p Page 6515 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Donte' Stallworth Might Be In Some Serious Trouble
PFT revealed that Miami prosecutors are poised to charge the Browns receiver with DUI. The Miami Herald has video of Stallworth's sobriety test and the pedestrian dying on the causeway. Yeesh. [PFT]...

The USC Song Girls Will Take Your Mind Off Those Scary Brackets
Your head is probably spinning right now, but I might have just the thing to bring you down to Earth—Song Girls getting the bejezzus scared out of them....

Here Is Your National Champion (Plus 64 Other Losers)
The NCAA Tournament Committee is announcing has announced the field for the Men's Basketball Tournament. It's shocking! It's disappointing! It's pleasantly surprising! It's horrifying! It's whatever you want it to be!...

Type Fast For Us During the NCAA Tournament
Aw, so you didn't get to preview the team you wanted. Guess there's nothing left to do but cry. Or you could GET A SECOND CHANCE to participate on Deadspin....

Mississippi State Just Broke Someone's Heart
The 23-12 Bulldogs win the SEC Tournament, likely knocking an at large team out of the tourney. Only one game left and both teams are already in. So now we wait. [Yahoo]...

Mercy Is For The Weak. (The U.S. Is Weak.)
Thank to the Little League mercy rule, the United States was spared nine full innings against a country that we literally own, but cannot beat in baseball. Just wait until Tommy Lasorda hears about this....

Iraqi Soccer Player Murdered During A Game
An Iraqi striker was shot in the head by a spectator just as he was about to score a game-tying goal against a rival. Holy crap. [BBC]...

Lady Golfer Is Most Hated Woman In America
A 62-year-old retiree gets a hole-in-one on the first swing of the first hole of the first round of her life. "I thought all golfers do this.'' Why you little.... [St.PeteTimes]...

When Mascots Don't Play Nice
Here is visual evidecne of the Pistol Pete/Big Blue donnybrook at the WAC tournament. Pete—sans mustache—is not afraid to go for the throat....

Venezuela Defeats Upstart Dutch. Good.
The cuddly Dutch honkballers lost to Venezuela, 3-1, in this afternoon's edition of the World Small Sample Size Bingo Tournament, which means the Netherlands' Cinderella run may soon come to a close. Dank God....

Your Regional Tournament DUAN
So much for mighty North Carolina. And the Scheyer Face movement failed to topple Duke. Michigan State got Buckeye'd. And, hey, look — Binghamton is going dancing. Hide the women and children. And condoms....

The Low-Grade Acid That Is The Iditarod
The great Alaskan sled dog race is in 2/3 of the way through, which means most of the participants are frost-bitten, sleep-deprived zombies tripping on their own brain fluid....

Fishin' Accomplished
He eluded U.S. forces much longer than Saddam Hussein, but this 13-pound carp was finally brought to justice recently as part of Operation Catch Fish, on the grounds of Camp Slayer in Baghdad....

Jamar Smith And His Alcohol-Monitoring Bracelet Find Redemption
Illinois-Purdue's just started. If you're like me - self-lacerating Illinoisan who masochistically dwells on the crap hands fate and Bruce Pearl have dealt us - you're wondering about Jamar Smith. Wonder no more....

The Lane Kiffin Era Continues Its Inexorable Slide Into Craziness
At last spring football has arrived in fair Knoxville, which surely means that rookie coach Lane Kiffin can leave all those little distractions behind and get down to some straight-up coachin', right? Right?...

Receiver Donte Stallworth Mows Down, Kills Miami Beach Man
Former Saint/Eagle/Patriot and current Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth has reportedly ran over and killed a pedestrian in Miami Beach early this morning....

Tar Holes. Semi Heels. Talk.
Here is your North Carolina/Florida State open thread. ACC semi-final showdown. [Yahoo!]...

It's March Madness For Mascots, Too
"[W]ith 7 seconds left and New Mexico State leading 70-69, Utah State's mascot, 'Big Blue' the bull, confronted New Mexico State's 'Pistol Pete' cowboy mascot and ripped off his fake mustache." [ESPN.com...

The Entrepreneurs, At Least, Didn't Need Overtime
We've enjoyed Syracuse's little run as much as anyone - well, maybe more than Jay Bilas, who seems more in need of a bj than usual - but then along came capitalism to make it faintly annoying....

What <em>Is</em> The Matter With Kansas?
Resolved, by the Kansas state senate: that KU no longer be required to play teams in March whose name starts with the letter "B." [Cake Rocks The Party]...