Rodriguez tell-all finally hits the bookshelves today, but all the goodwill she received from her journalism colleagues after breaking the steroid story to end all steroid stories has completely vanished....
Austrian Hockey Players Will Question Your Sexuality In Perfect English
Austria lost to Denmark in a Hockey World Championship qualifier last week, but at least Oliver Setzinger got a chance to get to know his fans and their preferences for fellatio....
And The 2009 Brian Baldinger Award Goes To...Torry Holt
The former Rams' wide receiver instills confidence in his catching ability in front of a confused Jacksonville press corps. [With Leather]...
MVP Award May Finally Earn LeBron James Some Publicity
The Plain-Dealer says LeBron James will be named the MVP today. He also wins a new Kia, which is awesome because I hear his Datsun pickup is rusted out. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]...
John Wall Declaring Early For Life Of Crime
Number One basketball super recruit John Wall has not yet decided what college he will pretend to get an education at for one semester, but perhaps he just needs trespassing time to think about it....
And The Mets/Phillies Weekend Yields Predictable Results
Come on, Philly people. Don't throw fucking bottles. [The700Level]...
As Boston Globe Dies, One Boston Herald Columnist Reveals Himself To Be A Towering Douche
Regardless of any silly notions about Deadspin being anti-newspaper, it's unfathomable to think that many of our hometown papers we all grew up with could be obsolete in the next couple of years....
Even The Owner Of The New York Islanders Doesn't Like His Team
Nine years ago, businessman Charles Wang thought he would do Long Island a solid and buy their Islanders so the team could stay in Nassau County. Now? He kinda wishes he could have a do-over....
Not All Seven Game Series Are Equal
There were two seven-game series in the first round of the the NBA Playoffs. One was the greatest series in the history of sport. The other was not....
There's Nothing Like The A.J. Burnett Theater Experience
Athletes like to be comfortable when they watch "300" or "Gladiator" for the 10,000th time. Burnett's absurdly extravagant home theater was selected as one of the best, according to Electronic House magazine. [EH]...
John Danks Kills A Squirrel Or John Danks Shows How He Gets So Much Movement On His Pitches Or John Danks Stabs His Brain Or...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
One Cowboys' Scouting Assistant Paralyzed Due To Practice Facility Collapse
Two other staffers also required surgery to mend their broken body parts. Jerry Jones was reported to be "somber" after hearing the news. [AP/LA Times]...
Don't Forget Your Daily Dose Of A-Rod Media Overkill
You think you're sick of hearing about A-Rod now? You haven't seen anything yet. Selena Roberts' book A-Rod is set to be released tomorrow and the media outrage machine is just getting warmed up....
Are You Tough Enough To Attend A College Softball Game?
Of the many and varied sporting events that take place daily across the nation, the last one at which I'd expect a brawl to break out would probably be a college softball game. Preconception: shattered....
The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent And Depraved
Everyone knows the real fun of the Kentucky Derby happens in the stands and infield, not on the track. See the shenanigans you missed out on after the jump....
Ow, My Balls!
Maybe I'm still a little irked with Boston after last night's Celtics win, but I think a picture of Dustin Pedroia getting pegged in the nuts would bring a smile to my face any day....